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              <text>In order to save a teacher his position I agreed to be a daily substitute teacher for the school term. It was period two, and I was teaching about nine Chinese immigrants English as a Second Language 101. We practiced with: " Hello, what is your name?," "My name is..." Since it was such a beautiful, crystal clear day, I chose to teach the kids, "Today the weather is beautiful!" The kids were copying stuff from the blackboard as I stood by the window admiring the crystal clear blue sky.

I heard a loud noise, like a plane taking off and suddenly I saw a big jet that appeared to be headed straight at me. I recoiled. When I came to my senses, I thought that the plane was in trouble or something, as it was flying so low. Initially I thought it was making an emergancy landing, and I hoped it would attempt to land in the Hudson River in order to save lives. I tried hard to look inside the windows as it flew past the school building. It seemed very calm inside, I figured the passengers must be praying.

But the the plane picked up speed and steadied its course. It appeared that it would fly right into the twin Chatham Towers apartments at Confuscious Square down in Chinatown, but it stepped up its speed, and I thought the pilot regained control, and had to ascend in order to avoid the tall buildings, especially the World Trade Center building that it turned and flew towards. I crossed my fingers, hoping it would manage to fly between the buildings, but it it the North Tower directly.

It looked as though it isintegrated into glass fragments as it penetrated the building, but I saw it parked there, the tail black and sitting inside the black hole, then came the crash sound and I glanced over at my students. They were still copying from the board. I turned quickly back to the site and saw the fireball. I exclaimed, "Did you hear that?! Oh my goodness!, an American Airlines 757 just crashed into the World Trade Center!" the kids said "Whaa.." as they exited their seats to see what I was looking at. The black smoke began to pour out of the building. The Kids exclaimed, "WOW!" and were laughing. I retorted, "This is horrible. Do you realize hundreds of people have just been killed?!!" 

I walked over to look out of the classroom door to tell an adult to inform the principal. An English teacher was coming down the hall. I exclaimed to her, "My God, Laura, an American Airlines 757 just flew into the World Trade Center!" She continued walking towards the library, holding her cup of coffee and not bothering to look. I heard later that she announced to the library that I must be on drugs, because of what I told her. 

Since we had front row seats, and I knew this would be an historic event, I permitted all of my classes to view the disaster. Thank goodness we were too far away to see people dying,because it appeared so clearly I wondered if it could have been a computer game. It was the most memorable witnessing in my life and it has haunted me every day since.</text>
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              <text>Today is 8/10/04.   I now work on 54th and 3rd, the last 2 weeks have brought back alot of memories of 9/11/01 because of the recent terror plots, especially the one at the Citigroup building, which is right next door to where I work. 

On 9/11/01, I was working at 4 NY Plaza on Water St.  I had just graduated college in May and was living at home with my parents in Westchester.  So, I was commuting everyday back and forth via the Metro North and the 4/5 subway line.  That day at the Croton-Harmon train station, The train that I normally take was cancelled.  It was already 5 min latel. I was all the way down by where the front of the train would have arrived.  If you know Grand Central, to be in the front is the best because you get out the quickest and beat everyone else that gets off the train and heads for the subways.  Well, that day being in front was the worst.  A woman comes over the loud speaker and says "the only train to get on is coming on the next ramp over in less than a minute." I knew that the train she was referring to was the one that is coming from Poughipsee(can't spell), so you know its gonna be packed.  Basically, I had to run to the stairs and cross on the bridge to the next track.  I luckily made it on the train and had to stand packed in it with so many people for an hour.  In my head, I was saying how this day could really not get any worse.  I'll call this part of my morning "Round 1".

"Round 2"  I finally arrive at Grand Central.  That day was extremely hot and humid.  For some idiotic reason I decide to wear black pants and a blue sweater.  An outfit that is much better suited for fall.  Anyway I get out of the train and start to head for the 4/5 subway line downtown.  I'm already pissed that I'm late.  Its probably 8:15.  I liked to get to my job before 8:30. I was working at JP Morgan Chase, where my job was all about overtime so the earlier I got in the better. Needless to say by 8:15 I'm usually already on a subway.  As I'm walking to the subway, the ENTIRE HEEL of my shoe comes off. I couldn't believe it.  How could this be happening.  So instead of stopping, I decided to keep walking and i'll figure it out on the subway.  I had my gym bag with me, so once on the subway I put on my sneakers.  A guy next to me goes "that sucks".  I was like tell me about it.  Now that I have my sneakers on, my next step is to figure out what I was going to do about my footwear.  I couldn't go to work with no shoes.  I remembered when I was interviewing at Lehman Brothers at the World Financial Center there was a bunch of shoe stores.  I decided I'll get off at the Fulton St. stop, which is where you would get off to go to the WTC.  Don't ask me why I got off there.  Still till this day it makes no sense.  Now in my head I've already told myself that its okay that I'm not at work by 8:30am, but I have to get there by 9am, so I better do this quick.  I get off and I'm so panicked and pissed. I see a shoe store I run in and buy a pair of shoes. 

