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              <text>My husband was still sleeping; he always has Tuesdays off. I was up, puttering around, making coffee. It was a hot day, so we had the AC on and the shades drawn. The phone rang; it was my mother-in-law in Ohio. She sounded anxious and asked if we were okay. I glanced over at my husband on the bed in his underpants. "Yeah, we're okay." She said that the world trade center was gone. It made no sense to me. I stammered to my mother-in-law, "Uh, hold on, just a minute please." I went over to the window and moved the blinds. I couldn't believe what I saw. Instead of the glistening lower Manhattan skyline, there was just a giant pyroclastic flow of black smoke. I went back to the phone and said, "Holy Shit!" to my church going mother-in-law. My next words were, "I gotta sit down. My knees are weak. What happened?" She told me to turn on the TV. I hung up and screamed at my husband, "Get up, look!" I turned on the TV and could only get one station and it was fuzzy at that. I told my husband that we had to fill up every container we had with water, go to the bank, get some money and go grocery shopping for stuff like canned milk and dried beans. We ran into a neighbor who had just driven from lower Manhattan. She was sobbing and hiccuping, saying over and over, "I can't believe I got out." Later we went up to the roof and saw everybody walking across the Brooklyn Bridge as billows and billows of smoke continued to blossom out of lower Manhattan. We walked over to Ft. Greene Park and glumly sat on the steps watching the smoke. The next day we walked over to the Brooklyn Promenade and spent some time on the roof of a friend's in Brooklyn Heights. Another building collapsed on Wednesday sending another giant plume skyward. We ran into a friend who had been on the promenade when the towers collapsed and she said that people were screaming and throwing up and falling down on the ground. For days, everybody was walking around with puffy, blotchy, pale faces with a dazed look. I left Brooklyn the following Monday and have not been back.
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We all were americans at this moment!!!!!!!!!!! Americans fight for your land and destroy all the terrorists we are on your side.......</text>
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              <text>Photos at:
toddshea.com/wtcpics.htm
toddshea.com/fivethousand.ntm
toddshea.com/911.htm

Permission granted to post photos and copyrighted lyrics

MY STORY OF 9/11
By Todd Shea

So many others were hurt and impacted by the events of 9/11 far more than I was, this is just my little story in a book of millions. I can't even imagine the sorrow of those who lost a loved one or a dear friend. Still, 9/11 was absolutely the worst day of my existence to this point. Like you, I feared for my family, our country and our way of life.

I called my son at least 20 times before I finally got through- I didn't know what would happen, he doesn't live far from Washington, D.C. And like many others, I didn't think the attack was over after the 4 airliners crashed, I thought it was possibly just beginning. He is 11 years old and had already seen television coverage of what had happened, so I had to "explain" this insanity to him as best I could. I told him I was sure he would be safe, but I had to be honest with him, and I had to tell him that if anything happened to me before we were able to see each other again, that wouldn't stop me from loving him until the end of time.

That week, instead of doing what I love- playing and creating music, I spent over 100 hours with only 7 hours of sleep at a man-made gate to Hell, fueled by anger, adrenaline and caffeine, supplying some of the finest people I have ever come to know. In the middle of this surreal environment, I thought at times that perhaps I had finally lost my mind. But then, in our darkest hour, I watched hundreds, then thousands, then millions of good people respond to this despicable act. And so did God. And through the grief and pain, I found hope that Mankind will one day overcome hate, and go on to much better things...

TERRIBLE TUESDAY

I was staying at a hotel in Queens when the attacks happened. My fianc?e, Michele, and I woke up to a phone call from my manager Al Sirowitz. His call was expected- we were going to be working in a recording studio that day. I felt great and was very eager to get to work on my music. I answered the phone. Instead of his normally upbeat personality, Al seemed very subdued. He had the worst of news. We turned on the TV and watched the 2nd jet slam into the south tower. Then we watched the Twin Towers burn from a hotel window.

In an instant, happiness and anticipation had been replaced by anguish and dread. Absolute terror, shock and rage would be an understatement. After getting control of my emotions to some extent, I set out to do the only thing I could do: volunteer to help. I am thankful that the good people who signed me to an artist development and recording deal also happen to run a successful company that has the personnel, expertise, resources, ability and credentials to respond instantly in a time of national emergency.

