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              <text>I can't even describe what I felt on September 11th, 2001. I couldn't believe that someone would do that to millions and millions of people in this world. Two towers, burned to the ground in a matter of minutes. How can you describe that without thinking "Was God not with them on that day?" My aunt was supposed to be in that building, but luckily for her-and her family-she was sick that day and couldn't go into work. 3,000 people died in one day, people screaming, people panicking, people rushing out of the buildings, calling loved ones, saying that they might not be coming home for dinner that night. You are watching TV, or in the streets praying to their neighbors that their loved ones make it home safe that day. All you hear are people saying, "Oh my God, look!!!" Black smoke filled the beautiful summer sun. I was in school-World History to be exact-and all I hear is people gossiping about how the World Trade Center was on fire. To tell you the truth, I didn't know what those were at first, until we turned the TV on and it showed the second tower being hit, over and over and over again. I hurt so bad inside. You are sitting there watching TV and have this feeling in your stomache and one thing on your mind: "who would do this to millions of innocent people?" The dark black smoke against the blue sky, and the Statue of Liberty looked scary, horrifying, threatening. People say that we should have a holiday to remember the tragedy of September 11th, but you don't want to do that. That shows that the terrorists won, and that they got what they wanted; us in fear and in pain/depression/ etc. After the towers were burned to the ground, and there was nothing left except ash and dust, there were two beams that made the shape of a cross. Thinking of that, makes me feel inside and helps me to know, that God was there that the day the planes hit the towers. He was there with the women and men that were running down the stairs trying to find the quickest and safest way out. He was with the people, who jumped out of the buildings and lost their lives who couldn't get out in time. He was there, in your heart as you watched the towers on TV get hit, and the people on the street watching this happen right in front of their eyes. I wanted to recgonize the fire fighters who risked their lives to save people stuck on the 100th floor before the towers fell. The police officers taking charge on the streets so people can't get hurt standing there watching this horrific incident happen. During that same day at school, I went to my last period class, which was band. We had to go outside and practice for our show on Friday. When we got out on the field, our band director told us to put our instruments down, be totally silent and look up at the sky, and listen. What did we hear? Absolutley NOTHING. It was so silent that you could hear people talking halfway down the street. No planes. NO helicopters, no nothing. And that is something we will never forget. This is like our World War III. and we have to remember this for the rest of our lives. So September 11th was horrible for not only people who WERE affected by losing people they loved and knew, but to others who loved their country and wanted to help, but knew that they couldn't.  </text>
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              <text>I was staying in a hotel with my children.I was sure where my life was going at that time.I was almost homeless.I didn,t send my children to school that day and when I turned on the news I saw the tragic things that were happening.I was glad I didnt send my kids to school. It was very sad.Now its one year later and not only has the world changed but I also got our lives back together.So many people were helpful to everyone, that day the world became one.We saw beyond race,color and we helped one another out.I pray for the famalies who lost loved ones but I hope they know they are HEROS!!!</text>
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              <text>Tuesday, September 11, 2001 I was sitting in a coworker's office, just about 9:00 in the morning, when we got word of first plane crash from another employee.

We got to cnn's web site and saw a picture of the gaping hole in the first tower. We were trying to count floors to estimate how many people died. It was horrible to think about being on the plane. Then we thought about looking out your window and seeing a plane come at you.

Suddenly word came (from others in the department) that there had been a second plane, to the other tower.  By this point we could not get out to the internet - everyone was trying to hit CNN's web site, as well as the other news web pages.

I called my best friend, and told her to put the TV on. She was home on maternity leave with her new son. I will never forget hearing her say "Oh my GOD, oh my GOD, look at that plane". She was looking at the video of the second plane crashing into the tower. Then she said "Look at that thick black smoke. Why are they showing the penatagon? Wait, the pentagon is on fire too!"

From that point on, we were all in each other's offices for the next hour or so, huddled around radios listening to the news. 

No one could get work done. About 11:10 am a group of us went to a sports bar that had dozens of tv's, showing all of the major networks reporting the news.  It was very somber. I was still in shock, in horror, amazed by the terrible things such as people leaping to their deaths from the buildings, and the buildings themselves dissolving, melting away into a billowing, monstrous 
evil cloud of dust. It was as though a volcano had suddenly exploded and was trying to swallow everyone in its path. There was a rain of papers. Business papers were fluttering everywhere. The gray ash was so deep, and the clouds rose so high into the sky. It was beyond comprehension.

