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                  <text>September 11 Digital Archive Stories</text>
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                  <text>This collection is the bulk of the archive, representing the reactions and experiences of thousands of individuals beginning in 2002. </text>
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          <name>911DA Story: Story</name>
          <description>Tell us about what you did, saw, or heard on September 11th. Feel free to write as much or as little as you like. Tell us your story:</description>
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              <text>September 11, 2001
By Richard Widows

In the spring and summer of 2001, my employer, Thomson Financial, had moved many of its New York City employees from Midtown in Manhattan to its new world headquarters at 195 Broadway, across the street from the World Trade Center (WTC).  The group I was with, the Wiesenberger unit, moved in late March of 2001.

I commuted to work by walking to the train station in Westfield, NJ and taking the Raritan train line to Newark, NJ.  There I boarded a PATH train to the WTC.  From the WTC it was a walk of just a couple of minutes to our building.

Monday, Sept. 10, 2001, turned out to be busier than expected for me.  Normally I exercised at noon.  But in the morning, some mid-day conference calls were scheduled that prevented me from exercising.  But it was a nice day and I wanted to at least get outside for a few minutes, so I walked over to the plaza by the World Trace Center towers.  In the summer they set up a large stage and had concerts and other entertainment during the days at the plaza.  It was a nice, warm day and I decided to listen to the music and smoke my once-a-year cigar.  It was a peaceful, relaxing few minutes by the WTC towers.

At the time, I considered exercising twice the next day (Sept. 11)?once early in the morning and again at noon? to make up for the missed day.  And if it turned out to be a busy day that would prevent me for a noon workout, at least I would get one exercise session in the morning.

On Sept. 11, 2001, I arrived at the Westfield station a few minutes before 6:00 a.m.  That was my usual time to catch a train that departed a few minutes past 6:00.  The train arrived on time, but at its next stop, Garwood, NJ, it stalled.  After 10 or 15 minutes of waiting, the crew announced that they were unable to re-start it and we would have to catch another train.  Everyone filed out and walked to the track on the other side.  We waited for about 20 minutes for the next train.  Everyone was in decent spirits except one lady who was vocal about her annoyance over the delay.  I had been working at home once or twice a week and thought about walking home and working there rather than waiting for another train.  But the nature of the work I had that day was better accomplished at my office, so I decided to wait.

Sept. 11 was a Tuesday.  It had been unusually warm over the previous weekend but had cooled down Monday night.  So Sept. 11 was the first day since spring that I was wearing a long-sleeved shirt to work.  But it wasn?t so cool that I needed a jacket.  It was a perfectly clear, calm day.

I was a bit annoyed that it was slightly after 8:00 a.m. when I arrived in my office?roughly an hour later than my usual arrival time.  Because I was so much later than usual, I didn?t consider a morning session at the fitness center to make up for the loss of my noon workout the previous day.

I got some coffee and sent at least one email to a colleague in Rockville, MD, the headquarters of my Thomson Financial unit.

Our building is across Church Street from the WTC.  It is an old AT&amp;T headquarters, probably built in the 1950s.  In the best tradition of the old AT&amp;T--in the 1950s the largest corporation in the world--there are many marble columns and impressive brass fittings in the building.  Also, in the best AT&amp;T tradition, it is probably as solid a building as is likely to exist.  It is about 25 stories tall and is separated from the WTC by the relatively new Hilton Millennium Hotel.  The hotel is very oddly shaped, a block wide, about 40 stories high but only 60 to 80 feet deep.  It looks almost like a long, thin book balanced on its bottom edge.

I had an interior office about 20 feet from the exterior windows and facing generally away from the WTC.  It was on the sixth floor.

I was in my office at 8:45 a.m. when the first explosion happened.  It was a short, very loud bang and the building shook.  I heard some screams and shouts from the street.  My first guess was that two trucks had collided head-on with an explosion or perhaps a crane or a section of a building under construction had crashed to the ground.  I also thought it could have been an underground gas explosion or a collision in the subway system.  In New York City, some buildings shake when subway trains pass under them, so the shaking didn?t overly alarm me.  I walked over to the window and saw people running down the street away from the WTC.  Others our area of the office looked on, but no one seemed overly alarmed.  I couldn?t see the WTC from my office and I didn?t see any debris coming down.

I phoned my wife Jackie to tell her something had happened but that I was OK.  The line was busy.  I tried again and it was still busy.  I tried a third time and this time there was no answer.  I left a message on the answering machine that something had happened but that I was OK.  So I tried her work number, although I didn?t expect anyone to be in.  But there was and I left a message to tell her when she got in that I was OK.

Then I called Ramy Shaalan (born in Egypt) in our unit?s headquarters in Rockville, Maryland, to let them know that the three Wiesenberger people who were at the NYC office were OK.  He wasn?t in.  Then I tried Ray Amani (born in Iran) and he wasn?t in.

I walked over to get another cup of coffee and some people around the office were talking about an airplane hitting the WTC.  I figured that the explosion was probably caused by a small plane bouncing off one of the towers and then exploding when it hit the ground.  On the way back, someone walked in and said it was a big plane, like a Boeing 747 (the biggest passenger airplane at the time).  I figured the person was exaggerating.  As I walked over to my office, another person walked in and said it was some sort of large, commercial plane and the collision was bad.  He said he saw debris flying out of the WTC tower when it hit.  I looked out the window again and saw a long line of fire engines and other emergency vehicles approaching.  I still didn?t realize how bad it was, but I figured that I would wait for things to settle and then later go outside and take a look.

I again tried others in out Maryland headquarters and no one answered.  So I phoned Bill Chambers, the president, and told him the three Wiesenberger people at 195 Broadway who were in at that time were all OK.  He said, ?OK in what way??  I said there was an explosion in the WTC area, possibly involving an airplane.  ?You will probably hear something about it on the news,? I said, in what was probably the understatement of the century.  Then I said I wanted to call my wife and Bill thanked me for the message.  I learned later that when I called, he was in a meeting with two marketing people.  When he put down the phone after talking with me, he said: ?Holy shit!  An airplane has hit the WTC.?

As soon as I put down the phone from talking with Bill, it immediately rang.  It was Jackie.  She said she was out walking the dog when I called the third time and when she came in the WTC was on TV.  There were holes in it from the collision and it was burning badly.  I assured her I was OK and would be very careful when going out to look.  She discouraged me from going anywhere but straight home.  It turned out that soon afterwards she got calls from friends and family members asking about me.

In July I joined a fitness center at the top floor of the Marriott WTC hotel.  It was located right between the two WTC towers.  As I mentioned above, I usually I exercised at noon.  But on the weekend before the attack I had been talking about sometimes exercising early in the morning, before coming into work.  Jackie was worried that Sept. 11 was the day I might have chosen for a morning workout (which I almost did because I missed exercising the previous day).  If I had, I probably would have been showering or just walking out between the towers when the first plane hit.  Actually, it was a distinct possibility.  But it was to be a busy day and I wanted to accomplish a lot early, in case distractions would interrupt my work later on.  Also, with the train delay, I would not have done it (but what if the train had not broken down?).  Jackie remembered my remark about exercising early and wanted to make sure that I had chosen the morning of 9/11 (she apparently had not yet read my voice message).

I decided to go to the men?s room and then possibly to go outside and look at the damage.  The men?s room is on the side of our building closest to the WTC South Tower, which was the second to be hit.  I was approaching the area when the second explosion occurred.  I was perhaps 20 feet from the windows closest to the South Tower.  It seemed like a much stronger explosion, possibly because I was much closer (about 200 yards away).  The building seemed to shake even harder.  Almost immediately, debris was falling like a severe winter blizzard?not straight down but at 45-plus degree angle?except that it was big pieces anywhere from a foot to a yard or more in size.  There was so much debris coming down that you couldn?t see very far.  It was 9:03, 18 minutes after the first explosion.