*Something I have to note right now is that I cannot remember the name of the store I went to.  Its a big chain, and my mind is going blank, which on 9/11 is exactly what happened.  At one point I could not even remember my own telephone number.*  

Anyway,  Its now probably around 8:40-8:45ish.  I get back on the subway and then get off at my stop Bowling Green.  I exit the subway to see a bunch of Fire trucks and ambulance trying to get up the packed street to go North.  Again in my head all I kept saying "what now, this can't get much worse, its not even 9am."  I then see confetti kind of stuff coming down.  I didn't even care at this point. I was so pissed, I ignored it and walked into my building.  I get in, I'm telling my friend about my day, when one guy I work with is on the Bloomberg machine and said that some plane hit one of the world trade center towers. We all pictured a little prop plane, some idiot crashed it.   My dad was working in World Trade Center 7, so I decided to call him and see if he knew what was going on.  He didn't answer.  For some reason my body was already shaking and I couldn't get it to stop.  I didn't think it was anything big, but my body was not feeling right. I didn't really smoke cigarettes, but I tell my friend I need one.  So we go down stairs and have a cigarette and another girl I work with comes running to the building pale white and said a huge plane just hit the tower. I was like "oh yeah we heard about that" and she was like, "no another".  Now I'm freaked.  I now think of my father.  I go back up to my desk and have 5 new messages.  All from friends that work in midtown, not my father. I couldn't get through the messages fast enough.  I call my dad again. Still nothing...i'm getting really F****ing nervous.  People are calling me. Not to be rude, but no one I needed to be talking to at that time.  Friends that wanted to see if I was okay because I worked downtown. I knew I was, so I just kept saying don't call me right now I need to get in touch with my Dad.  I call my mom at the school she works at and the secretary lady was like, "she's in the nurse's office".  My heart dropped.  I thought the worst had happened.  I thought that she already found out my Dad was hurt or something.  I started hysterical crying and looked up to see 3 co-workers who I hardly knew at that time staring at me.  I wanted to get out of my office so quick.  My sister calls me from midtown to see if I'm alright and I'm like "what's going on?" she's like, "I dont know."  I asked her if she's spoken to our Father and she said no.  Now I'm freaking.  My other line then rings and its my Brother.  He's like I'm coming to get you. I was like you work in midtown.  He said, "No, I work on John St. (across from the Trade Center)".  I asked if he spoke to our dad, and he said, "yes".  I felt relieved.  He said that he was leaving his building and was going to the car and that he wanted myself and my brother to meet him there.

*Another little side note about my brother. He's changed jobs so many times since he's graduated college its impossible to know where he's working. He had just started that job on 9/10.  Needless to say, he stayed at that job for only a few months.*

While on the phone now with my brother and sister who I have conferenced in. I'm telling my brother to just go home. To tell you the truth I wanted off Manhattan and wanted my family to just run and be safe.  Meeting up sounded so hard and scary.  It meant that I had to go up by the WTC in order to get to my dad's car, and I just wanted to run into the river and swim to Brooklyn.  My brother refused and said he promised our father that he'd come down to me and get me and then us 3 will meet up where ever we could with the car.  My brother gets off the phone, and me and my sister stay on and are talking.  I was so scared to be by myself. I didn't trust anyone I worked with and just kept feeling so alone.  I had no functioning skills at this point.  My memory was gone.  I could hardly talk.  I always thought that if I was in a panic situation, I would rise to the occassion. The exact opposite happened. I was a panic mess. It was the scariest feeling to be losing so much control of yourself.  I just wanted to be on drugs or in a mental institution. In my head that whole day, I kept thinking about what I was going to be like if I did survive.  Where could I live. No where seemed safe.  

"Round 3" My Dad calls me.  I conference my sister.  Were all talking and I'm begging him to go home. He's now at his car and is by a phone at the garage.  I write down the number. It was chicken scratch.  Not readable, and not usable.  He said he will meet my brother and I wherever he can.  Just keep calling the number and let him know where we are.  Then the 1st tower falls.  My dad sees it all.  I've never heard such horror in my father's voice.  As the building is falling it goes south by me.  My building is shaking as my father is yelling "oh my god, oh my god".  I look out of my cubicle and see a huge dark cloud of "death"  coming full speed to my building.  Our lights are flickering, I'm yelling, my sister is yelling on 48th and 8th (underneath her desk).  Now my dad is getting nervous about my brother and where he is, because he knew that he was in the street coming to get me.  I just wanted this to end.  I'm now hearing that the pentagon is hit.  I turn to someone is listening to me on the phone and I say, "are we under attack".  And she said, "yes, we are".  I then get a call on my other line a few minutes later from the security and its my brother and he's in the lobby.  I go back to my other line and tell my dad and sister, that my brother's here and I'm going to go down.  They are now evacuating my building.  They have everyone in the hallway.  And the elevators are shut off. I turn to someone and say, " I have to get downstairs, my brother's down there, where are the stairs".  He points to the door. I think to myself how I don't want to go by myself, and then make the decision to just go.  I'm so scared because when I shut the door behind me and checked it again it was locked.   I run down the stairs and make it to the bottom. I go to open the door, no clue where I am, and ITS LOCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I start yelling and banging on the door.  I'm so scared because I didn't know if anyone was there.  Some one hears me and comes to the door and says to whoever they're with, "there's someone behind the door." I'm like, "Let me out".  The woman says, " I have to find someone with a key don't move."  A few minutes later a security guard comes and unlocks the door.  I realized, the door I had chosen let me out at the mail room.  I don't think I thanked anyone, I was kind of embarrased.  I just ran to the lobby.  I get there and see my brother. I felt safer but now I was scared to leave my building.

"Round 4" I turn to my brother and said " I need drugs, or am I on them already." He was like, "You need to stay calm because I'm freaking out.' I told him the tower fell and he said he didn't know what it was.  Everyone started yelling, "run its a bomb, they're shooting" so he just ran.  I told him I was scared to leave right now because outside was a huge black cloud of sout and crap.  People were coming into my building completely covered. It didn't look safe to even breathe.  I said I have Dad's number. As everyone knows cell phones did not work that day, so we go to the pay phones and I take the # out of my pocket.  Could not read it at all.  I had my sister's number and called her and she was on the phone with my Dad so she gave him the phone number to the pay phone to call.  We told him that we were going to wait a little till the smoke and stuff cleared because we could not leave yet.  We, well my brother rewrites the number to where he is.  We wait about a whole 5 minutes and decided to just go.  My brother actually took 2 t-shirts from his job before he left.  I guess he is a genious.  So we each take one and head out with them over our mouth and nose.  We start to walk along water st. with a huge crowd, like an exodus.  People are crying, others almost look like they're strolling.  Then someone yells, "bomb" and a huge black cloud of "death" again came right at us. This was the second tower that fell. My brother didn't want to run like last time, but I did.  We ran a block and then went into a garage where people were getting hosed off.  At the garage they let us use the phone there and we called my dad again.  Again we begged him to leave and he said to just keep walking north and call when we get to where he can drive.  We walked up to Houston and then went back to the west side. My dad picked us up and we drove up to westchester with no traffic.  I got home about 3pm.  I walked in to see my mom and our neighbor.  I hugged them both and went to my room and cried.