We went back to work, and I followed my normal routine of leaving at 2pm to go and get my children. My son's babysitter, was distraught over the presently un-accounted for Godfather of her own child.  "He worked next door and he's the type of guy who would just help people."

When I got home, I turned on the TV again, watching the same footage over and over, with new information added in, reeling every time the plane ripped into the tower, astonished every time the towers sank as though in quicksand.

The mayor of NYC spoke, and I cried when he made reference to all of the children whose parents wouldn't be coming to get them that evening.  I cried and cried, and my 7 year old daughter didn't understand why I was crying. I tried to explain to her that the plane had hit the building, and it was very sad, because lots of nice people had died. But she didn't understand. Mercifully, she was too young to have it seem real. Too young to understand that somewhere in the city two hours away were girls who wouldn't have their mommy coming home that night. 

I signed on to AOL and my friends were frantic about me. They knew I was in NY state but not where.  I had actually given my phone number to one, and she had left a tearful message on my answering machine at home. She thought it was my cell phone and when she couldn't get through to me she didn't know if I had been in the city and killed.  So I logged on and immediately my friends created a chat room just for me to talk, cry, and to "be with" my friends from all over the country. One, (S.) was distraught, having been through the Oklahoma City bombing. (K) was worried about me having friends or family in the city. (At this writing the only person I knew was a former co-worker of several years before.) And, my beloved Canadian friend was offering the love and sympathy of her entire country.

The most gutwrenching thing in the days to come was the flood of individual faces of the people lost. The stories, of who was late and who was early, and thus spared, or lost. The signs, everywhere ... "Have you seen me?" put up by desperate relatives.

My friend (another AOL pal) M lives in NYC and works in Manhattan and sent a gripping email describing her day.  We were so worried about her until we heard from her. (It was two days).

The mass on Sunday was very hard for me. I walked in and right near where we always sit were the prayer candles.  They were white, with red and blue candles forming the cross in the center. I started to cry then.  I cried through God Bless America and the other patriotic songs. I went outside and saw friends, and we all cried together.

I had a painting that I had done, when I took a watercolor class in college. It was part of the flag, draped over a blue and white fabric. I put it in the front window -- it was there for the gulf war, and now it is there again. I don't really know when I'll put it away.</text>
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              <text>  I remember it like it was yester day, I was in my first period class, working on the school?s laptops as a tech aid for our technology teacher when my teacher told me to come down the hall way with him and said that something had happened, we turned the corner and stared at the TV to see the horrifying videos of a plane crashing into one of the world trade centers.
  As I saw the black smoke I became completely speechless, my focus ness was distracted as I heard a man?s voice asking how many lives were in danger, another replied that he had no idea. Then my teacher spoke out and startled me by saying ?hundreds.? The room grew very quiet once again, as the second plane crashed into the second world trade center. Someone murmured ?thousands? we all were frozen in shock, watching that fire and smoke rise into the clear blue sky. 
  Later during mast of my up coming classes we watched the news asking questions out loud only to be answered by silence. Closer to the end of the day I got a chance to call my mother, which set my mind at ease? a little, even though New York was hundreds of miles away I couldn?t help but think that my mother, father, sister and her husband could somehow get into an car wreck and get hurt or worst. But when I talked to her she told me that everyone was fine. 
  But what still plaques my mind today is that hundreds of kids came home to find that their moms or dads or both didn?t come home, and that some waited days to hear if their parents, friends or other family members were alive or not. But days after 9/11/01 I was watching TV when I heard that many shops and stores had run out of American flags and went I rode my bike up and down our street I saw that almost everyone had a flag or banner supporting America in it?s time of grief. And once again on the one year anniversary of September the 11th 2001 America has reunited and remembered what happened one year ago today.
  Today is September the 11th 2002. My motto now is:? live each day like there will not be a tomorrow." Because who knows what will happen tomorrow.
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              <text>Though my home is Manhattan, I was attending the Texas Travel Industry Association conference in Austin, TX, and preparing to fly to Tacoma, WA early that morning, so I'd not turned on my TV.

A colleague called my room to alert me, and commiserate: when I called my husband in NY - 2 blocks from the Empire State Building - he knew only that a plane had struck the WTC: how odd it felt to be telling this news to someone barely two miles from the site of the tragedy itself.

