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              <text>I was in our new home, sound asleep, as I heard the phone ring.  It was my husband at work telling me to get up and turn on the television, that the one of the twin towers and the pentegon had been hit. My first reaction was "OH MY GOD" as I instantly awoke.   My mother, who is deaf, was staying with us to help us get settled in.  I ran into the living room and turned on the TV and then ran and got my mother who was in the kitchen making coffee.  I was in a panic as I told her to come quick to the TV.  We sat and we watched in complete shock.  Not quite sinking in, we watched the first tower fall.  But as the second tower fell, so did the tears.  Disbelief and sadness took over.  My mom and I embraced each other as we cried and hardly any words were spoken.  All we could think about were all of those people who were in those buildings and their families who lost them. My heart goes out to them.  I then began to call family who live in Virginia.  To make sure they were alright.  And through the broken voices and tears "I Love You's" were shared as we realized our family was safe.  As  Americans, our patriotism grew.  The American Flag is still displayed at our houses and in our cars and in our hearts.  

      September 11th will be a day I will never forget.
                    God Bless America</text>
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              <text>On September 11, 2001, I was at work at Firstar Bank in Oak Harbor, Ohio.  We live in a small community and most everyone knows everyone.  When the first person walked in the door and told us that an airplane had flown into the World Trade Center, we were all shocked and ran to the break room to look at the t.v.  We all took turns going back to see what was happening and we were all watching as the second plane flew into the Tower.  To our horror we realized that it wasn't an accident that the first one had hit.  Then the Pentagon was hit and reports came in of an airplane that was being tracked in Cleveland, OH.  We thought we were at war.  When the Towers both collapsed that day, we were all crying.  I wanted nothing more than to get my children from school and take them home in case something more happened.  I had no idea how I would ever explain to them that the only reason that it happened was because the people who did this don't think we should live the way we do.  It is a wonderful thing to realize that your children truely do appreciate the country we live in and that many people, including some of their great uncles have served their country to insure those things for them.  In my wildest dreams I never imagined my children seeing anything like this.  I know that they will never forget, I will make sure that they hold in their hearts and memories the day that will forever change this country and the way we come to look at our freedoms and appreciate them. </text>
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              <text>     On September 11th, 2001 I was working at Al-Anon in Virginia Beach, VA.  I had just graduated from college and was working in the shipping department while looking for a full-time job.  I remember listening to national public radio that day and hearing that an airplane had just crashed into one of the towers.  At that time, I didn't think the situation was as serious as it actually was.  I remember thinking that somehow a passenger plane must have gotten off course.  I never would have imagined it was a terrorist attack.  During our break time, we all gathered in the cafeteria but this time no one was eating or talking.  There was no line at the snack machine like their usually was.  Everyone was staring at the television set, watching the planes crash into the towers.  Al-Anon used to be located in New York so a lot my co-workers were shocked and worried about family members there.
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              <text>I was in the family car, when the radio burst with the news.  We stopped the car and I changed the stations to know what was the truth.  We looked one to another (we are four, father, mother, me and sister).  After a short drive in the freeway, we stopped in front of a public phone in the middle of nowhere, and I spend 15 U$S trying to speak with my girlfriend in Jerusalem, Israel.  She was freaking out, she was thinking that the Palestinians have gone mad and that the end of the world was close.  I assure her that this was not from Arafat, but took me a lot of expensive phone calls to convince her that was not possible or good for her to escape from Israel in the same day.  In the end, she traveled to her relatives in northern Tel Aviv, and I continued my travel to Buenos Aires.  The next day the people in my town were commenting in a low voice how the yankees deserved the blow: "now they know what it is like to suffer".  For me was like a Hollywood movie.  That night I looked to my photos in the Twin Towers, from 1999.</text>
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              <text>Like many a New York story the subtle unusual differences in the details soon mounted into a tremendous and horrendous day. I remember that it started out as a bright and fantastic weather day.  I left my apartment a bit early to vote in the NY primary election before heading off to work in Jersey City, NJ.  But for some reason I changed my mind and chose to go to the polls after work instead of early in the morning, because I wanted take my time going to work and enjoy the weather.  My wife had left about 30 minutes earlier than I did and was on her way to her job on Wall St.

