story20684.xml
Title
story20684.xml
Source
born-digital
Media Type
story
Date Entered
2006-09-11
911DA Story: Story
This is my Fifth Anniversary of 9/11. This time I'm in Arizona. Health and family concerns have moved us to move. 9/11 was not a small part of that decision. The world is so much more dangerous now that it seemed a risk not worth taking to stay. I feel bad about it, but at least I can sleep now.
However, it's very odd to be living someplace where I'm surrounded by people who weren't "in it" and didn't "live it." My sister, who was in NY with me at the time of the attacks, and I are both feeling a little alone and out of place today.
As far as being five years out from the day, well, the folks from Oklahoma City came to our school in 2002 and said, "Five years; in five years you'll start to feel normal again." I think they're mostly right. I still jump when I hear airplanes. I imagine that will continue for many years to come (the second plane flew over my school, http://www.geocities.com/aolgillian/HSLAPS_WTC.html) but other things aren't so strong. I'm not full of as much rage as I was right after the attacks. I'm FAR less trusting of our current government. I'm very defensive about the date and events. I read everything I could get my hands on regarding the attacks and fancy myself some sort of dillitante expert. I am terrified that my husband still has to work in NYC. I hate that. I love the city. I hate being afraid of it.
I'm also less confident about our decisions that affect folks overseas. They have SUCH the wrong picture of us. But it's our own damn fault. What we send overseas as part of our cultural imperialism (though I don't think any of us think it's as planned as that makes it sound--more like ACCIDENTAL cultural imperialism) is a horor. We send "Dallas" and "Baywatch" instead of "All the President's Men" and "Schindler's List". Or something like that. And then there's our drug companies and Africa...ai yi yi...it's almost a miracle that no one managed to do this BEFORE 9/11/01.
I think it's the risk we run by being a superpower; we're a bigger and easier target. And it's so much eaiser to hate "the other" than it is to fix your own problem (the log in your eye vs. the mote in someone else's...etc etc). If these youn Saudi's and Egyptian were able to take ALL that energy and help fix their own countries, it'd be spectacular.
I do think this is something we need to really examine, not in some pseudo-Oprah-Mea-Culpa (I get all angry about that garbage too), but what do we WANT to export. What do we WANT the world to see. We're just figuring out what it means to be an American--we're such a young country--it's not a bad thing to work out.
Impossible. But a good idea.
However, it's very odd to be living someplace where I'm surrounded by people who weren't "in it" and didn't "live it." My sister, who was in NY with me at the time of the attacks, and I are both feeling a little alone and out of place today.
As far as being five years out from the day, well, the folks from Oklahoma City came to our school in 2002 and said, "Five years; in five years you'll start to feel normal again." I think they're mostly right. I still jump when I hear airplanes. I imagine that will continue for many years to come (the second plane flew over my school, http://www.geocities.com/aolgillian/HSLAPS_WTC.html) but other things aren't so strong. I'm not full of as much rage as I was right after the attacks. I'm FAR less trusting of our current government. I'm very defensive about the date and events. I read everything I could get my hands on regarding the attacks and fancy myself some sort of dillitante expert. I am terrified that my husband still has to work in NYC. I hate that. I love the city. I hate being afraid of it.
I'm also less confident about our decisions that affect folks overseas. They have SUCH the wrong picture of us. But it's our own damn fault. What we send overseas as part of our cultural imperialism (though I don't think any of us think it's as planned as that makes it sound--more like ACCIDENTAL cultural imperialism) is a horor. We send "Dallas" and "Baywatch" instead of "All the President's Men" and "Schindler's List". Or something like that. And then there's our drug companies and Africa...ai yi yi...it's almost a miracle that no one managed to do this BEFORE 9/11/01.
I think it's the risk we run by being a superpower; we're a bigger and easier target. And it's so much eaiser to hate "the other" than it is to fix your own problem (the log in your eye vs. the mote in someone else's...etc etc). If these youn Saudi's and Egyptian were able to take ALL that energy and help fix their own countries, it'd be spectacular.
I do think this is something we need to really examine, not in some pseudo-Oprah-Mea-Culpa (I get all angry about that garbage too), but what do we WANT to export. What do we WANT the world to see. We're just figuring out what it means to be an American--we're such a young country--it's not a bad thing to work out.
Impossible. But a good idea.
Collection
Citation
“story20684.xml,” September 11 Digital Archive, accessed December 21, 2025, https://911digitalarchive.org/items/show/10426.