story9813.xml

story9813.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2003-09-11

I am writing on the second anniversery of the September 11th tragedy, September 11, 2003. Below I am including my post to the Website "www.wherewereyou.org" on the first anniversery, which collected many stories before this website opened. I am posting again today out of respect, and as a way to continue the healing process, as we, as individuals, and as we, as a country, gain perspective on this terrible event.

#1787 | Monday, September 9th 2002

I was asleep. A friend came to borrow my car and I groggily told him ok, and then went back to sleep. When my clock radio came on, the first thing I heard was "schools will remain open". I didn't know what happened and I bolted out of bed and turned on the tv only to hear the tail end of a sentence saying "...where the World Trade Center used to be..." Nothing computed. I thought, "what do you mean, USED to be?" I thought this was impossible. All these thoughts passed through my mind in several seconds, not minutes, as I was waking up. I immediately realized that we were in the midst of something BIG, and I felt awash with pure horror. My sister lives behind me, and I rushed to her house in my PJs. She was already up, watching the TV. She filled me in on what had happened, and I just gawked in horror and disbelief. They were replaying the video clips, and the first thing I saw was people jumping from the towers to avoid the fires, and then the buildings falling and people running from the clouds. I knew immediately that we were at war, and that I was witnessing the changing course of history before my eyes. I just sat before the TV with my sister, unable to comprehend the loss of life, or the psychological makeup of someone who would do such a thing. The tragedy profoundly affected me emotionally, and led me to question all I had known before. On the approaching anniversary, I still do not have any answers...

Barbara Taylor | 54 | Florida

Today is the second anniversary of this life-changing, tragic event. Septermber 11, 2001 changed the course of history before our very eyes and shook the foundation of truths we, as Americans, have always believed to be "self-evident".

I was physically nowhere near any of the crashes, yet, like the rest of America and the rest of the world, I was right in the middle of it through television and the media. I remained glued to the TV, in spite of warnings that immersing oneself in the continuing news coverage could lead to psychological difficulties related to the tragedy. As a result, I suffered from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) for months afterwards. Driving down the highway, I would see planes crashing into the buildings I could see ahead of me on the horizon. My psychiatrist shared with me that after 9/11, a number of people came to see him with problems resulting from the tragedy.

I live in Florida, and some of these terrorists lived and trained very near to my home. This introduced a new, global sense of fear into my life. How can we trust anyone? I struggled to avoid stereotyping Arabs and Arab-Americans and becoming afraid of the entire population. This was, after all, an "isolated incident", or was it? And why only Arabs? It could be anyone, couldn't it? How could I know? How could anyone know? The CIA and the FBI did not even have enough staff members who spoke Arabic to understand what people were talking about, even if they did listen to them. How could this be possible, given the situation in the world prior to 9/11?

During the months following the tragedy, I struggled to understand the forces behind this terrible deed. Although I keep up with the news, I did not remember every hearing of Osama bin Laden. I searched the Internet and read everything I could about the man in a struggle to understand what had happened. I read about the Middle East. I studied Islam and read parts of the Quoran. I struggled to be objective, and to try to understand and accept that the individuals who carried out this attack, as well as other suicide bombers, believed in what they were doing. They believed they were right just as we, as Americans, believe we are right.

I began to understand, with a sense of shock, how much we are hated in some parts of the world. I learned how people's values in some other cultures are so different from ours, that the "self-evident truths" we take for granted have no meaning to them. Loss of innocent life does not matter in the broader scheme of things, and therefore, any sort of meaningful dialogue is impossible. There does not seem to be any common ground.

On this second anniversary, I have more questions than answers. Is Osama bin Laden "evil" because he killed innocent Americans? Yes, by our values. We should hunt him down and kill him because of what he did to us. But, if these lives truly had no meaning to him because of his belief system, and he is really acting according to his belief in the need for a Jihad, or Holy War, how is he any different from us?

Now, I do not mean that we kill innocent people without regard. But we do adhere to our beliefs and take actions as a result. So do the suicide bombers in the Middle East. I have come to the conclusion that until we gain a deeper understanding of the psychological forces and belief systems behind these actions, there will never be any sort of stability.

We must get down off our high horse and do this. We may be the biggest and the strongest, but we are not necessarily the best, and we can always learn from others if we keep an open mind. We must understand and accept that God does not exclusively belong to the United States, but that God is represented in many forms by many peoples throughout the world.

I have come to realize, because of 9/11, that if I went to any number of countries in the Middle East, or anywhere else, that individuals in each one would say the same thing we say; that their country is the best, that God is on their side, and that they truly believe their actions are carrying out the will of God, AS THEY KNOW GOD. My entire world view has changed as a result of the September 11th attack, and I have come to believe that, as long as we think our way is the only way, there will never be peace.