Round #5  I am dealing alot better with 9/11/01, but I have been changed by it.  I will never have the innocence I once had.  I'm so much more scared and panicked of the unthinkable, because I believe now that the unthinkable is possible.</text>
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              <text>Lastyear on 9-11 I was in school,I can remember going through my first few classes and then when I got to Keyboarding my teacher had the television on.I remember asking her what we were watching she said that someone was ramming airolnes into the Twin Towers.At first my mind went blank and then I could only think about my little brother and sister.Later that day during fifth period my teacher told me that i had to go to the office because my mom was there I started to cry all i could think of were my many cousins in the army (did something happen to them). What had happened is that my dad got off work early so my mom picked my brother, sister, and I up from school.This is my memory of 9-11.    
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              <text>I was running late that morning and ran out of my dorm room to my international politics class.  I am 19 and a student at The George Washington University in downtown Washington DC.  As I went out of the lobby the TV was on showing showing smoke from the first plane.  It was about 9:10AM and very confusing.  I remember thinking that it must have been a small plane off course or something.

The mood in class was tense.  The professor announced that the TAs were trying to call up CNN.com or the Washington Post website on the projector but the websites were jammed.  He said that we were going to have class as normal and that especially from a political science perspective it was important to not jump to conclusions and that all we knew was that some sort of plane had crashed into the tower. All through class people's cell phones were ringing, which was very odd.  We could also hear fire engine sirens going past the soundproof lecture hall.  

At the end of class someone stood up and announced that his parents had just tried to call him on his cell phone three times in a row, so he answered it and they told him that the pentagon had been hit.  The professor dismissed class early.

I went to the student union to get breakfast.  People were saying something about a car bomb at the State Department which is only a few blocks away.  (This turned out to be a false rumor).  I remember thinking that I pass the State Department on my way to the field for Ultimate Frisbee practice and I would have to find out what was going on before I went that afternoon.

In between when I paid for my bagel and when I recieved my bagel, the student union was evacuated because of a bomb threat.

I heard rumors that the dorms might be evacuated or that everyone in the dorms might be assembled and accounted for.

I went back to my dorm.  I stood in the lobby with about 20 other people and realized that the trade center had been hit twice and the pentagon had been hit as well.  All of the sudden I realized that this had happened while I was in class and I'm sure my family was worried about me.

I went upstairs.  One of my roomates told me that my father had called as had one of my friends from home.  We turned on the tv to see the news.  

I tried to call home, but I could not get a dial tone.  I sent an e-mail out to everyone in my address book telling them that I was okay, but that I might be evacuated for a while so they should not worry if they could not get ahold of me.  I also told them that at that time I could only recieve calls coming in and could not make calls.  

I signed on instant messanger and two of my friends immediately IMed me asking if I was safe.  One of them went to the University of Kansas and one to the University of Tulsa.  I told them I was alright and asked one to call my dad at work and tell him to try to call me and asked the other to call my house in Tulsa and leave a message.  

Just then my cousin called me.  He works for the mint and his fiance also works for the government.  He told me that his fiance was out of the office that day and he had not tracked her down, but when he did they were going to his parents' house in Baltimore.  I told him that I wanted to come and asked him to call me back when he knew what was going to happen.  

Then my dad got through.  I told him that I was okay and that although I did not think it was necessary, I would get out of the city.  I put up an away message telling everyone that I was okay and was leaving the city.

My cousin called back soon after.  He said that his fiance was with her boss and that they would meet us at a particular metro station.  

I found my RA and told her that I was leaving and gave her my aunt's phone number if I needed to be accounted for later on.  I put my toothbrush and a change of clothing in my backpack and headed for the metro station.  

The metro trains were all screwed up.  GW is the last stop in the District and as I got on a train going north, I heard a loud sigh of anguish as it was announced that trains would not go into Virginia and everyone would have to get off the southbound trains.  

The trains were packed.  There were tons of military and law enforcement people going everywhere to report.  I remember thinking that if a military person needed to get on the train, I would get off and let them have my spot.

I got to my transfer point and had to wait about 20 minutes for the next train.  When I got to the station I wanted, my cousin got off the same train in the car right behind mine.  I had been looking for him, but the cars were so packed that I just gave up.  

We met his fiance and her boss and went back to the boss's house.  He and his wife were very nice and gave us food (I suddenly realized that I had not eaten all day).  They were elders in their church and were planning a prayer service for that night.  They had two small children who knew something was different that day because their father was home in the middle of the day.

In the late afternoon, one of my other cousins was able to come pick us up and take us to my aunt's house.  We watched TV for a long time and then went out to dinner.  That night my uncle drove us back to DC.

When I got back to my computer, I had over forty responses to my away message.  Mostly short messages saying they were glad I was okay.  I called my parents again.  My mom had talked to all of our relatives and assured them I was okay.  

I called everyone in my address book who had not responded to my away message or e-mail and told them I was okay.  I called my friends' parents who I knew would worry about me.  I called a few of my closest friends.  

The first time I donated blood was a week after I turned 17 in a Labor Day drive.  My blood type is O+ and I'm in high demand.  I wrote another e-mail to all of my friends giving them a little more detail about me being okay.  I urged them all to give blood and I said that if they could not or did not want to give blood, they should go with a friend and lend support.  