DOING WHAT I CAN

That first day and early Wednesday, I ferried Human Service Center's crisis intervention counselors and emergency service workers to various hospitals and staging areas, using some down time (while waiting for a couple of counselors) to write a poem about the disaster with Human Service Center's CEO Daniel Panitz, Sr., entitled "Evil Will Never Win" (see lyrics below). After bringing the counselors to the family of a fallen firefighter, I headed to the disaster center at Chelsea piers in Manhattan, where I was given my first mission to ground zero. I didn't want to go there, I had to- my life was and is and will be about using my music and my energies to fight the same kind of twisted philosophies, ignorance and hatred that brought the towers down and killed so many
innocent people.

I've loved those towers and what they stood for ever since I was a little kid, entranced by the sight of them as I rode with my family up The Garden State Parkway, traveling from Maryland to Upstate New York to visit relatives for Thanksgiving. My resolve to do whatever good I can has only deepened as a result of this evil.

A SLIGHT DETOUR

When I left Chelsea Piers loaded with 60 cases of gatorade, 50 cases of water and 25 grocery bags full of fresh fruit and a few US Marines in civilian clothes, I didn't even realize that in the chaos of the moment, Roberta (the official who sent me to ground zero), a wonderful woman who seemed to be doing 10 things simultaneously, hadn't given me any emergency tag or pass to go into the restricted area. When I arrived at the well-guarded checkpoint, shortly after being cheered by a large crowd waving American flags on West Side Highway, a police officer halted my van and asked me what did I think I was doing (I was the only civilian vehicle in a rather long procession of utility trucks, emergency, police and official vehicles). I told him I had been sent from Chelsea Piers to deliver cold drinks and fruit to firemen at ground zero. He asked for my pass- I told him I hadn't been given one, and that I had assumed my vehicle description and mission had been radioed ahead and cleared (In your mind, picture this long-haired "dude" driving a beat up 1985 conversion van trying to explain to an understandably suspicious police officer why he was trying to get into the restricted area without a pass). He got on the radio for a moment, then ordered me to make a left.

I remember thinking "This is odd, all the other vehicles are going straight ahead." I complied with his directive by turning left and heading down the block, when the van was suddenly swarmed by about 25 very serious looking FBI and ATF agents with handguns and automatic weapons drawn. These were some of the scariest looking guys I had ever seen, and they clearly meant business. One guy looked as though he'd been chiseled out of rock: I'm guessing around 6 foot 6 inches and 275 pounds of nothing but muscle.

The FBI Agent who was in charge ordered me to put my hands up and slowly step out of the vehicle. One by one, so were the others. They were taken to the back of the van while I was frisked against the driver's side. Rapid-fire questions and commands filled the air, and I answered and complied as quickly as possible. Agents were talking on radios and conducting various fact gathering activities. I heard one of the Marines who came with me state emphatically that he had just met me and another say "I was just trying to help out, I didn't know the guy was wanted!"

They searched the entire van, opened the hood and all doors, removed the cases of drinks and checked the underside. They had my license but were having trouble finding my registration, which was in a small plastic bag between the seats under a few bags of fruit. I was ordered to very slowly go inside the vehicle and retrieve my registration. While the agent in charge held my left hand and kept his gun pointed at my side, I leaned inside the van and reached between the seats, fumbling under the bags of fruit. I looked up and noticed an M-16 rifle pointed at my head through the passenger side window, just in case I were to try anything stupid.

These guys were at war, and they seemed to be on such high a state of hair-trigger alertness that If I had suddenly grabbed an apple and yelled "Praise Allah!," I probably would have had more holes in me than a Swiss cheese. I noticed the line of fire was carefully coordinated so that the agents couldn't have accidentally shot each other if the need for deadly force became necessary. When my hand found the bag, I announced this fact and was ordered to place it on the ground and get back against the vehicle.

They checked my registration and tags. The Special Agent in charge asked me, "You've got a Tennessee license, Florida tags, you're living on Long Island, you've got a parking pass for a hotel in the city and you're trying to get into ground zero- What's wrong with this picture?" I truthfully explained to him my situation as a "financially challenged" musician who's rambled all over the country playing music, and that I came to New York to pursue a songwriting career, had been in the city to play a gig when the attack happened, and felt it was my duty to help the firefighters in any way possible. He accepted my answer with a puzzled look and got back on the radio. He then told me that my name, social security number, license number and tag number was in the process of being searched for matches in every law enforcement database in the universe. The whole thing lasted what I believe to be around twenty minutes.

