nmah5071.xml

nmah5071.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-09-17

I was still upset about creeping yet closer to 30:( I had my birthday on the 4th of September. I logged off the internet a 5 am and settled into bed and the TV got on my nerves and I turned it off. The next thing I hear is my phone ringing my ex-boyfirend Mike was on the phone he said "my mom just called she said there was a explosion at the World Trade Center". I told him, "this is a sick joke you always call me with bad news". He said "turn on CNN my mom said they blew up one of the World Trade Towers in New York" none of us knew just yet it was a attack. I groped around glassesless and in the semi dark for my remote control and found it and turned on CNN. I live in Washington DC I told him get off the phone your mom will need to call you again. I tried and got onto the internet and MSNBC kept sending back server has reached copacity messages so I checked my e-mail and had a revelation I went to a here-to-be-unamed web site to listen to NYC police calls, I turned on Arlington City 'county' when the site got really slow and wouldn't load. I turned on the wrong button and recorded the whole thing leading up to the attacks on the Pentagon. I turned on channel 4 WRC I had to see our local news we live by a lot of government shit here, bases, proving grounds, all sorts of mess. I wanted to be told we were all going to die by our familier chjannel 4 news team. The news we watched after the Skins games as a family the one shouting from the TV downstairs I could hear but not understand. Then it happened the Pentagon got hit. Now Mikes mom works there by the helocopter pad was she out? A message came on our local news to clear the phone lines and to please prepare for futher reports. We may have to move we may be under threat here. Our cable co ran a alert for military members in the county to report to there units. My ISP shut us off the internet either that or I timed out I still can't tell. I waited a few minutes and tried the phone it just went "beep beep beep beep" fast busy it is called. My brother and his friends were outside and we waited watching the jets fly around so low you could read words/letters on them and hear the engines they must have been 500 to 1000 ft I swear I bet they were higher though??? The President came on the TV and things started to blur. I tried to play with my 3 year old neice and watch Nickeloden with her. I saw the second plane then I saw the collapse and I am sad to say so did she she got really quiet and asked me, "is this a movie?" I said, "yes lets watch blue" and went to put on blues clues on her TV. The president came back on TV from someplace in the mid west and I watched him say he was going to be back in Washington. I never would have beleved some time later we would be hearing a plane. We all started to scan around the whole neighbourhood came out of there houses to see what in the hell is this plane doing is it going to attack the Mall? We looked silly as the sound got louder. We scanned the sky like anti aircraft gunners spinning around and around waiting to fix on something moveing and man made. We thought which way to run? Where is it comeing from? Then it appered fast flying 1 jet about 2 or 3 minutes a formation we were amazed to see a big 747 (I think) in Airforce 1 livery and 3 jets on it's left (from the ground looking up) and one on it's right and some others in line abreast way out on the left and right then 2 jets following behind one close and one way behind like the first one we saw. I hated president Bush up untill he came on the TV and said were going to find out who did this and get them. When I saw air force 1 fly over and he was comeing home here to DC I almost cried right there and at that moment for better or worse he became The President and is President Bush to me now. He did all he could to get "home" to his city that was attacked. He also said he would find out who did this and get them. Sept 11 sucks in a word it only compares to watching Belgrade/Yugoslavia get flattened. I lost friends in both Belgrade/Yugoslavia and New York and this is the first time I had the courage to say how Sept 11 unfolded for me. I only ask How many of my friends must die before everyone gets a clue???

My life has changed because when I pick up the phone to call one of my friends now confirmed dead I remember and get sad all over again. In my dreams Yugoslavia and the US attacks blur into one with police wearing KLA uniformes and calling "here kitty kitty kitty" in Serbian only to shoot you while laughing. I wake up in a cold sweat as my room materialises around me and I am safe. Sometimes when I wake the sun is up and I get up to start at it all again. I watch the news to see how much Americans are hated and how 10 year old taliban boys shout to the TV cameras that they want to eat Americans skin. G-d, him I don't know any more I think I am still Jewish? I hear every day how we all were tipped off about the attacks on the World trade center and the Pentagon and no Jews came to work let it be known that is a load of shit and don't forget it. I am now questioning? My brother says "I absolutly beleves in G-d and I absolutly hate the mutha fucker". I just want us to all get along. I share files around and found some of the Quran, the Bible, and the Torah and I found some audio files for the same of verse being chanted or sung or just read aloud. I beleve in all faiths now I beleve evey belief is sacred and all holy words are to be shared so I do share them and today September 17, 2002 I had a Jew, a Muslim and a Christian all downloading scriptures from me. That is my America all together, all friends, all useing what we have for the common good. Of my holy books none of them say anything about terror they don't condone it and there is more words against violence than for it.

I think American leaders need to remember the old saw, "You reap what you sew" Don't give guns to those who might use them against you. Don't ignore your population and leave them to figure it out for themselves. We can't and shouldn't be expected too. The word Free must mean that that we are free. Freedom is not some silly PSA ad on the TV we know better than to beleve because the vary situation it demonstraits wouldn't happen you have seen happen before your eyes and it makes you worry. Everything I mean everything! little, stupid, backgroundish all of it needs to be saved, sound, vision all of it. The phone used to be a tool, now for some it is a last wish, a talsmin from days gone by, better times with someone they last spoke to on sept 11 evacuating never to be seen or heard from again. The phone should get a speacial place in any remebering because it was so important on that day. people must know the American People can't be crushed. Lastly We must forget to hate that is what needs to be remembered on September 11 of every year from now untill forever we must forget to hate always forget to hate. Remember to love especially those that your government doesn't like. Help them to see your part of things and than help them as best you can to live as comfortable and safe as you do here in the USA. Remember also to hear there part, learn there language, watch or listen to there news, take a day to be just like them, do what they would do and go where they would go and if they normaly can't and you normaly can don't do what ever it is for one day. If every American tried to be a Palistinian or a Serb for one day they may think twice when the governemnt says, "Let us bomb them or give there government forces guns and bullets". The government and the media here must show the world we have problems the foreign news says, "there were floods in Mozambique and there are many displaced persons in the country" If that were in the USA it would read, "There were floods in Virginia today and homes had to be evacuated familes will be staying in the local high school untill the all clear is given to go back home" There is never a displaced person in the USA why? Is not a flood a flood where ever it is and are you not displaced by it no matter who and where you are in the world. American media and government needs to use the internationaly recognized disaster discriptions like the rest of the world it will be hard to but our current discriptions give the effect of There being no problems here in the USA and that as we all know cannot be. We must sound like the rest of the world to be understood by the rest of the world.

We flew the flag and we waved it too and I who never knew the national anthem before but I can sing it well now:) The flag means home to me if I ever see it in a movie about a foreign place I think if I were there I would be so happy to see that flag to know there are Americans there and if I can get to where it is I would be safe as one could get. I used to hate it here and worry about how the world just loved to hate us. I would smile when I saw the flag get burned on the TV news now I turn it and get a lump and a tear. lets just say I think I know where home is and I think I know what freedom is now. President Bush was right when he said freedom was attacked. Now I would like the whole world to know all about the red, white and blue and what it means to be free. To live under the flag is to be able to look up and see that you are free incase you needed help in knowing that you are in the most unique place on earth the most amazing country there is nothing like the USA not even Rome we're better and our chariots are way faster and we stole all there best foods:)