To reach my office in Jersey City, I had to take several subway lines, the last one in NY being the N/R train to the Courtland Street/WTC station.  From there it was maybe a 5 minute walk to the PATH subway station through the concourse level of the WTC. As far as I could recollect the first plane must have hit about the time that I reached the bottom of a long staircase leading to the mezzanine level of the PATH station.  Now imagine if you will about 6 or 7 really long escalators just filled with hundreds of commuters coming from New Jersey and more on the way.  On this morning, as I walked to the escalators after buying a newspaper, nothing really seemed out of place, but the crowds from Jersey were slow in coming.  I took the stairs that lead to the mezzanine level since they were usually less crowded than the one escalaltor that lead downstairs.   Things got a bit tenser however when I reached the actual turnstile area near the commuter bar. Without warning about 12-15 Port Authority police and security personnel came bursting out from several doors located behind the turnstiles, each of them moving with great urgency.  One security guard in particular attempted to leap over a slam gate, caught his foot and imediately fell face first to the ground. But faster than you could blink, he was on his feet and running with the rest of the group. I immediately stepped aside looking behind me, expecting to see the cause of their action, but, again, nothing was evident.  They all ran to the escalators and away they went. I and another passenger stood for a moment watching this.  I remarked to the other man "did you see anything or anybody?" He replied no and with a nervous look we both continued with our travels.