My taxi was waiting, so we drove to the airport, since flights had not yet been grounded. En route, we heard of the Pentagon strike, and then the Pennsylvania crash. By the time we arrived at the airport, it was closed down, so I returned to my hotel and the conference, where there was a great sense of community and support for the two New Yorkers in their midst.

Several days later, my colleague and I drove East: whenever we stopped for food, we would meet others crossing the country in the opposite direction, heading home, too, and share stories. During daylight hours, simple sights were comforting: cows grazing placidly on a hillside; the sunshine and blue sky that marked that week.

I was lucky that the one friend who worked in the WTC - and who had experienced the 1993 bombing and survived a subsequent bout with breast cancer - had succeeded in walking down from the 66th floor. Her two grown children, both of whom work in the area, were sure she had perished, until later in the day when they made contact.

Several weeks later, I retrieved a roll of photos from a conference in Bermuda in early Septemebr, to which my husband and I had cruised from NY: and there, taken on September 1, was my last photo of the Twin Towers.

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              <text>I wrote this on Sept 10, 2002:

As the anniversary of the terror attacks on America approaches, I really feel I need to write down my feelings and thoughts of what happened that day, and what 9/11 means to me.
 
No, I wasn't one of the people who were in the Towers, or the Pentagon, nor did I have friends or relatives in either of these places or on the planes, that perished.  I was one of the millions of Americans that day that was glued to the television, watching America's innocence being stolen away in front of the whole world.
 
I remember that morning so clearly.  Joshua was running around, a cute little toddler at almost 15 months.  Zeke was just two months old.  I had gotten the girls off to school and Earl called me as he does every morning after he goes to work.  He said, "Hey what is up at the World Trade Center?  Did it get bombed or what?"  
 
My immediate reaction was, "Again?!"  I remembered when it was bombed before.  I went and turned on CNN.  And stood there looking at the World Trade Center  Tower #2 smoking.  I told him they said a plane had hit it.  I thought, "Oh those poor people" and "I wonder how they will get the plane out of there".  I never thought it was a terrorist attack, just a horrible accident.  And then the unthinkable happened, the second plane hit right there on international television.
 
During the next few hours, which seemed like days, I was, along with millions of other Americans, glued to the television.  The Pentagon was hit, the towers fell, the plane in Pennsylvania crashed.  And all I could think was, "When is it going to stop?  How many more planes are going to come crashing down from above with psychopathic idiots at the controls?"
 
America was raped that day on international television, for the whole world to see.  Time after time she was raped.  She was left hurting, bleeding, wounded in her heart.  But she has come back stronger than ever, in some ways.
 
What most Americans fail to realize is  yeah, we are winning the war on terror as we know it, but there is going to come a time that we are hit again in a way and in a place that we have never even thought about.  I don't know how many times I've heard on the news, "Had we known that they would use airliners as flying bombs..."  Our government is doing a very good job coping with and trying to prevent attacks on this country and our interests abroad.  But it will happen again.
 
Before you get mad at me for stating that, let me explain.  In the weeks following the attacks, it was God who led this country, who comforted this country.  But quite honestly, people have become as complacent or more so than they were before the attacks.  We have got to turn our hearts and our lives toward God now more than ever.  You know why?  Because it is only going to get worse.  Don't believe me?  Get out the Bible and turn to Revelation.  This is not the beginning of the end, we are a whole lot closer to the end than anyone knows.
 
It wasn't 3 weeks after the attack Earl and I were talking.  The ACLU was having a field day with all the "God Bless America" stuff saying how it was WRONG to say that and how the President shouldn't do this and shouldn't pray, etc etc etc...  And I said to Earl, "They just don't get it.  They don't get the fact that unless they turn their hearts TOWARD God this country is going to suffer an even greater attack."  He said, "Oh that won't happen".  I said, "That is what they said on Sept 10, 2001".
 
It can and it will happen.  How many more times must America be on her hands and knees, how many more wounds must she suffer?  Every time I hear a plane fly over I think of 9/11.  And how it changed my life.  In God's arms, that is the only safe haven.  
 
The other day, I read about all the people on Flight 93 that went down in Pennsylvania.   It was a story that was compiled of all the people that had received phone calls from their loved ones on that plane, that day.  When you know that the end of your life has come and you have to make a choice between doing right, and doing wrong, then that is the time your true character comes out.  The innocent people on that plane that day, were suddenly all equal in each others eyes.  It didn't matter if they were sitting in first class, business class, or coach, each one of them suddenly became real.  All facades were taken off and humility took over.  I don't know about you, but I want to be real all the time, not just in the last hour or two of this life.  I want to learn to live life like I only have 1-2 hours left.  What do I have to lose?  Pride? Yes.  I have lots of pride to lose, we all do.  
 