The men?s room could wait, I decided.  It was time to get out of the area.  Maybe we were being bombed and more explosions were forthcoming, I thought.  I reversed and started back toward my office.  I looked at the elevators but decided it was better to take the stairs.  I thought briefly about going back to my office to pick up some work.  But I saw others heading toward the stairs and decided it was time to get out.  So I didn?t bother to go back to my office to get anything.

We filed hastily down the stairs to the Thomson Financial reception area on the fourth floor, where the stairs ended.  Some people were wandering around to various parts of the large reception area shouting about not knowing how to get out. Unfortunately, we had not yet had any fire drills since moving into the building.  Finally, the receptionist led us to another set of stairs that led down the four stories to the lobby.  Some of the people were beginning to panic.

When I got to the lobby, I didn?t pay attention to what the others were doing, I had already planned what I would do.  I headed diagonally across to the exit closest to Fulton Street.  That exit was farthest from the South Tower and, in my opinion, was the exit route bested shielded by the Millennium Hotel.

Normally I am rather reckless by nature and would be inclined to spend some time looking around.  But after talking to Jackie and seeing the debris flying down, I figured it was best to do things the way she would.  So I didn?t attempt to look at the WTC.  I walked briskly east on Fulton Street, keeping close to buildings so that I could hopefully find shelter if more debris started coming down.  There were big pieces of plate glass on Fulton Street as far away as four blocks from the WTC.  But there aren?t buildings with plate glass that size, so I figured they were from the WTC towers.  As I walked down Fulton Street, most of the merchants were already in the process of closing their stores.

I was probably at least a quarter mile away before I decided to look at the WTC.  As Jackie had said, there were holes in the buildings.  The fires were burning on all sides and black smoke was rising everywhere.  The flames were big and red and very menacing.  I figured that it was virtually impossible that anyone above the points of impact would survive.  Even if people got to the roofs, the smoke was so heavy that I couldn?t imagine helicopters being able to get close enough to land or even to drop lifelines to the roofs.

It looked to me as if pieces of the metallic outer-structure of the buildings were melting and bending downward from the heat.  Also, I think of fire as normally burning upward.  The South Tower?s fire seemed to be visibly moving downward.  It was probably the intense heat from the blazing jet fuel plus the flaming fuel itself running downward in the building.

Years before I did some volunteer work that resulted in me spending some time talking with a senior firefighter.  Among other things, he told me that virtually any human being, when confronted by fire, will jump from a building rather than burn.  News stories I have read and documentaries I have seen on TV seem to confirm this.  I saw dark objects falling from the towers that I hoped were not people?but probably were.  The dark objects were moving outward before falling, so they were almost certainly people jumping.  They was just above the fire line, so it is a fairly certain assumption that they were people jumping from a thousand feet up rather than burning to death.  There were more of them than I cared to think about.  But I didn?t want to see people jumping from the towers, so I did not spend more than a few moments looking at the buildings from a close distance.

If there were more explosions to come, I didn?t want to be around any tall buildings, so I headed east on Fulton Street.  I figured that it was best to get back to New Jersey as fast as possible.  But I still needed to go to the men?s room.  I figured my best bet was to take Fulton to the East River and use the men?s room at the Fulton Fish Market shopping area.  Along Fulton, people seemed stunned.  Many along Fulton Street?young and old?were weeping.

Words cannot describe the feeling of standing a few hundred yards away from those two giant towers burning, knowing that thousands of people are not far away, were dead or doomed to die.  What I remember thinking is: This really isn?t happening.  It?s like a movie.  These two huge buildings aren?t both on fire, with holes in them.  These thousands of people not far away aren?t really dead or doomed to die.

I knew that there were going to be horribly tragic stories about doomed people calling relatives on their cell phones.  I think that was what I least looked forward to.  And later it proved to be true.

Along Fulton some people were talking about taking the subway to get away from the area.  But I heard some say that the stations were closed.  I didn?t like the idea of taking the subway, as I felt that cave-ins and gas attacks were a possibility.  I didn?t like the idea of being stuck somewhere in a dark tunnel.

When I got to the Fulton shopping complex, I checked the building directory and saw that the rest rooms were on the second level.  When I got there, I saw the men?s room sign, but there was a line of 20 or 30 people.  I started toward what I thought was the end of the line, but three women seated on a bench told me they were the end and I would have to line up behind them.  Then, somehow, one of the women on the bench came to the conclusion that I wanted to use the men?s room.  She said the line was for use of pay phones and that I could go directly into the men?s room, which I did.

I wasn?t aware of a bad smell from the burning buildings until I left the Fulton shopping area.

My plan was to walk to mid-town Manhattan, probably around four or five miles by foot.  So from the Fulton Market area, I just started walking north.  Many, many police cars passed me headed toward the WTC.  I thought how brave they were.  My inclination was to give them a thumbs up, but I didn?t want to distract them and I also didn?t want anyone to misinterpret the gesture.  Probably no more than 45 minutes after the first explosion I saw a medical emergency vehicle with a Long Island address on it headed toward the WTC.  I would have thought that it would have taken at least an hour to get here from Long Island.  They must have left as soon as they heard about the first explosion.

Police, medical emergency and fire truck traffic headed toward the WTC was heavy.  I saw a medical vehicle with a woman driver make a U turn because traffic was blocking her truck.  She drove half a block in the other direction and saw that she would be blocked in that direction also.  So she made another U turn and returned to her original route.  Later, my hope was that she got stuck in traffic long enough to survive the collapse of the towers.

While walking near one of the bridges (I?m not sure if it was the Brooklyn Bridge or the Manhattan Bridge), I experienced one of the few discourteous acts that I saw that day.  A steady stream of people were walking uptown and we were crossing with a traffic light indicating that it was OK to cross.  A man in a fairly new Chrysler PT Cruiser (a car I like) insisted on going against a red light and pushing through the stream of people.  He didn?t hit anyone hard enough to hurt them, but he determinedly pushed right through the pedestrians to get to the bridge.

At about the same place, I saw an extremely small fire truck headed toward the WTC.  I though, what good will a truck that small do with those two huge towers burning?  Days later I saw on TV a mangled, burned fire truck of about that same size being unburied from the debris.  I hoped it wasn?t the same one I saw headed toward the WTC.

I started walking along the East River, but had to get to the West Side when I got to midtown.  So I need to go mostly north, but also west.  I don?t know that part of town, so I was going by dead reckoning.  When I turned west and walked for a while, I noticed that I had inadvertently come a bit backwards and closer to the WTC.  There was a lot of smoke and I mainly looked to see if the communication antenna at the top of the North Tower was still straight up.  It looked to me as if it was.  (It is possible that the South Tower had already collapsed by that time, as the smoke was so heavy that I couldn?t see much of the WTC area.)  But I still didn?t want to see people jumping, so I focused on getting uptown and not spending time looking at the towers.

I saw the WTC area one or two more times as I crossed intersections.  But I glanced only briefly and checked the communications tower.  It seemed perhaps a little tilted, but I figured you should expect that with a bad fire.  One thing that puzzled me was the absence of news helicopters hovering around the towers.  I figured they would be as thick as flies around honey.  Later, I learned that all aircraft had been grounded after the attack.  However, I did see a military jet streak across the area.

I headed northwest through Chinatown and until then didn?t realize how big it was.  It was also the day for primary elections and some voting places were open.   Later, the elections were postponed for two weeks.  I walked past a tavern and at 10:00 or so in the morning the bar was fairly full of people drinking and watching the news.  My thinking was: I hope they don?t have to worry about getting off Manhattan.  Alcohol was the last thing anyone needed at that time.