The train ride to New Jersey, which normally took about 8 miuntes took less than 5 and the train was almost completely empty.  No announcments were made, but as I would later find out the train was a means of escape for me and thousands of other commuters.  When I emerged at the Exchange Place Station I saw about 200 people standing near the station looking back at New York.  The World Trace Center was just about directly across from the PATH Station entrance, maybe 1-mile across the Hudson River. At first I thought there was some media crew there doing a live telecast from the Jersey City waterfront using lower Manhattan as a backdrop, which happened fairly often.  But when I didn't see one, I was immediately struck by a long thick plume of black smoke which by now had started to float across the Hudson and into upper Manhattan.  I could not see the top of the North Tower of the WTC until I followed the smoke back and was horrified by the flames and smoke that were erupting out of the building, making the top of it look like an oil refinery fire.  I immediately ran to my ffice building, about 50 yards away from the PATH station.  While running through the concourse level, which was glass enclosed and facing the WTC, I encountered a man on a cellphone looking at the North Tower ablaze. I asked him what he saw.  His reply was "I was just standing here when I saw a plane come from that way and it just plowed into the building. This was no accident!" I could not get my mind around the concept so I pressed further. "It was a jumbo jet! It came straight in like they meant to ram the thing! Goddamnest thing I ever saw!"  My jogging to the office became full-fledged sprint.  I reached my office on the 2nd floor in about 2 minutes.  I alerted my co-wrkers, who had come in from Jersey so they wouldn't have seen the first attack, about what I had saw.  I tried calling my wife's office but could not get an answer.  I left a message desperate for her to call me back.  Her office was only three blocks away from the WTC and she would often take cabs and walk some of the way. We all gathered by a large window that afforded us an unobstructed view of the burning tower. Several of them scrambled back to their desks to call loved ones, but I and another man stayed. As we wondered aloud who could have done this he noticed another object coming from the right. He immediately yelled "What the hell is that plane doing?" I saw what he was describing just as the second plane suddenly came into view and disappeared just as quickly into the South Tower.  It exploded out and sideways almost as if it were in slow-motion.  We stood in disbelief at what had become a nightmare.  The Human Resources Director for the company, watching from an office maybe 20 feet away, fainted. I could hear screams from others in the office when they realized that they had family or friends that worked at the WTC and that this was officially an all-out assault from whoever.  Fear turned into more sprinting. I ran back to my office and called my wife again with the horrible update.  With great relief my wife's voice greeted me on the other end of the line. She was very upset as well, but was rallying her co-workers, many of whom were panicking and praying in their office. They were preparinig to evacuate but the phone cutoff before we could finish our conversation.
I told my co-workers, most of whom lived in New Jersey to get ready to leave as soon as it was okay. I kept looking for the hierarchy in our office to gather us together and tell us to evacuate.  It was rumored that the Pentagon had been hit but the reports as to how and where were sketchy. We were ordered to stay away from the windows adjacent to the Hudson and the unfolding devestation outside. Was the attack still underway?  What else had been hit? Many had gathered in the cafteria and and the reception area, where TV monitors tuned to CNN gave us detail after unbelievable detail. Then the pictures from the Pentagon attack were shown for the first time.  This was another crippling blow to our psyches. In the cafeteria TV pictures of the smoking ruins and fires from Washington, D.C. juxtaposed against the two towers burning literally in the background through the huge windows gave new meaning to surreal.  How many people had died?  How many other planes were out there waiting to strike or had?  Still more rumors floated about concerning several planes that were unaccounted for and they could be anywhere. In all of this, still no word on whether we would evacuate or not.  Though I was ddeply worried for my wife and my friends who worked in the WTC  I figured that we would be safe enough where we were.  It was the only joke of the day I could think of, but I didn't think anything in New Jersey was important enough to blow up. I went back to my office to try and call my wife a third time, but when I got there I was startled by several loud screams coming from the hallway.  The unthinkable had happened again.  The South Tower had suddenly collapsed. I rushed to one of the barracaded windows, expecting to see the tower laying in or near the water's edge. Instead the entire area was enveloped by a thick gray fog which continuted to rise. It soon blotted out the entire area. When I returned to my desk again, my wife had left a frantic message telling me that here building shook and swayed when the collpase was under way and that they could no longer see the sun out of the windows. As bad as it sounded she and others were ready to evacuate.  Her voice assured me that the building indeed did not just fall over, but again I was equally worried about what she would find when she hit the streets.   Replays on TV showed that it simply came down with a thunderous final implosion. Several more people fainted. Others cried for some type of vengeance.  At that moment the Jersey City Police came through and announced an evacuation. It was stern, but that was what was needed. We immediately left the building, but for the people from New York, there was no where to go.  Transportation to NY, in the form of bridges, ferries, tunnels, and trains was completely cutoff. I and another co-worker wandered over by the Exchange Place PATH station trying to find someone to tell us what we could do.  the lone gentleman who was there calmy told us that there was no service and that no one knew when it would come back.  He also informed us that the area was being cleared so that survivors and the deceased ould be transported trhough this area to local hospitals. Over his shoulder, we could see the smoldering North Tower of the WTC.  As he was speaking to us his radio clamored for attention, but before he could answer it, the North Tower suddenly started to collapse.  In a rush of smashing concrete and steel, which sounded like 1,000 rollercoasters coming down at once, the building folded like a beach chair. We stood speechless for a moment, as if the collapse was simply another part of a day that shook the soul. We then went to the next PATH Station to see if anyone knew what to do about getting home. The ferries from New York started to arrive carrying people who clearly had been there for the collapse. One man was so covered in soot an debris that his shoes literally emitted puffs of smoke as he walked.  He looked dazed but he also didn't slow his stride. A squadron of F-16s came over head not too long after.  I wondered if this were simply window dressing.  Whatever we normally did to keep planes from being hijacked went horribly awry on this day, and now thousands were probably dead and injured and a city lost one of it greatest landmarks. The nation for a day lost its security.

Hours later I checked into a hotel room that was reserved by the company I worked for since New York was locked down until the next day. I spoke to my wife at length and found out that she was in the street when the second tower fell.  Covered in soot from head to toe, she and several of her co-workers managed to walk to the lower east side and found a restaurant to sit in for a few hours.  In the end it took about 6 hours for her to get home. She was scared and tired but her spirit was not broken. I also found out that she was scheduled later that day to meet with the catering manager of Windows on the World restaurant to plan a monthly fucntion for one of her professional organizations.  He was one of the 3,000+ people that perished in the attack.   Later on that evening as I walked around Jersey City trying to find a restaurant to buy some food I saw some people walking around putting up flyers of the missing.  I also saw people gathered near the PATH station looking at the now dissipating smoke and flames where the WTC once stood.  They were silent, but I think it was more out of shock and respect.  So many things went through my mind before during and after the initial event. Our feeling of safety was pummeled almost to death. The people inside the WTC were doing nothing more than working and having breakfast and they were slaughtered.  I was at least lucky enough to have escaped from underneath the catastrophe.