After completing the search and clearing everyone of any criminal activity or warrants, the Special Agent in charge became as friendly as he had been intimidating. He said he was sorry if they had scared any of us. He told me there was a citywide alert to be on the lookout for a suspicious van with Florida tags, tied with several threats to blow bridges and tunnels or detonate a bomb at ground zero. He stated that they had no choice under the circumstances but to detain us and investigate whether or not we posed a threat. Made perfect sense to me. I told him that I was very proud of the job they were doing, and hadn't the slightest problem with the way they conducted themselves.

They quickly sent us on our way to the disaster site, as they went on about their business of protecting America without hesitation. If those agents had encountered a terrorist with a bomb that day, I feel confident they would have neutralized the scum. I wasn't angry with those guys, I was proud of them, and prouder to be an American Citizen. They conducted their investigation of me and my van with the highest degree of professionalism.

They successfully balanced my rights with society's rights. They brought honor to their agencies and to their country. I salute them and will never forget why them and their colleagues are so important to the preservation of our way of life.

WHEN COLD WAS MORE PRECIOUS THAN GOLD

After my interesting encounter with federal law enforcement agents, I didn't have any further difficulties getting into the restricted area. I guess they recognized me- I was just waved through or they'd ask me for a gatorade. I made 3 more trips to ground zero from Chelsea Piers that day and into the early morning hours, loading up with ice and beverages and food, becoming a "rolling canteen" for officers and national guard troops who'd been stationed at street corners throughout lower Manhattan for God knows how many hours. Most of the firefighters, officers and troops I came in contact with were very thirsty, to say the least. A few places where I stopped did have drinks that weren't cold, so they were pretty glad to see me and my stocked coolers.

FREE CDS AT 1 AM

I was dropping a large load of ice and cold drinks at The Municipal building in lower Manhattan, when one of the guys helping me unload noticed my guitar amplifier sitting in the van. He asked me what kind of music I played, so I asked him if he wanted a CD. Then another guy wanted one, and another... I had a box of 50 CDs that I'd planned to give away at my now canceled gig at CBGB's Gallery on the lower East Side. My attitude was, "Well, I came to this city with full intention to give these CDs to away, to Hell with the terrorists, If these guys want my music, they got it." 50 CDs were gone in less than a minute.

A GRASS ROOTS SUPPLY CAMPAIGN

I am thankful that Dan Panitz, Sr. of Human Service Centers had enough faith in my initial intelligence reports to deputize me, as well as his son Damian and one of his security guards, Robert Rodriguez, and move swiftly to secure large quantities of donated products: saline, inhalers, nebulizers, benadryl, medical tape, bandages, flashlights, food, water and gatorade, as well as some important things that were notably absent at ground zero in the early stages of the rescue effort, like visine, contact lens wash, energy bars, ice and several kinds of over the counter medications.

I am proud of the fact that we brought in these needed items in all the pain, confusion and chaos of the first few days, setting up temporary pharmacies and convenience stores at the foot of the wreckage, supplying triage centers, placing items in the hands of the people who needed them immediately (with the help of the administration and staff of Human Service Centers, Inc., with the generous donations of CVS, Walgreens, Duane Reade, Home Depot, Elmhurst Drugs, the folks at Chelsea Piers and others- and with the blessing and cooperation of The Mayor's office and F.E.M.A.), complimenting larger, more complex supply efforts until safe warehouse space could be found and mass distribution of supplies could become fully efficient.

Seeing true heroes in action with my own eyes was unbelievable. I was in awe, and it was an honor and a privilege to be one of the people who served them. I don't know why, but something told me that me and my van could make a difference, and though it was just a small difference, I believe it made things a bit easier for a few people. I am also very proud of Michele, she was absolutely terrified and did not want me to go to ground zero, yet she found the strength to help out, gathering supplies for me to deliver.

CAN'T WASH AWAY THE PAIN

I saw some things at ground zero that will never leave me. I saw the results of hatred, I smelled and walked in a mass grave of mass murder. I saw things that I've written songs and lyrics about for the last five years, and feared would happen, become a reality and a recurring nightmare. The first time I had a chance to take a shower, early Thursday morning before dawn, it occurred to me in the most horrifying way that not only was I washing away asbestos, dirt, chemicals and sweat, I was also washing away the ashes of incinerated human beings who once lived, loved and breathed just like me, and have families who love and miss them dearly. The equivalent of 15 showers at 4 am one morning, and I couldn't wash away the smell of death.