I went around my dorm and knocked on doors and told people that there was a blood donation center that opened at 8 am the next morning a few blocks away.  I said that I was leaving a little before 8 and anyone who wanted to could come with me. 

The next morning, September 12, about 15 of us went to the Red Cross donation center to find that it was closed and we were directed to the national office a few blocks away.  We got there about 8:30 am and the line was already to the door.  As we sat around waiting our turn to donate, tons of photographers and reporters took our picture and interviewed us as students giving blood.  The President of the Red Cross was talking to people on the beds.  I had a class at 12:30 and I was sure that 4 hours was plenty of time for me to donate and make it to class.  However, we did not get out until close to 1pm.  As we left, the line was out the door, down the stairs, out the door to the building, and curled around the block.  Muslim groups and a radio station were there with huge umbrellas and passing out water to the waiting people.</text>
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              <text>I was working on building a custom home with my partner Bob G and we were out looking at property to build another house. We heard the news from his wife when she called us. We immediately put the news on in the truck and went back to the house that was under construction. I went to the clients house that was next door to watch the news footage. I wanted to leave so bad to go to NY and help because I used to live on Long Island and I feel NY is where I am and always be from. I felt something leave me that day and will never forget how quite the skies were from no planes flying. It will be a day that I will never forget, like everyone else.

God Bless all those who lost their lives,343,
JWT4</text>
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              <text>Every moment of that terrible day is etched into my memory.  I was at home, sleeping (west coast) and my younger sister left the house very early, so she was up.  I could hear her getting ready to go to work.  She finally came into our room and said that a plane had hit the WTC.  I immediately thought it must have been a small, private plane, but got up to see what was going on.  All 3 of us kids were born in Manhattan, and watched from CT as the WTC towers were built, yes, we are that old.

I remember being confused as there was a live picture of the towers, and the sky was clear, despite the black smoke coming from the tower,  and you could see for miles and miles, so I could not understand how a plane could accidentally hit it.  As soon as they said a large airplane I was concerned...and I became very much frightened.  

I could not move from my place in front of the tv...I was mesmerized...I remember watching Katie Couric and Matt Lauer try to maintain their journalistic faces, but I could tell that they were also horrified...there were just no words to express what we were seeing.  Chaos....if only that was the end of it.

What I so clearly remember next is seeing a large commercial airliner roaring and speeding into the tower.  I was once again confused...thinking that someone had located video of the first plane, when it hit me that the other tower was already burning, so it was a 2nd plane...wow...we were under attack.  I woke up my boyfriend and we all sat together on the couch in front of the tv.  I had a terrible thought of what kind of world my 2 year old daughter would grow up in, if she even got the chance.  I also immediately called my lifelong friend in Darien, CT...and she was in shock.  My phone kept ringing...friends from CT, as well as my brother and his family, who were living in Berlin.  My brother wanted info...the reporter in him...so I told him all that I was seeing.  They did not get as much live video as quickly as we did...so I told him what was being shown on which station.

My brother had worked at AP Dow Jones for a few years, so I was familiar with the area.  I would fly into JFK, take a bus to Grand Central and then take the subway to the WTC...I could not imagine what was going on on the ground.  Fortunately, we mostly saw video from a distance, as I am not sure I could have handled seeing what must have been going on.  

I work for a defense contractor (and dealt with lots of military personnel on a daily basis).  I was concerned for some of them, who I knew would be involved in whatever came next.  I called my boss and said that I did not want to come into work, but would if they needed me. My boss usually got to work around dawn, and even he had not heard what was going on...he said he would call some of our contacts, but did not want to bother them when they clearly had more important things to do.

Time seemed to stand still, and at the same time, race by.  It seemed like a movie...special effects...

Then I remember hearing, but not seeing Jim Mizelchevski (sp?) the NBC Pentagon reporter saying that there had been some kind of explosion at the Pentagon, and that the construction workers were all running AWAY from the building.  I was amazed that he sounded so calm, and kept saying that he felt something, but that no one had been able to confirm anything at the time.  I then really started to fear for all of us...that this was quickly going to escalate.

We were watching the different channels I remember seeing all the emergency personnel running into the burning buildings...and thinking wow, what makes someone do that.  While I was thinking about that, I was watching the South Tower, and it just did not seem right...it was smoky from the point of impact, but I remember saying that it was going to collapse, and right after I said that it did....I think I actually had to sit down...I honestly thought that I had just watched 20,000 people die in an instant...I cried...for them, and for their families, and for what we all faced next.  When the south tower fell, I thought that the north would soon follow...I was surprised that it stayed up for as long as it did. 

I do not think that I could tear myself away from the TV for 2 days.  I felt so sad for us as a people...that we could do this to each other.  To attack innocent, non-combattants, knowing and hoping that the casualties would be tremendous just went against everything I believed in.  Of course there was lots of incorrect information, about the numbers, about who did it, why, etc.  None of that bothered me until we started to hear the stories of average people making the supreme sacrafice to help others.  New Yorkers are not typically known for their kindness...and what we witnessed that day was nothing short of a miracle.  

The plane that did NOT crash into anything was filled with people willing to do all they could, including dying, so that others would be spared.  To hear the stories of their phone calls, how they gathered information that helped them make the decision to take their fates out of others hands was incredible.  I was also amazed at how many people were saved...despite the obvious problems and chaos that prevailed after the attack.  

To help myself come to terms with the whole thing, I tried to imagine that most of the people who worked in the towers were males, a bit older (at least 40) and most had financial plans made for their families.  I was also relieved that the Federal Government did what they did to help them all out.  I later heard from a friend in CT that there were terrible news stories about the fighting between relatives about the cash...and that some people were really being held captive to take the money and not try to sue.  The issue was who could they sue?  The airlines would probably go bankrupt...who could possibly have imagined this could happen...even after the first bombing.