As I walked north, more and more people appeared walking in the same direction.  I looked for a phone to call Jackie, but every pay phone had several people lined up to make calls.  I wanted to focus on getting off Manhattan, so I kept walking.  A good way to navigate in lower Manhattan is to orient yourself relative to the WTC towers.  At some intersections I looked for them but didn?t see anything.  I thought I should be within sight, but maybe I was too far away.  The truth is that they had probably already collapsed.

From time to time I would pass vehicles, mostly vans, parked at the curb with the side doors open and the radios at high volume on news stations so that people passing by could get updates.  Some stores that sold televisions had them on in the front windows with the volume turned high enough for people walking by to hear.  Usually there would be 10 to 20 people listening.  I heard rumors about the Sears Tower in Chicago being hit, as well as the U.S. capital and other targets.  Some people said as many as eight planes had been hijacked and had been directed at various targets.

As I walked uptown, I worried that I had not shut down the computer in my office.  I figured I would be back soon?possibly the next day--and that it wouldn?t do it any good to be on for that period of time.  I even had a few misgivings about heading home.  What if they put the fires out and the buildings in the area reopen and I don?t show up?    I also had brought a nectarine with me that morning and I wondered if I had taken it out of my book bag.  (I had not, and when I returned several weeks later the book bag was a mess.)

Also, Wiesenberger was scheduled to have a client conference in Baltimore in less than a week.  There was to be a one-hour session on a software capability I managed.  These sessions can be extremely dull, so to make mine interesting, I had planned for a lot of humor to be injected.  As a walked uptown, I figured that after the fires in the WTC, the humor would have to be abandoned.  It didn?t occur to me that the client conference would be called off, which is what happened.

It might sound silly that I really worried about things like a computer not shut down, a nectarine in a book bag and elimination of humor at a presentation, but those things were big on my mind as I walked uptown.

I was well past Chinatown headed uptown when I noticed a bus was headed toward Midtown.  It stopped and I noticed that they were letting people on without tokens (which I didn?t have?nor did I know how much fare was normally required).  I took it, and it turned out that New York City had started the free bus service to get people away from the WTC area.  This was within an hour and a half of the first explosion?amazing responsiveness from the city to get people away from the area and to where they could get home.

I figured my best bets for getting to New Jersey were: 1) PATH subway trains from the 33rd Street station; 2) Jersey Transit trains from Penn Station on 34th Street; or 3) bus service from the Port Authority bus terminal on 42nd Street.

The driver announced that they would stop at 23rd St., 34th St., and then various other stops further uptown.  I figured 34th was my best bet, as it would allow me to check the PATH station and then Penn Station.  So I got off the bus at 34th, turned around and found myself staring right at the Empire State Building.  With all the talk of eight planes being hijacked and rammed into buildings, I figured the Empire State was a potential target.  So I walked to 29th Street and headed toward the West Side.  It was probably around 11:00 and I passed a tiny church on 29th.  I think it was Catholic.  It had a sign out front asking passers-by to stop in and pray for peace.  I wondered if the sign was placed there as a result of the attack.

Also on 29thn Street, I passed by a small restaurant that was just opening.  It looked like it was Indian food, but the staff was speaking Spanish.  They had on a TV tuned to a Spanish station that was showing the disaster.  I phoned Jackie at work.  (For some reason, I didn?t think she would wait at home to hear from me?and I was right.)  The person who answered said it was good to hear from me.  Jackie told me the towers had collapsed.  I really didn?t believe her.  Perhaps the top few stories dumped some materials onto the ground, but I couldn?t imagine both towers collapsing.  I?m not sure when I became fully convinced that they had truly collapsed.  My recollection is that I first saw one of the Trade Center towers collapse on the Spanish TV station as I left the small restaurant.

I walked to 29th &amp; Broadway but decided not to try the PATH train.  For one thing, the station is very close to the Empire State Building.  Also, I didn?t like the fact that one line runs to the WTC and there could be damage or unhealthy fumes.  The 33rd St. line also swings fairly close to the WTC.  So I walked by the Penn Station, which is underground beneath Madison Square Garden.  There were many people outside and I thought perhaps there was a convention in the Garden and they had evacuated it.  But the people were probably waiting for trains, as it turned out Penn Station was closed.

So I walked to the 42nd St. bus terminal and that was also closed.  I figured it could be a long time getting out of Manhattan, but I was alive, so it didn?t bother me too much.  I still saw some election activity from time to time.  I saw a truckload of campaign helpers going somewhere.  I wished that I were on the truck and heading into New Jersey.

I walked down 8th Avenue, where there are fewer tall buildings than in other thoroughfares in the area, figuring I would stop at a police station and ask them my best bet for getting to New Jersey (I knew where a station was located).  Also, I wanted to stay away from crowds and tall buildings.  I found a pay phone next to a motel and called Geoff Frink at Wiesenberger in Maryland.  I asked him to send email to some key people that I was OK and we talked about the disaster.  Geoff is a very down-to-earth guy and I felt better after speaking with him.  I?m not certain that he knew for certain that the towers had collapsed.

Then I phoned Jackie and she said trains had begun leaving Manhattan for New Jersey.  I think by then I believed that the towers had actually collapsed.  I visited the men?s room at the near-by motel and then walked past the bus station, which was still closed.  Then I want to Penn Station and it was still closed.  The crowd was larger in front of it.  So I figured I would just wait until the trains started running.  Somehow I got the idea that it wouldn?t be for a while, so I decided to get ready for a prolonged wait.  My big hope was that the city had to leave the mid-town workers out when they quit in the late afternoon.  But I was prepared mentally to take a couple of days to get home.

If I was going to wait a long time, I wanted something to read?anything.  I had left work without returning to my office and all I had was my wallet, my Thomson ID card and keys.  I would settle for any decent magazine or book.  I just wanted something to read.  It turned out that I had to walk about five blocks before I found a place that sold anything but newspapers.  Finally I found a shop with magazines.  I found two that weren?t either women?s magazines or porno men?s magazines?Time and GQ.  I bought them both, figuring I might have a lot of time to read before leaving Manhattan.  It was getting warm, I had walked a lot and my nerves were shot.  I was becoming quite thirsty.  I thought about buying a big bottle of water or cola, but decided against it.  If I got into a three-hour line for a train, I didn?t want to have to leave the line after two and a half hours to go to the bathroom.  So I thought I could live for a while slightly dehydrated.

I returned to Penn Station and sat down across the street from a person directing things with a bullhorn.  I sat on a ledge next to a bank beneath a big window.  If there was another explosion and the window collapsed, I would be in trouble.  But I was worn out and decided to take that chance.

After sitting there for at least half an hour, I saw a large number of people heading toward the side of Penn Station.  I hesitated for a minute and then decided to follow them.  Several hundred converged by a set of doors.  I asked if these were for trains to New Jersey and they said yes.  We waited about 20 to 30 minutes before the doors opened.  Most of the people were courteous, but one couple seemed to be taking great delight in sneaking closer to the door.  They seemed foreign, with the woman far less then five feet tall and the man not much over five feet.  Also, some guys in their 20s were behind me and were discussing how if you wanted to perform a terrorist attack, ramming airplanes into the WTC was a great idea.  I heard another military jet but couldn?t see it.

When doors finally opened, we filed in a reasonably orderly fashion into the station.  Transit officials did a good job of directing us in the right general direction to get to the trains.  But there were no signs as to which track to take to get to a Newark train.  Along with many others, I made a wrong turn toward a train headed for somewhere else.  Finally, I had a feeling I was going in the right direction and amazingly got onto the first train headed for Newark.