And it strated off as such a beautiful day.</text>
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I emailed the Red Cross website to all my friends so we could find out where to give blood that night. Here's the response that I got from my friend Cheryl. Renee May was her best friend from college (San Diego State Univ.). She was a flight attendant on AA flt. 77, and was pregnant with her first child.  

Hi Karen Renee was onthat flight 77 coming to stay with us. She came 
here a
few times a month we are all heartbroken.  Cheryl

:( Karen 
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              <text>Well that morning i guess i had a 9 am class at George Mason University and i fell into my usual morning routine and everything was normal until i was halfway to school when i saw 7 or 8 fire trucks go flying by in the other lane heading twoards the beltway. I thought this was odd at first so i decide to turn to thee radio to see if i could get some info on what just happened. "The Pentagon has just been hit". At first I had no clue what was going on and i thought it was a joke or something, so i changed the channel and it was same thing. So then i began to learn what what was happening. When I arrived at campuse it was madness. People were running all over and were crying it was madness. For me this was so interesting because i was shocked but i wasnt horrafied like most people i guess because i just always figure shit happens. I finaly got to class and my profesor began to explain what was happening and it was truely insane how they pulled this off. So class was pretty much cancled so i went home and turned into the tv and watched and saw the replays and everything. And then the towers fell and this was a crazy image. That was like the whole world was going down with it. To see the faces of the people running for there lives cannot reven be described. IT was crazy. The whole thing was crazy and it changed everyones world.</text>
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              <text>A View from 23rd Street
September 14-15, 2001

We are very grateful for all the calls and e-mails we have received from family and friends around the country, and from as far away as Jerusalem and Yerevan, inquiring about our safety and emotional well-being in the aftermath of the attack on the World Trade Center. 

We have tried to respond individually, usually with short bursts of detail, to convey that we are safe and, to date, have accounted for all relatives and friends who work and live in or near the attack site.  While we still anticipate getting tragic news about people we did not know were at Ground Zero on Tuesday morning, we are grateful for now that our personal circle appears to be unbroken.

It is now late Friday.  President Bush has visited the disaster area, and it was good to see him here.

Writing this message will give me a way to collect my thoughts in a more reflective fashion than I've been able to do since Tuesday and, if you don't mind, share them with you as a way of relating what we were doing physically and how we have been coping emotionally with the surrealistic city we now find ourselves living in.  It may also give me the opportunity to arrive at some understanding of events that seem incomprehensible.  I hope you will not find this tedious or worse, presumptuous.

Tuesday began without a hint of the madness to come.  It was bright and sunny.  We went through our usual morning routines as we prepared to walk Sarah to school and then go to work.  Barbara and I stopped off to vote at 23rd Street east of First Avenue in the New York primary, then split up to head to work ? I headed toward East 42nd Street and she headed toward the courthouse near City Hall.  Barbara noticed smoke coming from downtown and said there was a fire, which we assumed was nearby, as it was very thick and seemed so close, and fire engines were responding from our nearby fire station.

Barbara took the subway and was coming out of the City Hall station ? about 10 blocks north of the WTC ? when the south tower collapsed.  She had to duck into a building to get away from the smoke and dust.  Debris from the building flew as far as City Hall.  The courts were closed shortly afterward, and the Daily News had her go to nearby Beekman Downtown Hospital to report on the emergency care being given to victims.  

She had a very long and emotional day, coping with accounts of falling bodies and debris, of choking under clouds of pitch black smoke, and screams that will reverberate forever to those that heard them.