Something else that helped me was to read the individual stories of those who perished.  They were so loved, so much alive.  I have tried to read each and every one of their stories. 

It has been nearly 3 years, and while we visited ground zero a few months after the 1st anniversary, I cannot tell you that these memories have faded from my brain.  My daughter knows what happened, as I never tried to shield her from it.  We visited the site, and her little toddler mind now relates it to the Statue of Liberty, which we could only look at from Lower Manhattan.  She also has no fear of flying, which surprised me...and thinks that this was just a bad thing that happened because of bunch of bad people wanted to hurt us. 

My cousin is now in Iraq.  He has a wife and two young (18 months and 7 months) children at home.  I hope that we do not have to sacrafice any more lives to live in peace.  I know that is not very practical, but I tell my daughter about her great grandfather, Lt. Commander Grant, who was in WWII and a surgeon in Korea, as well as her grand-father, who also served in Korea.  I explain that we have an army to protect us from bad people.  We spent Memorial Day at a Scotish Highland Games Festival, which is a tradition, and we took time to remember all those before us who have fought for our rights and freedoms and all those who have given all.  

I do not care about all the people who think that God has no place in American politics and government....I ask that God Bless the USA every single day and keep us safe.

Ingrid Kirschbaum
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              <text>My story is one of emotion...you see my sister is employed by the federal government in New York.  After the attacks I called her immediately at her office.  The fear in her voice was evident as she was being evacuated from her building.  A few days later as she was able to return to her office it wasen't before a mile bus ride (because they could not park near the building) and being searched.

Her daughter, located in Phoenix, was evacuated on 9/12 from a major office building due to a bomb threat that turned out to be real.

Then as I attempted to put my business life back in order I discovered how many of my clients had offices in that building and people they knew were missing.

This day changed my life in so many ways but the most important...I find my family is closer and material things just don't matter so much any more.

So, in the midst of all the horror..take that terrorists...America is strong, we feel but we bounce back and it will be stronger than ever!

May God Bless Each and Every One of you!</text>
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the september 11 i was in France and was very choking ! It's very terrible for your city  . I love New York because i was come in last august 2001 . Bye Bye . Mary</text>
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              <text>I was at work that morning, working on a deadline that had to be met that day, when my boss came in and told me that 2 planes had crashed in the World Trade Center.  Since I had no access to a television, I thought that maybe it had been an accidental crash of two planes near the Trade Center.  Then the next thing I knew, someone told me that a plane had hit the Pentagon.  I knew then that this was not an accident.  I tried to get on the Internet to get any information that I could, but it was useless. 

The company that I work for is a hotel management company that owned, at the time, 2 hotels in NYC.  I tried to call them to see if everyone was alright, but I couldn't get through.  In my despair, I e-mailed them hoping that maybe they would respond.  In the meantime, my best friend, who also works for the same company and one of our co-workers were on their way to an appointment at the Pentagon!  Luckily, they had a late start and missed their 9:00 am appointment.  My best friend had just discontinued her cell phone service the previous day, so we had no way of contacting them.  

I tried to keep my mind on my work to distract from the events, but I could barely function.  I finished the presentation that I was working on and went home early.  I felt physically ill at that time, but was no where near as ill as when I went home and turned on the television.  When I saw the first plane hit the towers, I burst into tears.  I cried all that evening.  When I went into work the next day, I was afraid of what I would hear.(at this time, I still had no idea what had happened with my best friend!)  Of course, she came in late that day, but when I saw her, I threw my arms around her and told her that I love her.  

My heart breaks every time I think of the tragic events of 9/11/01.  Last week, I went to Ground Zero for the first time with my new husband.  I was overwhelmed by the show of support and love there.  My hope is that everyone feels the same way we felt that day for as long as we live.  Maybe then we can make the world a safer place.</text>
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              <text>This was my blog post yesterday.  It's hard to believe it's been five years. http://shirakozak.blog.com
My story of friendship found on 9/11 can be read in the 2004 Seal Press anthology, Secrets and Confidences: the complicated truth about women's friendships.
----------------------

"The beautiful days are hard..."   -Diane Horning, Co-founder, WTC Families for Proper Burial, Inc.

I understand what Diane means.  That those warm, calm days in mid-September in New York City bring back memories, thoughts, images of a day some part of us wishes we could forget.  

  Five years.  It's been five years but even as time passes the images, the feelings remain with me, though a little tarnished, a little more vague as distance from September 11th grows.  This year, today, I feel ravaged, and lost.  My feelings with each anniversary have been vastly different.  Immense sadness; hopeful; enraged; fearful; adrift.  I didn't know anyone who died that day.  Instead, amidst the turmoil, the sirens, the fear that death was imminent,  God sent me comfort in the form of a new friend, Michelle R.  

  We were incredibly lucky, Michelle and I, if one believes in luck.  My Rector Street building across from Trinity Church shielded us from the Trade Center plaza, and so kept us one large step from most of the horrors of the day.  But I had seen the piece of airplane logo fly past my window, on fire, had felt and experienced the resounding boom of flight 11 striking the first tower.  Today that sound lives somewhere in my memory, hidden in corners of my psyche, elusive.

  Co-workers of mine, as did others when they heard the news, went in search of the plane turbine that had landed somewhere in the park, but came back grim-faced at the trauma of seeing bodies and remains along the West Side Highway where they'd been flung.  J, K, &amp;  M had been walking along when the second plane flew directly over their heads and into the second tower.  One man described to me, 'the streets slick with blood'.  Another, the vision of a body strapped into an airplane seat, decapitated.  There were horrors, real horrors silently borne by witnesses to the unimaginable, secrets shared only through quick glances, eyes meeting eyes and seeing into the soul. 