I found a seat at the end of car, where two double seats face each other.  There as an African-American gentlemen, probably in his 60s, in a suit seated in one of the seats.  I sat caddy-corner from him, which is how people normally fill the end seats?two people caddy-corner and two empty seats.  But there was a lot of people and an African-American man probably in his 40s sat next to the man in the suit.  Then a huge (probably well over 300 pounds) African-American woman crowded into the seat next to me.  All of us conversed except for the man in the suit, who seemed extremely sad.  It turned out the woman worked about a dozen blocks north of the WTC and had a clear view of the attack.  She actually saw the second plane ram the South Tower.  It turned out that she was originally from Greensboro, NC, where my daughter Alena lived at the time.  She knew about Guilford College, which Alena attended.  The other man was somewhat difficult to understand.  My conclusion was that he was headed for the WTC when it was attacked and his PATH train got diverted to mid-town.  He made a remark that also qualified for understatement of the century: ?One plane ramming the WTC could be an accident, but two planes hitting the towers so close together was probably a deliberate act.?

I think it helped me to converse with people on the trip.  The conductors didn?t collect tickets (more good reacting by transportation authorities in the area) and everyone on the train broke into applause when we emerged from the tunnel in New Jersey.  I couldn?t believe I was really on my way home until I actually got off the train in Newark station.

The train to Westfield was later than scheduled, but I think Jersey Transit was more interested in getting the most people home rather than keeping a schedule.  After what happened to the WTC, I was just happy to be alive.  It would take a lot to bother me.  Things that seemed like major problems a day before suddenly didn?t seem all that important.  That attitude of  ?only the really big things matter? has persisted in me?possibly the only positive thing to come from the attack.

I got a seat on the train to Westfield and it happened that standing close to me was Ken Lipper, a son of Michael Lipper, who owned the mutual fund information firm at which I worked for eight years.  Ken worked there for a year or two and then joined an insurance company.  Ken and I talked about his father, his brothers, my family, our companies, his family, Westfield (where he also lives), but the conversation always diverted to the WTC disaster.  It turns out Ken also walked to midtown, but went further west than the route I took.  He walked by a hospital and volunteered to donate blood.  He said they graciously thanked him but said there was a line one and a half times around the block of people volunteering blood, so they really couldn?t accept any more.  So he told me he would try again to donate somewhere in the Westfield area.

From the train we could see downtown Manhattan.   There was a lot of smoke there, but no twin WTC towers.  I finally truly believed they had collapsed.  Ken Lipper said he wasn?t going to watch the towers collapse on TV and I agreed that watching it wasn?t a good idea.  But I knew that I would.  Again, the train?s conductors didn?t collect tickets.  The authorities were quick to focus on getting people home rather than worrying about collecting fares.

It was around 4:00 p.m. when I walked home from the station.   I think I called Jackie to tell her I was home safely.  As Jackie cautioned, I took off all my clothes and put them in the garage in case the terrorists had used chemical or biological agents in the attack.  I drank about several quarts of fruit drink and became mesmerized by the TV.  (My remark to Ken Lipper that it probably wasn?t a good idea to watch the buildings collapse on TV didn?t last long.)  I don?t think the major stations covered anything but the WTC disaster for at least four or five days.  I would watch for a while and suddenly it was late at night.  Then I would watch the morning news and suddenly it it would be late afternoon.

When Jackie arrived home on 9/11, one of the first things she did was to look for a flag to put in the front window.

I don?t know when all the facts about the attacks finally came together. It seems like well into the evening of Sept. 11 and even into the next day, news programs seemed certain that the George Washington Bridge was threatened by explosives.

The president of the U.S. was in Florida when the attacks occurred.  The vice president was sent into a secure location and the president was diverted west from Florida because there was news that his plane was targeted by terrorists.  So New York mayor Rudy Guilliani turned out to be the major authority figure to reach the mass media after the attack. He not only did a great job of organizing things in the attack area, but also in communicating things when the federal government wasn?t yet mobilized to issue any statements.  Guilliani had the presence of mind just hours after the attack to say that one thing was certain?it wasn?t done by New Yorkers, so people shouldn?t take revenge on anyone in New York who looked, spoke or dressed differently.  Later, the president said essentially the same thing.

Guilliani later was named Time Magazine person of the year.

I should have phoned work the afternoon of Sept. 11, but I really wasn?t up to it.  I definitely should have called the next morning, but still couldn?t bring myself to do it.  Finally, the president of the company phoned me in the late morning to make sure I was OK.

For a long time, I couldn?t sleep well at all.  I would force myself away from the TV coverage of the disaster around 10:00 p.m. and go to bed.  Most nights I would lie awake until well past 1:00 a.m. and then awaken between 2:00 and 4:00 a.m. and get out of bed as if a giant were grabbing me and pulling me up.

For years I had commuted to the PATH (the subway between NJ and NYC) station in the WTC and had walked through the complex to get to work.  And for a year and a half I had an office in the south tower of the WTC.  So the area was an important part of my life, which added to my depression.

Newspapers ran pages of profiles of people who had died, including photos.  I had one dream where I turned to these pages and the people in the pictures began moving and talking about their experiences.  They didn?t shout or scream or weep, just conversed in a normal voice about their experiences that ended in death during the attack.

I had another dream where someone in New York City was telling me about a big backgammon game that I ought to see.  I wasn?t interested, but followed the person anyway.  He always lead me to the WTC.  The lower portions of the towers looked somewhat like backgammon boards.  It happened again and again.  In another dream, I was wandering down corridors trying different directions at intersections, but the corridor I would choose would have flames at the end.  Even at Halloween, more than a month and a half after the attack, I would dream about pumpkins that would suddenly burst into flames.  I had dreams about the attack for many months.  Many were extremely complex, abstract dreams.

It took me a while to get back into a working mode.  I had committed to writing an article for an e-newsletter.  The day after the attack I decided to make some notes for the article.  I did the same the next day.  At the end of the day (Thursday), I reviewed my work and noted that I had written all of three lines of notes.  My recollection is that finally, on Friday, I used my insomnia to my benefit and wrote the article from about 4:00 a.m. until well into the evening.

The feelings that constantly bothered me were fear and guilt.  Whatever I might be doing at a given moment, I felt guilty that I should be doing something else.  Even when I was working hard (which was when I felt most at ease), I felt guilty that I should be doing some other work.  I also became paranoid to the point where I bought a tape recorder to record conversations I had relating to work.  The paranoia regarding work was compounded by the fact that the company announced a major reorganization the week after the attack.  The economy had been weakening and most economists predicted?correctly?that the attack would push the U.S. into a recession.  I was in my late 50s and getting a new job at that age was next to impossible because of age discrimination.

Regarding my worries from the day of the attack, I learned that all power had gone out in the WTC area, so not shutting off my computer wasn?t a problem.  The client conference was cancelled, so I didn?t have to worry about the comedy I had written into my presentation.  But I did wonder a lot about whether I had removed the nectarine from my book bag?and what the bag would be like if I hadn?t.  The thought turned from a mild worry to a matter to be laughed at.

Because our location was in the official disaster area, it was closed down and I ended up working at home for close to two months.  When I finally returned to the building, I discovered that my fears about the nectarine in the book bag were real.  The nectarine had rotted, but I felt that throwing the bag away would be a victory for the terrorists, so I spent a lot of time cleaning out the bag.

After two or three weeks at home, getting almost no sleep, I called a counseling service provided by my employer.  They suggested I see a doctor to get prescriptions for anxiety, depression and insomnia drugs, which I did.  It was great to finally be able to sleep, but Jackie said that the one of the drugs was causing me to have violent convulsions while asleep.  I had no idea I shaking while sleeping, but Jackie said it was so bad that the bed would bounce around.  I mentioned it to the doctor and he didn?t seem bothered.  It was a side effect of one of the drugs.