I'm thankful for all those people who selflessly gave their lives for us to live with freedoms that we have been given.  I'm thankful for the wake-up call that we've all been given and I pray that we all heed that call.  God's knocking.  And whether people like it or not, the freedoms that we enjoy in this country are based on the Word of God.  
 
I hope this speaks to someone today.  I feel much better just sharing my heart.
 
Leona</text>
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              <text>I awoke to the sound of my phone ringing and heard my friend tell me to turn on my tv. The channel didnt matter. The first thing I saw was the replay of one of the impacts. I glanced at my computer screen and saw an instant message from my friend who lives in New York city that said "oh my god i just saw a plane crash into the world trade center". I will never forget that moment for as long as I live.

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I was lucky enough to quickly get through on the phone to both of my friends who live in New York, and they were safe too.

Thank you for making this resource available. I feel that it will be an invaluable historical document for the future of humanity (or inhumanity).</text>
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              <text>Well i was a sophmore in high school and i was in my World History class when we heard the news about the plane hittin one of the World Trade Center. I didnt think much of it.  I dindnt know what that was or anything.  Zapata is a really small town and really i lived in my world.  but as the day went on and i got to my 3rd period class which was ROTC. We went in to the class room and he had us sit and told us taht "somethin horrible was happenin in America right now." and then he turn on the tv and the news keep replay this image which was an airplane going right thourgh a building and i was stunned cause i had never seen anything like it and then i saw people jumpin out of the towers.  i started cryin not out loud but stilli couldn't belivie what i was seen.  I remember goin home and tunin to the new just to seem if there was anything new about the attacks.  i cried for about 3 weeks i just couldnt get it thourgh my head how someone could do this.   </text>
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              <text>   The attack happened 5 days after my birthday, and it really ripped my heart out to hear about the lives lost doing this tragedy.  On that day I was on duty all day and night.  My commander came to us and told us that the United States had to make a drastic change because of the tragedy.  I said to myself that I never thought that with an army like ours this would ever happen, but on that day I was proven wrong.  I didn't have any family in New York, but I had an uncle working at the pentagon when the attack happened.  I wanted to do what it took to bring those to justice who turned our country upside down.    </text>
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              <text>I remember the day vividly.  It was a very clear day with a sunny blue sky and I was walking to my office from Penn Station listening to my walkman.  I was listening to the radio and not a CD as I usually do.  The radio announcer said that a plane had hit the World Trade Center.  I, like many others, assumed that it was small plane and although I felt a tug in my emotions, I didn't think much more about it.  As I walked into my office, the phone was ringing and it was my husband who said "did you hear the news" and I answered yes, I heard that a plane hit the World Trade Center.  He said "no, Linda, another plane hit the other tower."  As I heard those words, my stomach lie at my feet when the realization that we were attacked hit me.

I am a marketing manager of a law firm and part of my duties and a big part of my nature is to nurture people.  I immediately had a television turned on, consulted with the managing partner of the firm about how to proceed with the day and called upon my catering service to deliver lunch for 100 people so no one had to leave the building if they didn't want to.

By the time lunch hour arrived, most of the employees opted to leave and go home.  I had been on the streets earlier trying to secure hotel rooms for clients and employees who may not be able to get home and saw how chaotic it was.  When I returned to the office I called my husband and told him that I was staying put until I knew that I could get home safely.  I felt that perhaps I was safer where I was then out on the streets at that moment.

My older daughter had just settled into college campus life a few weeks prior to 9/11 and I knew that she would probably be worried about me.  The phones lines were down but I was able to contact her by email.  It took hours for me to be able to call my father in South Carolina but I finally got through to tell him that I was ok.

After I spoke to my family members, I turned my attention to the office and tried my best to help in anyway I could.  About 4:00 the managing partner of the firm came by to say that he thought we were probably the last 2 in the office and I should go home to be with my family.  I wasn't sure that the railroad was operational yet, so I took a subway and met my husband in Queens where he picked me up.  He never looked so good!!!!!