  Returning to work later in the fall was experienced as an anchor, a gift and a terrible burden; desperate people, all of us, with desperate feelings and visions we couldn't shake.  Risk management, our jobs.  Getting up every morning to the smell of smoke, the sting of ash, our mission.  Just one more subway ride, one bagel and coffee, heads down running past the Missing flyers and firefighter memorials.  Just one more day, and then we'll be okay.  

 Okay never comes.  September 11th lives in our cellular memory; in the whine of an airplane overhead.  in the films of previous decades where the Twin Towers stand forever straight, unharmed, magnificent.  in fall leaves, that moment in September juuuust before the weather changes, stays a hint too warm, as though the world, as though Time stands still in a breathless hush, just one moment longer.  

Many years ago (the 1990's), when I lived in San Francisco, I had a terrible nightmare from which I awoke, heart pounding, sweating though the room was cool.  In this dream I lived in New York, was in an immense building that stood right on the shore.  I watched, paralyzed, from a top floor as an enormous tidal wave grew and grew and grew until it hit the building, hit the windows from which I watched with long watery fingers, clutching grasping at what lay within.  I've never forgotten that dream; now, I don't think I could.  

Today, September 10, my heart will mourn.  Tomorrow I will put away sadness at a day I cannot change and celebrate my son's eighth birthday.  I'll try to keep the sadness from my voice, will smile and laugh, just for him, as I've done every year since 2001.   But when the day is through, and the party hats have been put away and memories catalogued, I'll take a few minutes to remember, one more time, who I was then.  And how very different we all are, today.  

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              <text>                     'The Day America Cried'
'The Day America Cried' On the morning of September 11, 2001, the day started out as just an ordinary day, everyone rushin off to do their normal routines and get the day started  but then the World Trade Center, and the Pentagon  was crashed into by planes. Another place would have been hit if it wasn't for the brave heros on flight 93 that got the plane to where it wouldn't hit anywhere that people could be hurt, as everyone sat in fear shock wondering what happened or how it happened not believing something like this could happen. On This Day America and its' people cried, Cried out in fear and sadness. After that America cried again, Cried out in pride and showed that we the people of America were strong and could make it through the tough tragedy. Though many peoples lives were lost we will look back on this day in rememberence of the day America cried. We will thank god for the heros of america that died for us because of the terrorists attacks one year ago. Many children lost their mothers or fathers in this tragedy and no longer can see them but only in memories. Parents lost their children just starting out in the world that was given every chance to excel but now lost their chance to brighten their future. For all the people that died on 9-11, we know your watching down from the golden gates of heaven and watching us do what we do. we know you are in a better place and we are praying for you and your families. Always remember the day america cried. Well God Bless Everyone that has died on and since September 11th and their families.   </text>
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              <text>On the morning of September 11, at around 9:00a.m., I was at St. Paul the Apostle Pre-School, preparing for my Little Angels class that would be starting in a few days.  I was walking out of my class, to the office and was told by the Director of the school that the World Trade Center had been hit by a plane.  And at that point, noone was sure if it was truely and accident, or if it was an act of terrorism.  As this was being told to me, I was thinking to myself "I hope this is an accident".  Actually a few thoughts went thru my head...and 'war' was one of them. I called my parents out east in Rocky Point to see if they were watching the news, they had just gotten in from early morning shopping but had just turned on the television, so I called my son Andrew.  He explained that a plane had gone thru the first tower, and while talking...he interupted and in an excited voice he said..."OH MY GOD, MOM, a plane just went thru the other tower!!!!!!!  I felt an immediate scare, and...vulnerable.  I felt a rush of adrenalin, started to cry at the thought of such horrific devastation.  I immediately got off the phone.  Everyone was now searching for a radio, or television to hear and/or see exactly what was happening.  We couldn't as we were down in the church building.  I finished up my work, drove home, put the tv on and was in total shock...my thoughts???...With all the millions of dollars in military warfare,etc...WHERE were our men?  HOW could they have possibly gotten away with this, and create such a horrific devastation????  HOW???
Then I heard the Pentegon was hit...Oh My God!!!!!  I thought "THIS WAS IT"!  I actually had felt no faith in our military. The innocent and heroic people that brought the plane down in Pittsburgh.  And WHAT was going to happen next. HOW many other places were going to get attacked? 
My oldest daughter Jaclyn was in Texas on a business trip...and for the FIRST time I thanked God we were in the computer world!  She couldn't reach us and we couldn't reach her. She felt frightened, and too far away from home and her family.  I kept her up to date by "chat".  Thank God for AOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It was hard, very hard to know what she was feeling, just what we all were feeling.  But to be alone was truely a very difficult situation for her...I felt helpless in being able to get her home safely.  I just kept reassuring her that she was in a better place than us and that I thought she would be safer there. Needless to say, she was not able to get home for another few days, as there were no flights available to get home.  We all watched the news.  The air was quiet, every once in a while you heard the military jets as they canvassed the skies.  It was such a frightening feeling because we all knew this was an act of terrorism, a cowardly, and very sneaky one...one that our country let these horrible people get away with...WHERE was security, fbi, cia, anyone?  Why was Osama Bin Laden (how i hate to even type his name) and his crazy people not watched more carefully!  Watching the city workers, WHOEVER they were, work diligently for HOURS, DAYS, WEEKS, MONTHS was just heart-wrenching!  They never gave up.  The firemen were needed, the policeman were needed, the ironworkers!, the city mechanics to keep those monster vehicles moving and not break down, all the volunteers that kept feeding the tired workers, all the donations...all this ~ was a display of incredible humanity.  The concern, care and love for life was shown thru everyone that helped, some whether they wanted to be there or not, was so Godly.  This all went on forever, and seemed almost endless, yet...every single worker, hero or volunteer, continued til every speck of the area was searched, found, cleaned, and then closure.  My only hope it to rebuild, buildings that are still high with a smaller 'monumental building' in the center...so noone EVER forgets...and will see it...and learn...this demented, cruel and devastating act upon us, on this day, September 11. 2001.
The mayor of New York City did a nothing-but-heart-felt, stupendous, tremendous job, guiding everyone thru this time of fear, difficulty, devastation, and permanent sadness.  Thank you Mr. Rudolph Giuliani.  You are a very special human being!
Yesterday, as there was a memoriam at the site of the World Trade Center, as well as religious ceremonies and related musical presentations, it was a sad memory, but also a sign that we shall all overcome and move on.  But never...oh never forget!