Like most other people, I was watching the unfolding events on television in my office and was slow to comprehend what was happening.  Later in the morning I went to Sarah's school, which was being shut down for the day.  We talked about what had happened, in rudimentary terms, and although I don't think she appreciates the complexity and enormity of what happened, she said, "I know why they picked the World Trade Center.  Because they are famous buildings."

Although Barbara called us almost hourly throughout the day, Sarah kept asking me if Mom was safe, and I could honestly say she was.  When Barbara came home at about 8:30, Sarah leaped up and said she was going to make dinner for her.  She then toasted an English muffin and scrambled some eggs in a bowl for us to cook while Barbara, who was coated in dust, showered.  After eating, she and Sarah fell asleep on couches in the living room, and as unsettling as the day had been, it was calming and reassuring for me to see them like that.

I was glued to the television all night, in the way we all had been in November 1963 when President Kennedy was killed.  This event has made us an American village again, and for the first time in my memory, all of the United States is sympathetic to New York, appreciating both that this was an attack on America in which New York and the Pentagon were symbolic targets, and that the international primacy of New York as a financial and communications center made it an obvious target that spared virtually all other US civilian centers as the object of the terrorists' madness.  In the last couple of days, I have seen police cars from Virginia, firemen from Ohio, delivery trucks from Indiana, and so much more from around the country.

There is also an appreciation for Washington and our national government that is somewhat unusual in this era in which citizens tend to disdain the capital, and the press unendingly dissects personal scandals at the expense of intelligent policy analysis, and politicians make a point of rhetorically distancing themselves from the very national institutions they hope and claim to lead.

By the end of the first evening, after a full day working the phones (when they worked at all), we had finally heard from our various friends and relatives and school families who work and live in the WTC area.  One had an especially harrowing story.  Our friend Diana Merenda, who went to school with Barbara, worked at the WTC and called her husband to say the buildings were under attack and she was trying to get out and to head to his midtown office.  They exchanged intensely personal words, and she was not heard from again for more than four hours.  Nearly incapacitated by smoke, she ended up on a ferry to New Jersey, having gotten there in a near tidal wave of escapees who linked arms and tried to divine their way to the river, which they could not see for the pitch black smoke that blinded them to such a degree that they could not see their own hands.  She was treated for smoke inhalation, and her husband went home to Manhasset, got their car and made a long and circuitous journey (from Long Island to Westchester and Rockland Counties, across the Hudson north of the city and back down along the Palisades, all in massive traffic) to get and bring her back at 2:30 in the morning.

On Wednesday, Sarah and I stayed home for a while, took a walk, stopped in to reflect and say a prayer at the nearby St. George Episcopal Church, got some pizza and went to her friend Siri McClean's for some play time.  The McCleans live in Waterside apartments on the 37th floor, facing south/southwest/west.  The Twin Towers were the center of their dining/living room view.  And it was gone.  For all the television I had watched, the calamity did not register on me as dramatically as it did when I looked out and, in a real dimension, without the filter of TV, saw what was there Tuesday morning but not there Tuesday afternoon.  This was not a dream or a Hollywood disaster movie in which Bruce Willis or Sylvester Stallone was going to save the day.   One can only imagine what those who live or work there every day, or who are literally on the rescue teams, must think.  And one cannot comprehend how those who witnessed other mass destructions that were unexpected and unprecedented - Pearl Harbor and Hiroshima obviously come to mind - could ever recover.  The view from our own window is out on the East River, which is usually rich with boat traffic and taxiing seaplanes.  In the distance we have a clear view of airplanes taking off and landing at LaGuardia Airport.  In the last few days, of course, the only river vessels have been police and fire emergency craft, and with the exception of Air Force jets and police helicopters, the skies have been clear of aircraft.  Apart from that, though, you would never know from looking out our window that something was wrong.  All the buildings that are supposed to be there are right where they belong.  However, there has been an exceptional quietude because the FDR Drive, which usually hums with automobiles, has been closed to all but official vehicles.  For the first time since we have lived here, I can actually hear the ticking of our living room clock when the window is open.