I wasn?t alone in needing medication.  Ads for anti-depression drugs started to appear regularly on TV within weeks of the attacks.  I don?t recall seeing them before then.

I don?t recall if it was before or after I started the medication, but I think my low point was one evening in September when it was still daylight until after 7:00 p.m.  In the late afternoon, I said to Jackie: ?It?s six o?clock.  Is it OK for me to put my pajamas on??  She impressed on me the importance of getting onto a regular schedule and I think that was the point where I started to make progress against the depression.  It was slow and very difficult progress and sometimes I felt like just quitting everything I was doing, but to me, that was the low point.  Sometimes the only thought that kept me going was that to quit would be a victory for the terrorists.  I wasn?t alone in that feeling.  Some time after the attack I saw a cartoon of a young boy telling his teacher that if she gave him a bad grade that it would be a victory for the terrorists.

Since the WTC was destroyed, my commute became much more difficult.  Thomson Financial provided van service from the PATH stations a mile or so north of the WTC to our building.  But the vans frequently got snarled in traffic and I switched to walking.

My first day back at work, I got off the subway near city hall, which is four or five blocks from the WTC.  There was still slippery ash on the streets in the area.  There were around seven buildings in the WTC complex.  The two towers and one other building collapsed on 9/11.  But all the buildings were ruined and eventually torn down.  The sight was unbelievable.  The remaining buildings were essentially burned except for their metal frames.  Huge steel girders were twisted by the heat and stress until they looked like they were made out of wet clay.  It was devastation like a bombed-out city.  The dust that was raised by the debris being carried away was foul to breathe.  Even though the Environmental Protection Agency said it was safe, the chemicals in the dust gave many people respiratory problems.  I was catching a cold every two weeks or so.

There were wooden barriers along many of the streets in the WTC area.  A place called the Dakota Bar used them to post countless notices to demolition and debris removal workers that it was the closest place to the disaster site to have a beer?and that its hours of operation were long.  The Dakota had a sign over it, ?We speak local dialects,? and then listed the names of ?local? unions whose members patronized the establishment.

Eventually they had the biggest cranes I have ever seen working on removing the debris.  The cranes must have been 20 stories tall.  Because the WTC went deep into the earth, there were fires burning underground and firefighters with hoses pouring water on the deep fires for three months after the disaster.

A building adjacent to the WTC that was damaged but survived had the biggest flag I have ever seen hanging against its wall that faced the WTC area.  It must have been seven or eight stories tall.  It was inspiring to approach the area and see that flag draped tall over the wreckage.

Demolition and debris removal went 24 hours a day.  There were also huge, extremely bright lights on towering stands illuminating the entire disaster area.  It was eerie walking in near darkness and then approaching this large area that was brightly lit but hazy from all the dust brought up from the debris removal, but containing only wreckage and huge cranes.

In the mornings, I would walk from a PATH station in Greenwich Village to work.  Real flags and images of flags were everywhere.  Most had words such as ?United We Stand,? ?God Bless America? or ?In God We Trust? under them.  Most cars had flags on them and many had more than one.  They flew flags from antennas and had more on windows.  Many had large flag decals on their fenders and doors.  Most freeway overpasses had flags overlooking the roads, along with ?United We Stand? slogans.  In the weeks that followed 9/11, flags and patriotic messages appeared on grocery bags, pizza boxes, restaurant napkins on the sides of subway cars.  A great many homes went with red, white and blue lights to decorate their homes for the holidays.

Next to the Thomson building was St. Paul?s Chapel.  It is a very old church across the street from the WTC, yet it survived with no damage.  On 9/11 and the weeks that followed, it served as the aid and rest station for rescue workers.  In the days that followed the attack, many of NYC?s finest and most expensive restaurants competed with each other to send food to St. Paul?s for the rescue workers.  The WTC became known as ?ground zero? and St. Paul?s became known as ?ground hero.?  The fence around the chapel became full of posters signed by people from around the world supporting the memory of the attack and the victims.  On the ground were many small memorials to individuals, complete with flowers, pictures and mementos.  Walking by was uplifting and extremely sad at the same time.

Also, in the best New York City tradition, the walk from the PATH station to work was always accommodating to pedestrians.  Temporary pipes and huge electrical cables were needed to keep downtown NYC working.  But there were always ramps and wooden walkways for pedestrians.  New York is a ?walking city? and the powers that be made sure people could still walk.

There was an electric utility relay station adjacent to the supermarket we frequently patronized.  A week and a half after the attack we went grocery shopping and an additional temporary relay station was next to the permanent relay station.  Large cables connected the two.  It was gone in a couple of months, so we assumed it was somehow related to the challenge of getting electricity to downtown NYC.

When we started working in the WTC area again, I did my best to try not to add to the depressing atmosphere in the disaster area.  I would smile and wish good morning to police and rescue workers.  But on one of my first days back, while walking to work, two or three blocks from the WTC I saw a NYC fire fighter in full firefighting gear walking down the street with a sad, blank look on his face.  Without a doubt he had lost many friends and perhaps family members among the 383 Fire Department of NY firefighters who died in the disaster.  I couldn?t bring myself to say good morning to him.  I think he wanted to be in his own sad world at that time.

Police officers and firefighters gained new status and appreciation.  Some NYC actresses and female personalities started dating firefighters on a regular basis.  On a popular network late-night comedy, the host, Jay Leno, was interviewing audience members.  He asked one?s occupation and when the person said he was a policeman, the audience spontaneously broke into long, loud, happy applause.
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              <text>I am usually up by 5:00 a.m. every morning and the first thing I do after taking a shower is turn on the KTLA Morning News.  On 9/11/01 I had just turned on the television and within maybe 10 minutes Emmett Miller, the anchorman, began reporting the breaking news - an airplane has just crashed into the World Trade Center.  What a tragic event was my first thought.  Within minutes of the breaking news, they had live pictures.  I remember looking at the television and thinking "Oh my God, I hope no one was hurt."  Of course, it took me a few seconds to realize that I was looking at New York and they were three hours ahead!  I looked at my clock and it was almost 6:00 a.m. - 9:00 a.m. in New York.  My heart sank - I started asking myself "What day is it today?  Oh my God, is it a weekday?"  I sat on my bed and just watched - absolutely horrified.  Then the unimaginable:  as the anchorman is talking about the smoke coming from one of the Towers he notices the second airplane and says to his co-anchor, "Do you see that airplane?  Isn't it flying kind of low?  Boy, that plane is too low. . ."  I will never forget the look on his face as the camera cut away from the live feed and went back to the anchor desk.  For just a moment, I thought he was going to faint.  I fell to my knees and began crying.  I kept telling myself that it must be some sort of mistake.  These things do not happen in America.  How in the world could TWO airplanes make such a horrible mistake?  I watched the second plane hit on live television.  It was something I wished I had not ever seen, I was in a state of shock. I kept waiting for someone to say it was a joke, or a hoax - but that report never came.  I ran to the phone and called my boss who is from New York.  I was concerned because I knew his sister worked in Manhattan.  I was greeted with a very unhappy grunt and I said to him, "Ron, it's me - tell me your sister doesn't work in the WTC."  He quickly asked me if I was nuts and why am I calling him so early in the morning.  I yelled to him to turn on his television.  Reluctantly he did - and I could hear the sobs coming from the other end.  Thankfully, his sister didn't work there - her office was on the other side of Manhattan.  