Ann Taranto-Berner
Long Island, 
New York
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              <text>I teach high school English to recent immigrants in Houston, and I was in my classroom during my planning period when I heard the horrible news. I cancelled all of my lessons, so my classes could watch the news. My students were so worried and had so many questions I couldn't answer. I wanted so much to be able to answer their questions. Some kids seemed even more afraid when there seemed to be no quick and easy answer to their questions. 

Today we watched the ceremonies, my students again showered me with questions. Many of the questions were the same, and I still had no answers to some of them. How do I answer a child when she asks me how some people could hate so much that they would want to commit murder? Tears came to my eyes when a girl asked me how this horrible thing could happen? 

I may not have all of the answers, but I have gained a new understanding of what courage is. It is not being unafraid; it is giving and helping even though we might feel afraid.

The past year has taught me to be proud of my country in a way that I never was before.</text>
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              <text>On the morning of Septemeber 11, 2001, I was at work preparing for what was ahead of me that day as I sat in my cubicel checking e-mail and voice mail,listing to my radio on my desk as I do each morning while conversing with friends about the evening before. Then....I went from laughter to disbelief as sadness came over me. Silence fell through our building as we (co-workers) all listened to our local radio station disc jokeys announce that we THE UNITED STATES, AMERICA had just been attacked by what was believed but not confirmed at that time, terriorist. I looked around my building, co-workers in panic, co-workers in disbelief.  I wanted and needed to be near a televison.  I needed to see what was happing to our country.  I needed to be at home with my family to pray and mourn together with them for all of New York, PA and Washington.
I still and will always think about and remember that day and the feelings that were felt and the silence... the silence that was not heard. I know that the tradgic events and memories of those who lost their lives September 11, 2001 will live with us forever. 
My heart and prayers will ALWAYS be with all who lost their lives and to all who lost a family member(s) and friends.
 
                      GOD BLESS YOU 
                           AND
                    GOD BLESS AMERICA
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              <text>              REFLECTIONS ON A ?SECOND CHANCE?

Tuesday morning started out like most days in my marketing career.  I had several projects going at the same time and started my day by checking my email at 6:00 AM.  I was so wrapped up in answering email and formulating my thoughts for our presentation at 10:00 AM at the Pentagon, that I did not turn on the news as I usually did each morning.  Also, uncharacteristically, I did not turn on WTOP news radio on my way to the office at 7:00 AM, as I had several calls to place that morning while making the half hour drive to DI. 

I arrived at the office at 7:30 AM to accomplish a few tasks before Tom Asefi, CIO for GAITS, Inc., our teaming partner, picked me up at 8:45 AM for our 10:00 AM appointment.  I remember passing by Dr. Wright's office before leaving DI and seeing Dr. Wright and Russell looking at the television with somber faces.  I thought it was rather strange, as I had never seen the TV on in Dr. Wright's office before that day.  Now I realize that they were viewing the horrific news of the World Trade Center Twin Towers devastation.

Tom called to say that, as usual, the traffic was horrendous on 395 and he was running a little late.  As we were driving towards the Pentagon, Tom was the first to inform me about the atrocious news regarding the tragedy at the World Trade Center.  We actually did not realize that it was a terrorist act, and we were preoccupied with discussing the potential business the two companies would eventually pursue.  Little did we know the catastrophe that was to take place just eight minutes after we drove by the heliport at the Pentagon.  We also had no idea at the time that this disaster would create an extraordinary bond between us that will last a lifetime.  Tom is a young father of a beautiful five-month-old baby girl, and he proved that age does not make a difference when it comes to maturity in a terrifying &amp; dangerous situation.  It was his calm, caring &amp; strong demeanor that permeated and helped to calm my fears during this frightening experience.  Tom's wife also willingly assisted me when she called on his cell phone to confirm his safety.  When we informed her that no calls could "go out" on cell phones, she immediately offered to place long distance calls to my family in Colorado and to DI's corporate office to assure them that I was safe.
 
We drove by the Pentagon heliport at approximately 9:30 AM.  At 9:35 AM we were in the River Entrance at the Pentagon &amp; I was on the telephone waiting for confirmation of an escort to our appointment with the Army. At that moment, hundreds of people started running through the turnstiles loudly expressing their feelings that there might have been a bomb that exploded, and the Pentagon was on fire! Tom and I immediately exited with the throng of individuals rushing from the Pentagon.  At first, as everyone was standing on the lawn just outside the Pentagon, the realization set in that none of the cell phones were working!  I remember the military supervisors taking a count of individuals in their department and deciphering who was missing.  At one point, Tom and I decided to try and go back to retrieve his car, which we promptly realized was not feasible.  At that point, reality jolted us --- As we started back towards the Pentagon, we witnessed security and medical personnel carrying seriously and fatally wounded individuals on stretchers.  It was shockingly apparent that the situation emerging from the Pentagon was much worse that anyone had expected.  I remember feeling the hair stand up on the back of my neck and feeling sick to my stomach at the same time, when a policeman in a squad car drove by and announced through a loud speaker that another plane was possibly "coming in" with a potential bomb on board.  The load speaker blared:  ?KEEP GOING TOWARDS THE RIVER --- AWAY FROM THE PENTAGON!!?