Earlier in the day, in the morning before Barbara went to work, I rode my bike uptown, because access on my normal route - south along the East River, around Battery Park, up the West Side past the World Trade Center and World Financial Center - was not only blocked but forever changed.  The streets were strangely empty of autos.  Pedestrians and bicyclists were nodding to each other, saying hello, waving to and saluting each other, and there seemed to me to be far more than the usual number of people walking with arms around each other, but it was all without smiles.  There were only grim and sorrowful expressions.

Barbara spent the day at one of the coordinating centers for family and friends searching for word of their missing loved ones.  Hundreds of people were holding fliers with pictures and phone numbers, filling out missing persons forms, crying, shaking, desperately anxious to talk about the lost in the hope of good news.  She spent an arduous day conveying their stories to the newsroom.  By the time Barbara got home, she was drained, which those of you who know her well know is a rare occurrence.

There are many levels of accumulating emotional despair in this crisis - for those who are missing loved ones, those who are searching the rubble, those who are relaying the poignant stories, those who are investigating the crime, those who are leading the city and nation - and they are all real and deeply disturbing.  Even when you turn off the television and get outside, nowhere near the World Trade Center, you cannot escape the now common sense of New York.  On street after street, there are posters of the missing plastered on bus stop shelters.  Today I walked by one of the places where the families of the missing have gathered ? the archway entrance to Bellevue Hospital on First Avenue and 27th Street.  I did not want to linger or add my maudlin sentiments to their grief.  I almost felt too lucky to be allowed in their company.  But as a New Yorker, I just wanted to pat the shoulder of someone who lost family ? simply, anonymously ? and read as many of the posters as I could, because people who love put them up, and they deserve to be seen.  Although there is no reason to identify or single out the missing by their ethnicity, I automatically freeze every time I see an Armenian name, perhaps because it brings the reality of the crime a little closer to me, or because I am more likely to know the family since ours is a relatively small and tight-knit community.  So here is a name ? Peter Mardikian ? who called his wife from Windows on the World on the 106th floor and has not been heard from again, and whose sister was clutching his picture, telling his story.

School resumed on Thursday, and Sarah and her friends were glad to see each other.  Less than half the class was there, however.  Quite a number of families either kept their children home or have left for country houses or to be with relatives outside the city.  Our own focus has been to try to maintain as close to a normal routine as possible, even as we adapt to the circumstances.  For example, several of our friends who live near the attack site have been evacuated from their homes, and the realization of that fact has made more of an impression on Sarah than what little she has seen on TV of those awful video images of planes crashing into the Twin Towers.  One schoolmate has spent the afternoons at our house until her mom, a single mother, can pick her up and take her to the hotel that her company is putting her up in until she can get back home.

I have talked to my sister Renee about the possibility that we'd have to leave New York and come for the mother of all sleepovers at her house upstate - if living conditions here deteriorated to a danger point or we came under renewed attack.  We are carefully monitoring the environmental conditions, for example.  For part of Wednesday and much of yesterday, we smelled smoke from the attack site.  Yesterday, as far north as my office on 42nd Street, there was a sooty, gritty texture to the air as the winds blew northward from Ground Zero.  There have been conflicting reports of asbestos levels in the air.  Mayor Giuliani has said there is no danger, but doctors on the scene have asked for a large volume of asbestos masks and have told individuals that the asbestos levels are high.  The World Trade Center, after all, was built in the mid-sixties, and the internal pipes ? thousands of miles worth ? were coated with fire retardants, including asbestos.  

The head of security for the New York Federal Reserve Bank, who lives in our building, said that the Bank was moving its operation to East Rutherford, New Jersey, because, although their building had not been structurally impaired, the ventilation system had been so compromised by the dust, debris and chemical pollutants that they could not ask their employees to work in that environment until they were certain it was cleared and safe - and that could take a long time.