I couldn't wait to get home and hug and kiss my younger daughter (who was 14 at the time and didn't quite understand the impact of the events).  We went to a diner in the neighborhood so that we would sit together and talk over a meal and it was somewhat therapeutic to do so.  We pointed out the smoke that could be seen miles away in Long Island to her and she spoke about the time that she accompanied me to the World Trade Center to visit a friend.  She remembered the wonderful view that Mary had from her office of the Statute of Liberty.  Luckily, Mary had decided to leave Marsh and McLennan the year before!

9/11 has changed me.  I hope that I am more patient with people, less worried about cleaning the house than spending time with my family.  I've always been spiritual.  My daughter has decided to transfer schools and she is now at a college in Manhattan instead of the hills of upstate New York.  Do I worry about her being in Manhattan?  No, I'm happy to be able to peek at her sleeping in her bed at night again -- as if she were 3 years old again.</text>
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              <text>It was a beautiful, crystal clear Indian summer day. The sky was a blue as I?d ever seen it. The clouds were crisp with a brilliant sun peeking through. From my perch on the 14th floor at our Fairview Park office tower the view was amazing and I could see forever.

My colleague came into the office and over to a group of us and said a plane has crashed in the WTC. At first I didn?t understand and she said it wasn?t a joke a plane has crashed into the WTC. I thought it must be a small commuter plane as I recalled hearing that this happened many years ago at the Empire State Building. I?m a native New Yorker born and bred in Brooklyn. I thought a little plane hitting the WTC wouldn?t cause too much damage.

 I knew the trading area in our office would have the television on and sure enough when I walked over several of my colleagues were watching the today show. As Katie Couric was talking about the unfolding incident at the WTC, we were all surprised to watch another plane slam into the tower. At that point I realized that it was no small commuter plane accident but a terrorist plot meant to destroy and kill innocent people.  At this point it hadn?t hit me yet what had happened. 

As I stood there with my fellow colleagues I could not believe what I was seeing. I didn?t realize the magnitude of the disaster that was going on in lower Manhattan that day.  As I walked back to my cubicle everyone around me had this look of shock. Everyone was going online to CNN, MSNBC etc. to get as much information as possible. 

I couldn?t imagine things would get much worse that day but as I would soon find out things did get much, much worse.
The next thing I heard is that the Pentagon has been hit. I thought to myself this can?t be possibly be happening. I ran over to the window and sure enough I could see a plume of smoke rising from the Pentagon building. I ran back to the television and now CNN was on and we all watched with horror as the twin towers and now the Pentagon burned.  Rumors began to run rampant as I heard that the State department had been bombed and the White House too. People were beginning to think that this was the start of some huge terrorist campaign and wanted to go home. The rumors were everywhere and I wondered when the other shoe would drop. There was just so much anxiety and everyone knew that Washington DC was a major terrorist target.
 
Everyone began to pack up and gather his or her belongings. At that point I?d heard that one of the WTC buildings had collapsed, I didn?t think it was possible for the building to simply collapse into dust. I prayed that people were able to escape to safety before the building collapsed. 

My husband called and said he was going to pick up our son at school and that I should get home as soon as I can. As I prepared to leave some of our department managers met to discuss what the company should do in light of this tragedy.

I don?t even remember how I made it home. I listed to news radio all the way home and could not believe what I was hearing. Once I got home I immediately sat on the couch and started watching the news. As I flipped through the channels I was haunted by what I saw on the Spanish channel Univision. They filmed people jumping from the WTC. I saw people so desperate to get away from the smoke and flames that the chose to jump rather than become human barbeque inside of the building. The next channel I flipped to showed the tower collapsing floor by floor. At that point I just lost it, I began to sob out loud. My city, the state of my birth was going through the tragedy of the century.  At this point I just sat in front of the television for hours like many other Americans and watched with a measure of sadness, unbelief and finally anger.