I think about 9/11 all the time.  Every time I wask out the door I make sure that I remembered to kiss everyone goodbye.  I work in a high rise and think all the time "What if that happened to me?"  God Bless America.
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              <text>     One year ago, an unexpected moment in history came, that nearly knocked the world off its axis.  I was living the typical life of a teenager.  It was the second week of school at West Springfield High School and I was in class from 7:30 AM to 2:15 PM.  That Tuesday morning, I was in chemistry class, learning the basics about the physical and chemical properties of matter.  Class ended around 9:08 AM and I set off for my next class, which was band.  As I approached the double doors leading to the classroom, I happened to glance through the windows.  All of my schoolmates, my friends, and my teacher, were huddled around the television with looks of horror across their faces.  I walked into the room and saw that that the tallest structure in the world was up in flames.  I had no idea no idea what was happening and I heard someone say 'what kind of an idiot would fly near the World Trade Center-it's a no fly zone'.  We were all shocked.  As I continued to stare at the TV in disbelief, a jetliner entered from the side of the screen, slamming into the other twin tower.  Then it hit me-this was not an accident.
     Tears streamed down many people's faces in fear of what was next and in terror of what had just happened moments before.  Then Dan Rather, of CBS News, brought to us more breaking news.  A plane that had taken off from Dulles Airport, headed for California, had left its course, and was used as a missile to ruin a portion of the Pentagon.  The whole room gasped.  West Springfield is located about twenty miles from Washington, D.C., and it became a reality for something like this to happen in our own backyard.  Many of my friends had parents or relatives who worked at the Pentagon, and they spent countless hours on the phone lines only to get busy signals, and to not know where their loved ones were or if they were okay.  Several minutes later, we heard that a fourth jetliner left its course and crashed into a field in rural Pennsylvania.  All I wanted to do at that point was go home.  I spent the rest of the day praying that my family was okay and wanting to go home and shut everything out.  Around 1:45 PM my mom came and picked me up out of Algebra 2 class and I learned that all of my family was okay.  It was the greatest feeling in the world.
     In the days following the attacks, we found out that Osama bin Laden and the al Qaeda networks in Afghanistan, were responsible for the acts of terror against the United States.  We were also able to learn that the plane that went down in Pennsylvania not only crashed, but was brought down by a group of heroes.  Those on the plane were apparently aware of the terrorist attacks going on in Washington and New York.  They knew that either way, they were going to die too, and they didn't want to ruin more innocent people's lives.  In an act of heroism, the pilots of the plane were able to take the plane down without killing anyone else.  Pilot Beamer's last words, that ring in American's ears, were "Let's Roll".
     From the September Eleventh tragedies, I learned a lesson about the important things in life.  I learned to be thankful for what I have and to not take anything for granted.  I learned that there is nothing more important than the love and prayer you give and get from your family and friends.  And I learned to live every day to the fullest.  Treat every day like it is your last and find a way to be a hero.</text>
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              <text>My September 11 recollections;

I was in the USA and New York for the first time.  I am an Australian who works for a funds manangement company in Sydney.

At 8.51 a.m. on September 11, 2001, I was sitting in a room on the ground floor of the World Trade Centre Marriott Hotel. I was attending the National Association of Business Economists Conference. 

When the first plane hit, all I felt was a dull thud, then a moment later the sound of a seemingly distant explosion. I thought it was earthquake as the lights and tables shook. Within moments, people headed for the doors, running for their lives.

I didn?t recall it at that moment, but it wasn?t the first time the complex had been the object of a terrorist attack. Within a minute or two, there were only three of us left in the room. We wandered out to see what had happened.

As I entered the hotel lobby, dishevelled and frightened people streamed into the foyer, seeking shelter. They were in shock, and some had obviously been injured by falling debris and burning jet fuel from the the first plane.

I didn't really know what was going on but was due to fly out to San Fransico that afternoon.  I went to a lift to go to my room on the sixth floor and retrieve my luggage. But the alarms were sounding, and I was refused entry and politely asked to leave the hotel.

Around 9.00 a.m., I exited through a bar facing Liberty Street. As I went, I was greeted by a shower of burning paper swirling in the wind.  Everything in sight was strewn with rubble, debris and burning cars.

I walked into Liberty Street and across West Street , between the two World Financial Centre buildings about 200 metres away, and looked back to where smoke belched from the  North Tower. Beneath the smoke were the deep orange flames.  I simply did not know what was going on or what had happened.  Traffic had stopped and the air was filled with the sound of sirens.

As I stood alone looking up I beacme aware of a low flying jet. It kept coming closer and banked towards the towers. The roar of the jet was deafening. 

Flames, smoke and glass erupted. Bodies and debris were blown out of the building and rained down on the street.

From that moment, I did not look back. It was time to get away. My mind raced: Were more planes coming? Where would safety be found?

I?d taken the Staten Island ferry from Battery Point, about 700 metres south, on the previous Saturday, so I fast-walked to the wharf. It seemed the best alternative at the time. There I joined thousands of others attempting to escape the choas and whatever else might be about to follow. 

Just as the ferry boarding gates opened, behind me came a thunderous noise.  People screamed. I thought the city was being attacked yet again, and this time I thought I might die. It was the South Tower collapsing. As people took their places on the ferry, smoke, ash and dust billowed toward us, enveloping us. People donned life jackets.

As a Christian I thought I would be welcomed if knocked on the door of a church in Staten Island and asked for help. But amazingly, a complete stranger standing near me on the ferry asked me and three other strangers to join her family at their home until things were sorted out. Her name was Leslie Castelucci. The Casteluccis and their neighbours gave me clothing and took me in as if I were a  member of their family. I still weep as I remember her act of kindness.


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              <text>Egad

I found out on the way back home this morning from a friend's house. On NPR. At 0930. Washington was hit by an AA jet -- the Pentagon.

I left the windows open when I was driving. I drove across town twice today, once from Dupont at 0930 and once at around 1130.

Each cross street was dangerous because there was a cascade of Emergency vehicles. I left the doors open because of Emergency vehicles as well as cop cars. I kept my windows open because people were blowing through stoplights and stop signs.

Union Station is locked down. When I dropped Isa off there, all trains were ceased and Jersey Barriers. The sky was and is clear, bright blue, and earily quiet.

There is not a plane in the sky. 

Southwest of here, there is a waft of dark smoke. I assume it is the Pentagon.

All the roads out of town are gridlocked and I am hoping that there is not a second round.

The entire city is evacuated. There have been many revisions of what had happened: car bomb at the State Dept., Old Executive Office Building on fire. Something going on at the White House.

Right now, the skyline of Manhattan is completely different and Washington a panicked and ornery.

The Pentagon is still partially collapsed and the full extent of the attack -- the force of its ripple; the reaction to a definite action -- is still to be revealed. Is everyone okay? Is Anne and her fianc? Ian okay? Others in Gov't and Finance?

Well, I know that Mark, Michelle, Diane, Cheryl, Suzi, and Kate are okay. How about the rest of you. Lots of love and Godspeed!</text>
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              <text>    Well, I was in history in 8th.. We were taking a test.. A teacher came over and told my teacher that a plane had hit the world trade center.. He immediately turned the T.V on and just as he did the second plane hit.. 

    When the second plane hit it was the worst thing in the world.. We watched it and could not believe our eyes.. After a few minuntes of watching it, the plane that was heading to Washington came down on to the Pentagon.. 