Yet while we've talked about a contingency plan for departure, my overwhelming urge and need is to stay in New York, to maintain as close to a normal life as possible, to accommodate the changes that have been forced by this dastardly deed without compromising our values by allowing terrorists to uproot our lives.  These sound like grand philosophical words, but there are practical aspects to them.  Sarah, for example, at 8 and a half, has in the last two months become confident enough in herself to go on sleepovers ? upstate to my sister's, across the street to the McCleans', and elsewhere.  Her piano playing has hit another noteworthy stride ? she is playing Beatles songs with great enthusiasm and skill - and her teacher is coming over tomorrow for the usual Saturday lesson.  Fourth grade has just started, and she has an excellent teacher to whom she has responded very nicely.  We would hate to uproot her and risk a setback to her confidence because of what may be an unfounded and ephemeral fear of harm at the hand of terrorists, and we would hate to teach her the lesson that a brazen act of terror and cowardice would drive us from our home.  But we cannot be blind to the fact that terrorists in fact perpetrated a very real and deadly attack and could do it again, in a time and place that could put us among the casualties.  So, we try like everyone else to balance the scales and act as wisely as we can.  For now, the risk seems contained, and our pride in New York too great, to do anything but stay and be ourselves as best we can.

There is something about New York today that is akin to what must have been the character of London in the Blitz.  It is more than a sense of our being under siege, of having to climb out of and rebuild after the rubble.  Even in our contempt for the people who did this, New Yorkers are being casually kind and tolerant and graceful toward one another and the many who have come here to help.  They and the rest of our fellow citizens are involuntarily sharing in an endeavor far bigger and more important than any of us individually.  (In more banal settings that seem ludicrous by comparison, athletes talk about how they and their teammates "banded together" to show "great courage" and "overcome diversity" in order to . . . win a few more baseball games than the other guys, who were praying to the same God for the same good fortune.  Seems sort of silly, doesn't it?)

Why do I want to stay?  It is more than the fact that I am a New Yorker, that I was born here, that this is my home and my hometown, and that I do not want to cower to a miserable malevolent force.  It is more than a garish hometown nationalism - New York has always been the place to be, that people want to come to, now as ever.  It is probably more than simple human nature and instinct, too, since I am spending a lot of time thinking about and analyzing it.

There is much in this week that reminds me of The Bridge of San Luis Rey ? the Thornton Wilder novel examining the lives of five people who died when a Peruvian footbridge collapsed.  The search for meaning and a rationale for why those lives were on that bridge at the fateful moment leads to the inevitable if unsatisfying conclusion that there is no sense to it at all; it was just random.  If there is a redeeming coda to the tale, it is to love and be loved while you are here, for that is what makes sense and endures.

My dear dear friend Bob Wurwarg went into work late on Tuesday, and at the time he would normally be coming out of the World Trade Center subway station, he was on a commuter train from Rockville Center to Penn Station, so he missed the plane crashes.  An acquaintance was delayed from his normal schedule because he voted on the way to work.  A friend stopped for a bagel and coffee on the ground floor and ran out when the first plane hit.  The head of Cantor Fitzgerald, the bond-trading firm that lost 700 of his 1,000 employees, was late because he decided to take his 5-year-old son to his first day of "big boy" school at Horace Mann.  It was not wisdom or virtue that kept these people alive and took so many others.  Some people who were lingering outside for a cigarette break also lived, while firemen and cops and EMS medics who rushed to helped the victims perished in the collapse.  Barbara Olson, wife of the Solicitor General, delayed her departure to Los Angeles for a day so she could celebrate her husband's birthday, and she ended up on the flight that crashed into the Pentagon.  If there is any sense to this, it resides in a providence I cannot interpret.

I suppose a Bridge of San Luis Rey analysis can only be retrospective.  It is a way to process what has happened, but not a guide by which to live or plan future behavior.

In the last day or so I have also been mindful of the parable of the appointment at Samara, in which the merchant's servant is threatened by a woman who turns out to be Death at the marketplace in Baghdad.  The servant desperately flees to Samara where Death would not think to look for him.  When the merchant goes to the market himself and asks Death why she threatened his servant, Death says she was not threatening but was herself startled to see the servant in Baghdad because she had an appointment with him in Samara that very evening.