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              <text>     Its funny.  I can't quite remember the day before, or the day after, but the 11th of September will always be in my mind.  I remember that I was in my cooking class when the attacks came.  I remember that my initial reaction was "So what," lots of plane crash every day.  Then slowly I realized that they had actualy hit the buildings themselves.  I even remember what some people wer wearing.
     Another thing that I remember is that when I went to lunch some of the kids were lauging.  Not to feel better about things but because of the people who had jumped out the windows.  I almost wanted to slap those people for being so insensitive.
     A much brighter aspect of the attacks that I remember happened a couple of days later.  After the attacks many people went to see patriotic movies at the video store.  While some people got films like Saving Private Ryan, we rented Indipendance Day.  Thats right, nothing better that a film about Americans banding together to fight Alien Terrorists  </text>
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Well it is a year later and my children have learned some valuable lessons in the last year. I never thought that myself or my children would live to see something this terrible happen on in the USA. We are stronger now. My 12 year old has a new sense of Pride in her country. We are going on with our lives. On Sept 11 I put my flag out. THat flag over time got ruined in the weather. It was replaced with 2 flags. I also have my POW flag out still! THey will stay there!!! When they get worn they will be replaced. I will never forget!!!  My prayers are for those victims and families.  </text>
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              <text>I was at work when a co-worked (Marianne) yelled over to my office that her mom was on the phone and something hit the World Trade Center.  We rushed for my Boss's office to turn on CNN to see what happened. One after another co-worker came into the office with blank expressions on their faces. I had hoped it was a movie, that it could not possibly be happening for real. We sat in disbelief and sadness. 

Our office sent us home to be with our families.  I went and picked up my girls and took them home where I felt safer. 

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              <text>I woke up early September 11, 2001 the same as every other morning. I always flip on the news before getting ready for work. All I remember is seeing the World Trade Center with smoke billowing out of a gigantic hole in the side of the building. I was in shock and confused. At first I thought there had just been a plane crash but then the news of a hijacking came to my attention. Watching the second tower colapse on live television is an image I will never forget. I cried and prayed silently that those who were working in the buildings at the time were able to escape unharmed. I watched the television all day at home and work. While driving I had the radio on. I craved information, I needed to know who would do such a thing. The attacks were cowardice, made by men to afraid to fight face to face. People like that need to be wiped from this earth. They have no concept of the value of human life. The people they killed did not harm them, they did not have anything to do with their way of life. I know if I had been on that plane I too would have fought till the bitter end. All those people did by destroying the trade centers was bring America together. We are stronger then ever and we will fight back!</text>
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              <text>I had a seminar about computer programs when suddenly an SMS-message arrived. After some minutes I looked at the message from a news-magazin ... the sms was something like "A tower of the WTC was hit by an airplane..". I was disturbed and at first did not believe the message. I few seconds later there was another sms "the second tower was also hit by an airplane.." My next thought was, where is the next TV, and I asked the professor. He asked me, why I wanted to watch television. I said "the world is burning and we sit here doing some stupid computer stuff." Everyone looked at me. I told what I had recently read on my cell phone. Most of the people looked at my like I was crazy, and worked on. I went up to the front desk and asked there for the next TV which was in the second floor. Around the TV I found a few people who were not able to speak, more and more arrived during the next minutes. We only looked on the TV-set and the only comment you heared from time to time was "This is war". About half an hour later my pregnant wife was calling my on the phone. She told me, that she was very afraid, to stay home alone on this night. I saw the towers collapsing. After that left Nuremberg back to Frankfurt where we live. I think we sat the hole night in front of our TV, not believing what we see. </text>
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              <text>I was on my way into work when it all began.  I had just arrived at work for my shift started at 9am.  I worked for an outsource company so as I normally did, I sat down and turned on my radio.  As I'm sitting there, the radio newsman came on with an important announcement.  I remember listening to it and not believing it, thinking that this was just a joke or something.  He announced that a plane had hit one of the towers of the World Trade Center.  I got up and told my co-workers this.  Most of them took it with mild shock, thinking what a horrible accident.  I returned to my desk and listened more, and I'll never forget the sound of the voice for the next event.

"Oh my God, another plane flew into the other tower."

The voice on the radio, was sickened at what they saw on their own TVs as they watched the second tower being struck.  At that moment, the bottom of my stomach dropped.  I was numb.  I didn't know what was going on. By this point, I tried to go to various websites.  CNN.com, MSNBC.com, Foxnews.com.  I couldn't get to any site.  I was finally able to log into MSNBC.com and saw the horrible flames in a still shot.  I knew this was no accident.  My co-workers at this point started to know something was going on.  Hushed whispers going on.  I stood up and looked at people milled about.  This was definately not going to be a normal day at the office.

I don't remember exactly when, but I remember my office rolled out a TV they normally used for trainings and turned it on to one of the local stations.  As the first images, for us in the office, of the whole ordeal, I was just glued to the set.  No emotion.  I couldn't feel anything.  I guess my saving grace was that, as I worked on an inbound call center, I took some calls as they came in answering questions about people's invoices and charges.  It was a distraction or what was really important.  I know at one point, the person who sat next to me ran home and brought in a television of their own, and set it up on an empty desk behind me.  