    As we were watching the news, the lights went out in the school.. It was so scary.. They made us go under our desk and sit there.. A lot of parents came and got their childern.. Well that is my story of post September 11, 2001..
                       GOD BLESS AMERICA
Jasmine</text>
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As I stood there, observing the effects on the first building, that's when the second plane rammed the second building. I had just tuned in and still thought that the first plane was a horrible accident, when I witnessed the second plane smash the other building. I'm glad I was alone, because I spoke aloud, "What the #@$!" It took me a minute to figure it all out. I couldn't wrap my mind around it. How could any human being think of such a thing? 
The mood in the plant was one of shock, and soon one of fear. The plant I worked at was once considered on the top ten list of aggression targets. New York wasn't far from where we were. Like those who worked in the Sears Tower, the Seattle Space Needle, or other such places, we were fearful. Unlike many places considered high risk in the U.S., we were not evacuated. I spent the rest of that work day going back and forth between the only nearby window, and hovering over the T.V. It was one of the longest days of my life.</text>
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              <text>History in the Making

By: Nick Mullins



	Confused?Waiting?Wondering. What?s going to happen? Who did it? Where was it? Are we going to be all right? All of these thoughts went through my head as I watched the horrible tragedy on 9/11. It was history in the making.

	I remember that day as if it were yesterday. I was in Spanish class when I first heard the terrible news. Everyone in the class went crazy. They all had some kind of worried look on their face, even the teachers. Some students were even crying. Even I was put in shock when I heard the news. It was hard to believe that anything like this could happen. For the rest of the class I sat in horror watching the television.

	It hurt some people more than others. I wasn?t as worried as some of the other students, basically because I knew God wouldn?t let anything happen to me. I still couldn?t get over the fact that this was really happening. I remember I was most concerned about my mom because she worked at the capitol, and I thought that the terrorists were going to bomb every state capitol building. Other than that, I wasn?t that concerned.

	9/11 affected many different people in many different ways. One way it affected me was it made me closer to my family. 9/11 made me think of what if there was no tomorrow. I would never be able to get as close to my family as I want to be.

	So in conclusion, I think 9/11 will be one of the most memorable days of all time. Everyone will remember the day that America changed in good ways and in bad. You should think about what if you didn?t get the chance to say good-bye. So the last words won?t be, ?I wish I would have done this, I wish I would have done that, I wish, I wish.? 
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              <text>On September 11, 2001, I was at work teaching math at a high school on Long Island's East End.  

I heard about the attacks during a fire drill and listened to radio reports throughout my prep period.  For the next three class periods I didn't know the extent of the terror.  Announcements were being made over the PA system telling students not to leave the building, that we were now a closed campus.  Parents were beginning to arrive to pick up their children. 

It wasn't until my lunch period (about 12 noon)that I was able to get to a television and watch as the events replayed before my eyes.  I was horrified to think that this could happen to our country.  I began to worry about my family (NYC EMS and USAF) and friends who live and work in Manhattan.

During my next class i calmly told the students what I knew of the events of the day explaining that the skyline that made New York City distinguished, had changed.  They asked serious questions about the future and war.

Then, once they were satisfied, they asked to be taught.  The majority of the students wanted normalcy.  So i instructed them to take out their books and turn to page 31.  Let's begin with problem #1.  I read  "Of the tallest buildings in the United States three are in Chicago...three others are in New York City: the Empire State building, the World Trade Center... and I had to stop.  We all looked at each other not knowing what to say or think or do.  We closed our books a nd remained in quiet contemplation for the remainder of the class period.

Peggy Sciommeri
Math Teacher
Riverhead High School
Riverhead, New York</text>
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              <text>Sept 11th, my husband never came home to me. Lt Robert Cirri, of the Port Authority Police Dept went through the Holland Tunnell at 9:15am with a team from the PAPD police academy. He called me from a police phone at my job as a nurse and said "Im here. I got to help get people out. I love you so much and I will call you as soon as I can".
I waited. I watched. I knew he was in tower one. at 10:29am, Tower One fell &amp; NEVER did I think I was a brand new widow.
I wanted to go volunteer as an RN, but my mom told me to think of the kids, dont go &amp; wait for Bob to call me back as promised. I thought I saw ripts place him in floorshim on TV at noon in front of St Vincents hospital..it was another police Lt.
Then the Port Authority called...I was told he was MIA--missing in action. I dont remember much more of that entire week.
On Feb. 9, 2002, my husband's body was found with 5 other PAPD officers, 70 ft below ground, 10-20feet from an emergency exit door. They were carrying a woman out in a stairchair. she had needed oxygen. Radio transmissions indicate that he was on 20's floors. Im so proud of him. and I am lonely every night for him. My best friend--my soul mate--my security blanket. We were to grow old together. He was funny, loved children, loved helping people (he was a paramedic as well). I will never have that type of love again. Just one more hug &amp; kiss please.</text>
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              <text>Around 9am I was sitting at my desk and I heard someone say that a plane had hit on of the WTC.  I told a co-worker of mine and she kinda "pshawed" it like it was a small plane.  I had a really bad feeling and said, "Bet it's terrorists. How do you accidentally hit the WTC???" And that was the end of the conversation.  I had training at 9:30am and went in like normal, nothing else had been mentioned.  At 10am our VP came in to tell us that the WTC's had been hit, along with the Pentagon, the State Building, and they were evacuating the Chrysler Building (mind you this was in the early stages and noone knew what the hell was going on!!!).  I immediately thought that this was an automatic declaration of war and started having a panic attack, worrying about all the victims, their families, my family, and friends, and just the world in general. Some of my co-workers who were National Guard got phone calls that they had to leave. How naive was I to think that this could never happen?  How naive were we all? We left work early that day and as I was driving home whenever I stopped at a stop light I would look over at the next driver and feel a sense of helplessness from them just as they could probably feel from me. I still had not seen a TV and had no real sense of what was going on, I was listening to the radio completely astonished. When I finally made it home I saw what had happened and could not believe it.  Although I knew noone in NY, DC or PA I felt an unbelievable pain in my chest all I could think was that my heart was breaking for these people.  Everyday for weeks I cried, my heart still breaks over and over again for the victims, the families and our nation.  Even sitting here 11 months later writing this I feel very overwhelmed.........</text>
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              <text>My name is Judy Bagdassarian and I am from South Hackensack, New Jersey.  On the morning of September 11th, 2001 I was at my job in Montvale, New Jersey working at my desk.  I had my radio on and tuned in to 95.5 WPLJ when an announcement came over the radio that a airplane had crashed into the World Trade Center.  I immediately went around the office to relay what had happened.  Of course, at that time I was thinking that this was a terrible accident.  As I continued to listen to the radio I remember the DJ's talking about the accident and relaying feedback from news people and others.  Starting to realize the magnitude of what had just happened.

Then I will never forget one of the DJ's, Todd Pettingil saying "another plane has crashed into the other tower and that New York is under attack".  Those words to the day echo in my mind so clearly and still send numbness through my body.

After countless hours of watching telivision that week it was so emotionally draining.  But, I guess I needed to know as much about the unfortunate people and their families.  I believe it helped me to deal with my own saddness.

Now 1 year later I find myself with the same emotions that I felt last year.

To all that have lost, I hope you can find some comfort in the future with the help of your loved ones to lean on.

And may terrorism never show its ugly face again.