The Pentagon Daycare Center was located near the River Entrance, and supervisors were trying desperately to get the children down behind a large stone wall so they would be protected in case there was another plane with a bomb on board!!  Surprisingly enough, no one panicked, and I contribute this to the excellent training of our armed forces.  Everyone was moving in an orderly manner, and I attribute that to the fact that the majority of the individuals were military and seemed to me to "have a solid handle" on the situation.  I realize that I was in shock because of what I had witnessed, but I also know that because all military personnel were portraying a calmness and strength, it transferred positively to the civilians in the huge crowd of people.  My prayers each night now include thanks for our phenomenal men &amp; women in our armed forces!!! 

Tom and I walked with the throng of people all the way to the George Washington Parkway, and I remember one fellow saying, "Why aren't any of the cars stopping to pick us up?  I told him that many people listen to music as opposed to news, and most likely, many were unaware of the tragic events at the Pentagon.  Finally, one car stopped and Tom, being the gentleman that he is, insisted that the two women we were walking with and I take this ride, and he would catch the next one.  As I got into the car, I noticed that the woman's arm was dirty and attempted to brush it off.  We realized that it was soot, and then she showed me the back of her hair where it was burned almost to her scalp!!  These two women were sitting at their desks when the plane hit the Pentagon and as they turned in their chairs, they were looking at a wall of fire!!  The only identification they possessed were their ID tags on a chain around their necks.  They had to run for their lives and left their purses, along with everything else in their office.  I was with them about 45 minutes and we never exchanged names, which is so unlike my personality.  I tried in vain to convince them that we should rent a car, being there were no cabs available, no phone service, and no one at the hotel knew where we could get a ride.  I was able to find one cabbie who was going off duty, and he very kindly offered to take me back to my office.  I told the two women that I would retrieve my car, and if possible, come back &amp; pick them up.  Getting back to their respective homes was going to be difficult, as one lived in Richmond, VA, &amp; the other in Olney, MD!! When I returned to the hotel, I was saddened when I was unable to find them and realized that I will never know their names. 

It was close to noon when I finally returned to the DI office.  The lights were out and there was no one to be seen, as everyone had been dismissed.  I remember starting to break down as I was walking down the dark hall.  I could feed my body starting to shake &amp; my tears were starting to fall for the first time.  In my heart and mind, I was silently hoping &amp; praying that one of my ?DI? family members would still be in the office.  I felt an indescribable sense of relief, (and my tears were flowing freely) when I finally found Simone, &amp; Nikea in Simone's office.  Nikea immediately brought me a cup of water to help calm my nerves.  I was also able to make contact with my children in California and tell them that I was safe.  Because of the traffic gridlock, it took me 1? hours for the normal half hour ride to my home in McLean, VA.  Once home, I began to realize just how blessed I had been.

Since September 11, not a day has gone by that I have not relived the huge billow of acrid black smoke rising from the middle of the Pentagon and the planes hitting the WTC in my mind.  I awake almost every night with a fear that I cannot describe, and until now, I have not talked much about my fears and experiences from that day.   Because I was not physically hurt, I downplayed my fears, even to myself.  When Simone called and requested that I write down my thoughts about what happened to me on that horrendous day, for our DI newsletter, I sincerely thought about declining.  Then I realized that writing this piece might very well help me with my fears and emotions about this appalling experience.  I intend to continue to write about my thoughts, fears &amp; other emotions that have surfaced in order to bring some type of "resolution" to this episode and permit me to continue with my life, as we all must do.  My fears and psychological injuries are real, but certainly are nothing compared to the enormous grief felt by those who lost their loved ones.  My thoughts and prayers are with them daily, as I light a candle every morning &amp; every evening, without fail, for world peace.

GOD BLESS AMERICA, GOD BLESS EACH OF YOU, &amp; GOD BLESS TOM ASEFI, FOR HIS SUPPORT ON THE MOST FRIGHTENING DAY IN MY LIFE!

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              <text>My husband called me; he was frantic and yelling that we had been attacked!
He kept shouting that terrorists had flown planes into the twin towers. I was shocked, dumbfounded and angry, but I felt no fear.
I went to the others with whom I work and told them; then I said we had to get a TV up in the Board Room; we had to know what was going on; we had to know what we had to do!
Our Ex. Director got the TV and everyone in the building gradually heard of this unthinkable rape upon our people. We gathered in the room and watched in disbelief and wiped away the tears. Work was at a standstill;
no one was able to concentrate on the policies to be revised or the transfer list to be updated; we were numb. since we work for the state; certain emergency steps were initiated; we were all prepared to travel to New York city and lend
a hand. I am a registered nurse; I wanted to comfort and console and I prayed that I would be called upon. I needed to do something; I needed to be there. Perhaps if I were
there, I wouldn't think so much. But, none of us were called;we were thanked for volunteering and being on stand by. How could anyone be that evil and so callous as to attack civilians; then say it was done in the name of their God! With time, may
they feel the power of our God, of our people, of our unity, of our nation. I am proud of our country and our people; more proud than ever before. Everywhere I go, I see the flag and I smile and thank God for my America. We are one, more so than ever; that
is what the terrorists did, not destroy us, not disable us; you made us stronger. Loved ones were murdered; we will weep but we will remember how brave they all were. We are comforted in knowing that the angels gathered them all and each and everyone of them watch over us.
We continue to battle terror in the only language they know; with missiles, planes, guns, ships; our troops, both here and abroad, are fearless in their tasks; they know what is at stake.
God bless you all; for protecting our country, for protecting our freedom. Stay safe and know that you are loved. May the future generations know the events of September 11, 2001; may they understand what this great country means and the sacrifices many have endured. 
I am proud of my country and proud to be an American.
                             
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            <description>The date this item was entered into the archive.</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="167382">
                <text>2002-09-11</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="62">
            <name>IP Address</name>
            <description>The IP address of the device used to submit the item.</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="167383">
                <text>66.67.99.198</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
        </elementContainer>
      </elementSet>
    </elementSetContainer>
  </item>
</itemContainer>