I remember standing there, watching everything.  Everyone was so confused and unsure on anything at that time.  Noone knew what was going on.  And then, they stated the pentagon was just hit.  The pit in my stomach dropped even further.  What the hell is going on here?  This is America!  We don't have these problems.  We don't have terrorists!  That's something you hear about in Israel, not in the USA!  I was scared.  I was worried.  What if we're next?  What if the bridge I cross is next?  What if I'm personally next?  

As we're watching the news, I remember turning away as they announced the second tower came tumbling down.  I couldn't watch.  I couldn't see these symbols of strength come falling and crashing to the earth.  I turned my back and heard the rumble come across through the TV speakers.  I knew at that point the world changed.  After a few seconds, I remember Tom Brokaw saying.

"They're gone.  The Twin Towers of the World Trade Center.  They're now gone."

We continued watching the rest of the day as people made guesses as to what happened and why.  I finally ended my shift and went home.  During all of this, I had forgotten that this was also my mother's birthday.  I came home and saw her face.  Saw her tears.  I just ran over and hugged her.  

Historians say that every generation has an event where people ask "where were you when this happened?"  It happened with JFK being shot.  It happened with the moon landing.  It happened with stock market crash.  And now, it's happened for me.  Where was I on 9/11?  I wish I didn't have to remember that day.  I wish we had our innocence again.  I wish that none of this ever happened.  But now, three years later, it has happened.  A memory which will never be forgotten.  

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                  <text>This collection is the bulk of the archive, representing the reactions and experiences of thousands of individuals beginning in 2002. </text>
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              <text>this is what i have up on my site on www.rossirant.com
for the 5 years anniversary

September 11th 2006


911 2006
With the anniversary of 911 quickly approaching, I find myself doing, what I have done every year since September 11th 2001; take inventory of myself and inventory of the world around me since that terrible morning.
For mewell I still jump when I hear a crash, still feel my heart crawl into my throat when a jet flies lower then usual, still, (admittedly) get nervous when I see a group of Middle-eastern men in a huddle talking, still find myself tying up loose ends every time Im getting ready to fly, still fight back tears when I stand on my roof and look out at where the towers had been, still remember the weird smell, still think of the endless dust of ground zero whenever I walk in falling snow, still remember the woman who said she saw me walking home late one day from ground zero and did not say hello to me because she thought I looked like the living dead, a zombie trudging down the Bowery and I thought all that love I tried to pour into the dead eyed broken faces and it never occurred to me that I was like that too for a little while, still look at firemen and feel so much love and compassion and gratitude that I think I will burst at the seams, still look at President Bush and feel anger that he turned universal well wishers into haters of America, still wonder why the hell Osama runs free while nearly 3,000 innocents are under ground, still have anger, still have asthma and still, still, still, feel eternally grateful that I was granted the chance to go down there and be a part of the most wondrous, brave, selfless and love-full rescue and relief mission that I had ever imagined.
I no longer take life for granted, I no longer think I have all the time in the world to see my loved ones, no longer believe that fame and glory and success are as important as health and life and laughter, no longer think that mass murder is a distant stranger, that angels only exist in heaven, that strangers cant in an instant love you more then friends, that strangers cant in an instant destroy thousands of worlds, I no longer wake up in the morning and feel that I have endless mornings to loll around in, but instead hop out of bead determined to make this day count, I am no longer innocent.
The world
No longer seems to want to work it out, talk it out, hash it out, negotiate it out, it wants instead to blow up its innocents, to teach children how to turn themselves into bombs, to teach educated adults to hate entire religions and races, to turn religion whether it be right wing Christian, fundamentalist Moslem or extreme Judaism into a right to kill anyone who opposes, the world seems to have forgotten its world wars, its Nazis, its genocides, its crusades and rivers of blood in the name of god, the world is probably angry because slowly but steadily with our machines and our smoke and our nukes we are breaking its heart.
And sothis downtown New Yorker, this American, this Jew, this woman, this out loud and proud gay mama, would like to plant a seed..a little seed, a tiny, itty, bitty seed that all of you take and put into your pocket and hold to your heart and warm and nourish and help grow into a strong root and then a proud tree projecting from your hearts out into the world, this tree of love, this tree of peace, this tree of kindness, of remembrance, of new beginnings.. it is time my friends, my family, my readers my wondrous strangers, my new faces and old ones, it is time to change the world.
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