Judy Bagdassarian

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              <text>Good morning,

This is our story, and remember this is only one of eight millon, and by far not the sadest one.
Chris and I were getting dressed and saw on the news that the world trade center was on fire.
We grabbed our camera and headed for the roof, as we were looking at the north tower burning I was taking picture when the second jet hit the south tower.  Until this point we thought it was a horrible accident, and then we got scared. Someone else came up to the roof with a transistor radio saying they hit DC also.  We did not know what to do, thinking this is an attack on New York and where is the next hit going to take place.  As the two buildings were burning F16 started flying over head, Chris and I went back downstairs and saw on TV what looked like the south tower gone, but with all the smoke and dusk it looked invisible.  We gathered our most valuable possessions, some jewelry and photos and then we went back up on the roof only to see the north tower collapse.  At this point, there was about 25 or 30 people on all the roofs around our building.  People started scremming and crying.  The smoke was so thick that you could not tell where the towers used to be, hoping as it cleared here and there that they would still be there.
We went out and got food and money, and the exodus had already started.  1st Avenue was like a parking lot and the sidewalks packed with people, both the cars and people were covered with dusk.  Our phones were out, so we could not be reached or contact friends or family.  Chris? sister had a conference scheduled for today the 13th at Windows of the World on the 107th floor of the world trade center, her brother-in-law takes the subway which goes under the trade center.  We could not reach then and it was scary.  Later, we found them, and because all traffic and brigdes were closed (they live in Brooklyn) they came over until the subway was running.  After they headed to Brooklyn, we went to give blood, but so many people had already giving blood they had no more supplies to hold the blood.  New Yorks can be hard people, but they can also have the biggest hearts.
Yesterday I went to work with Chris, usually there?s about 30 people there, but yesterday there was only 5 some of them lost loved ones
, Giuliani said to stay home if you can and with all the bridges and tunnels closed no one could get in anyway.  I walked around Times Square yesterday and it was like a ghost town, As Chris and I walked home the smoke got heavy, the wind has mostly been blowing southeast, but last evening it switched northeast which is in our direction, we are about a mile and a half from the towers. Our neighborhood is completely blocked off by the police, we have to show ID?s to get below 14th Street, which is kind of scary (big brotherish), but you do feel a little safe, I think.
Now, today the 13th  it?s still like a ghost town below 14th street, just police cars, truck, and ambulances with sirens on. Every ambulance that goes by all you can do is hope it?s a survivor they got out.
People keep calling the police saying there are bombs all over the city, causing the police and army to close down all the land marks and streets.
The smkoe is getting heavy again.
I feel so bad L, it?s so sad.
Take care and hud the ones you love because you never no.
Love Robert
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              <text>The morning of September 11, 2002, I was getting ready for school when my husband came in and told me that a plane crashed into the Trade Building.  I started watching the news and listening to hear if it was an accident. 

Soon after tuning in to the news, the second plane hit the other Trade building. Too me, this was no accident. It was a scary thought.  Why would someone do this? I asked this question to myself over and over again.

Sadly, a third plane hit the Pentegon. At this point I was extremely horrified.  I thought for sure Chicago was next!  I left school early this day and drove around gathering my thoughts.  I was still asking myself that same question, Why?

It is difficult to fathom how someone could carry out such a sick terrorist act.  September 11th was a sad day for America.  It showed how evil could stike even a country as great as ours and make us all vulnerable. 

I prayed for the victims who lost their lives and for their families, friends, and loved ones. I especially prayed for the survivors to stay calm and let their hearts heal.  I prayed that people, as well as myself, would find answers and hopefully take that information and make some kind of significant change in the world - for the better.  

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              <text>I was sitting at my desk, having a cup of coffee and surfing the news wires on Sept. 11, 2001 when I saw a AP News Alert. I always open them, but when I did I read: "Plane hits World Trade Center."

We usually have CNN on in our newsroom all day, but for some reason the TV wasn't on. I walked out to the TV, turned it on, just in time to see smoke pouring out of Tower 1. I went to my publisher's office and told him the news. He flipped on his TV and after a few moments, we witnessed the second plane hitting Tower 2. "One might be accident, but two can't be," I told him. "I'll start calling people in."

I don't why, but I instinctively knew that this would be the biggest day of my 9-year career in journalism. After a few other stops, I went back to the newsroom, where a small group of employees from various departments had gathered to watch the events unfold. It was as quiet as I have ever heard it. The phone - which rings non-stop during the day - didn't ring. The fax barely moved.

I remember going into my office, closing the door and thinking of those who were dead or in harm's way. I hit my knees and prayed for them and for the strength to lead my staff and family. When I came out, my phone started ringing - first, my wife, then fellow news staffers wanting to know what we were doing.

I told my wife we would be OK and that she shouldn't expect me to be home tonight or maybe for a few days. My employees I told to come in and we'd sort things out later.

The rest of the day was a blur, except for one moment. I went home to change clothes after we put out an extra edition, at about 6 p.m. I hugged my wife and 1-year-old daughter. I thought about how oblivious she was to everything that was going on - and how I wish I could be the same way.

I went back to work and put out another paper, this one a special morning edition, and at about 4 a.m. Sept. 12, I was finally free to go home. I decided not to clean off my desk, but stopped before I switched off my lights. Moving over to my desk, I found that same cup of coffee I poured nearly a day earlier. I realized the magnitude of what had happened. I realized we would soon be at war. And I realized that many families lost their leaders on that day.</text>
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              <text>         On 9/11/01 i was in school just like any other day 
i came to school and went to work in my shop class, when i was working my teacher herd another teacher talking about a attack in new york. I thought yeah okay anyway and went back to work. well after lab i went to my math class and when i got in there my teacher had the telivision on and i looked at it and it was a view of new york city and the twin towers. I didn't have anything to say for the first time in my life. After that i went to lunch and told a couple of friends. It was around noon and some people still didn't now about it. i couldn't believe it but they soon found out different. till this day it is hard for me to believe the realisticness of that day, but i do believe. i never looked at america like the way i do now due to that day. this is my story of that day.</text>
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              <text>This is an account of what I was doing and how I felt then and how I feel now.

I was at work getting ready to do my morning routine, morning pep talks, check supplies, go to the bank, etc. My wife called me to tell me that one of the World Trade Center towers had been hit by a plane or something or bombed. I said "wow!" I hung up after a few minutes and told everybody what happened. It didn't effect us at that time but I still turned on a radio just to see what was going on.

A little while later we heard about the second plane crashing into the second tower. We were all stunned and speachless. One of us asked what the hell was going on but no one had an answer. My wife called again and confirmed what we heard.

Shortly after the initial shock wore down I started feeling sad for all the lost lives and their families. I continued my routine. I was driveng to the bank while the radio spoke of possible terrorist attacks and then The Pentegon was struck by yet another plane. At that time I knew that terrorists had to be involved, possibly Saddam Hussein, and my sadness turned into hatred as I thought that this was going to turn into Round 2. 

It was now time for me to mentally prepare myself for deployment. You see I am a member of the Alabama National Guard in an infantry unit. I am also a Desert Shield/ Storm Veteran. 

When I heard that any plane that doesn't land will be shot down and about the actions of the heros of Flight 93 I felt so much pride, sadness, fear, and so many other emotions that I didn't know what to think.

After I listened to radio reports all day and closed up shop, I went home and watched as much coverage as I could. Again, I was saddened, to tears and sobs this time, and even more so when they talked about Flight 93. I backed The President in all of his decisions for "a war against terror" and was ready to do whatever he asked of me as a soldier.

On October 3rd I received the phone call I'd been expecting. Two days later I was rolling out, leaving my family behind, knowing only that I'd be gone for a year, possibly two. This was not my first deployment with my wife, but this time was differant, I have young children who don't quite understand what's going on. Even I didn't.

You grow up knowing that we are the World Superpower, and you see terrorism going on all over the world, except here. Then all of a sudden it has happened in your own back yard. How do you explain that?

We got our orders the next day. My company was going to be close to home providing homeland security, an equally important mission as the one overseas against terrorism.

Fortunatly, nothing has happened where I'm stationed, maybe we're doing a good job with our assignment.

On September 11, 2002 as I wathced some of the evening T.V. comemerations, news stories, and such, I sat on the couch and cried again as the hatred swelled up inside of me again. A car passed me on the road earlier in the afternoon. On it's rear window was written "'LET'S ROLL!' - FLIGHT 93." Tears swelled in my eyes.

I'll be deactivated soon, my mission complete and I'll be back with my family on a regular basis again. I wish I could have done more, but who knows what the future holds for me. May God forgive me for all of the hatred that I hold in my heart for all terrorists.

Thank you, for reading my story.</text>
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