There may be an awful holy grace to events like this week, and to life on this earth, or there may be nothing more than coincidence, a random collection of atoms or the plain old luck of the draw.  Whatever you believe, in the end, you have to do what feels right and safe.

To me, it feels right and safe to be home.  May that feeling flourish.

With the warm regards and love of my family to yours,

Bob Tembeckjian

P.S.  It is now Saturday morning.  I did something both incredibly mundane and important ? I took our laundry to the local laundromat and told the proprietor I'd be back late this afternoon to pick it up.  I will.  And it will be ready.

Barbara, Sarah and I are going out for a walk, and to buy some extra large size clothing that Sarah's school is collecting for the relief workers.  Tomorrow we will join friends in worship.  While answers may not be revealed to us, there are some words about the Bible by Sir Walter Scott that may help.

Within that awful volume lies
The mystery of mysteries.
Happiest they of human race
To whom God has granted grace
To read, to fear, to hope, to pray,
To lift the latch, and force the way,
And better had they ne'er been born
Who read to doubt, or read to scorn.
 

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We are now the proud parents of a little girl called Kimberley and have since had another girl called Courtney.  We shall tell her all about it when she is old enough to understand and will always remember where we were when this awful tradgedy happened.
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              <text>I came home 9/11/01 and I realized that my dad had been home from work. Shortly after we got off the bus and in our home my dad had told me that the Twin Towers in New York had been hit by terrorists and how it was all over the news. I ran crying into my room. Shortly after my mom got home I cried with her. Just seeing those images over and over was terrible. I hated watching them fall and seeing the people jump out of windows and people running away from the smoke. A year after 09/11/01 in 2002 my grandmother died on 9/11. It all started out when my dad was at work and he got a call.  He went to see my uncle at his house. When he got there he knocked on the door and the door slowly opened. He hollered for my uncle but no one had come to the door. He went to my grandmothers house about 5 mintues from my uncles house. When he got there he saw my aunt's car there and my uncle's truck. When he went inside he saw my granmother sitting there dead and my aunt and uncle were crying. Soon after he started to cry. He and my mother had both taken off work a little after 12:00 noon. When my brother and I came home that night we had realized my mother and father had been home which isn't usual. We knew something had been wrong. When we got to my house we went in and saw my mom and dad crying their eyes out. When we asked them what was wrong they had said that Grammy had died. I ran crying to my room. My other Gram had made soup for us but of course no one was hungry for anything. That night we all cried ourselves to sleep. The next day we did not go to school. Soon after we had to go to her house and clean it out so that it could be sold to someone. The first time we went we cried alot. The next time we went we had discovered a note that she had wrote to us the day before she died, like she knew she was going to die. We cleaned out her house and my older brother bought it. He is married with one son. I can never walk in that house the same way since she died. We will always remember her. So if you had lost somebody not only when the Twin Towers fell but if they just died on 9/11 any year don't forget about them but remember them. Each year that she had died I remember her more and more. Her name was Pauline Hill. We love you Grammy Hill. We will always remember you.
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              <text>   I rolled out of bed that morning following my usual routine. I was a sophomore in high school. It was, just like in New York, a beautiful September morning. It was bright, warm and the sky was a light blue with a few stray clouds. 
   I went to my second hour English class, which started at 8:15 am. About twenty minutes into class, the principal interrupted class over the P.A. system. He told us that an airplane had crashed into the World Trade Center. My class and I were overcome with shock and awe. No one said a word. My teacher turned on the tv in our classroom and those horrific images of destruction and caos enveloped the screen. The rest of the school day was very somber and quiet. The hallways lacked the yelling and general talking. My math teacher tried to teach us math, but to no avail. 
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              <text>I was playing games on the internet when my son came running into my house, all excited and out of breath, asking me if I knew what had just happened in New York City ?  He changed my tv channel, we could not believe our eyes or ears. The only thing I could do was sit down and pray to our Father in heaven, then the tears came quietly down my cheeks,my heart felt very heavy and then the towers started falling. I have never felt so helpless.  The need to touch my family, make sure that they were all okay growing ever stronger till I felt I would burst.  I will never forget 9-11-01.</text>
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