This was devastating. It's still devastating.

ONE LIBERTY PLAZA

On Wednesday and Thursday afternoon, and again on Thursday night, I was working across the street from where Tower 2 once stood- at One Liberty Plaza, a monolithic fifty story skyscraper that was, at that time, believed to have sustained significant damage to its foundation. On one occasion when the area was evacuated, I was handing out stuff to a company of weary firemen who were taking a much deserved break when a horrifyingly loud crack got our undivided attention. Seconds later, I heard a voice through a bullhorn screaming "Go, Go, Go, Go, Go, Go!!!" and so began a major "run for your lives" scenario. It looked just like you would think it to look- total chaos. I abandoned my van, which was parked at the building's side entrance.

When I got a "safe" distance, I caught my breath, praying that everyone had made it out of the area O.K.. I heard all kinds of stuff- some said the building's collapse was imminent, the street was in danger of caving in, the building had shifted, etc. We later found out that One Liberty Plaza was structurally sound, just a lot of broken windows. And the loud crack was just a nearby crane winning a fight with a huge steel beam. Even though the building didn't fall, the whole experience was so powerful, I still have vivid dreams where I'm watching One Liberty Plaza toppling over into other buildings like a giant domino.

A ROUGH THREE MONTHS

I've dealt with this tragedy through my music, and by talking to others about what I went through and what they went through, but I also held many things inside for so long and tried to "move on" before I was ready. I only recently "saw" what this strategy was doing to me inside and out. I thought I'd be strong enough to just keep going and stay busy, but just before the holidays I had a minor physical and emotional breakdown, so I am taking this opportunity to tell my story in a continuing effort to respond to my anger and sadness in a positive and healing way. Also, I'm too busy these days to feel this bad- I have had two colds, lingering sinusitis, and a bad case of bronchitis, which I finally got over with the help of Biaxin.

I've never been so sick or felt so tired over a three month span. Flying back and forth between New York and Florida, trying to write and record a new 14 song album didn't allow me to have much time to recharge, and I just couldn't seem to shake it off. I'm very lucky though- my chest x-ray showed nothing major, and I've been given a complete physical and blood analysis. Everything came out fine, just irritated lungs, an overworked immune system and mental exhaustion. I wonder- If I've felt this bad, what about the guys who've been there for months? I pray for them.

I BELIEVE

In the hijacker's cowardly actions born of a mindless, idiotic allegiance to a living demon's warped, convenient and self-defeating ideology, we witnessed the lowest depths of evil, the very worst of Mankind. Within the wreckage they caused, I witnessed the very best of Mankind. I also experienced what I'm convinced were some powerful signs from God, which Dan, Sr. and I recently wrote a song about, entitled "I Believe." (The Lyrics are posted at this web site)

One of these signs was a black and white picture of a statue. The untitled photo had a Mother Mary and baby Jesus look to it, and I saw every mother and infant who ever lived. In contrast to the nightmare surrounding me, this beautiful image very powerfully represented human innocence and unconditional love. I found it as I walked alone, crying in the darkness through a graveyard of crushed police and rescue vehicles, some with their headlights and radios still on. It was just before midnight on the 12th, and having been separated from my vehicle as a result of the earlier evacuation, I was just wandering through the streets around ground zero for a couple of hours, praying and taking in every facet of this crime, getting a graphic and firsthand taste of the fruits of evil so I can be a witness for those who weren't there to see it up close. So I can describe, to my son and anyone willing to listen, my eyewitness accounting of the depths of depravity and ignorance some humans are willing to dive down to.

I looked up into the night and asked God to somehow let me know that he was with me at this valley of the shadow of death, and that he still cared about this world he created. I thought about the Holocaust and about big and small acts of evil and indifference throughout history, and wondered if God had given up on this world somewhere along the way. Not 5 minutes later, as I turned a street corner, something caught my eye. It was the photo- completely untouched in a pile of ash and burnt papers and lit up by a beam of light from one of the huge lights set up over the disaster site. I picked it up and felt the presence of thousands of souls... and God.

Not a vengeful God, not an intolerant God... simply a loving spiritual force beyond full comprehension who created us with the free will to choose a path of good or evil in this life. It was one of the most incredible moments in all my life. Right up there with the time I first laid eyes on my son. The photo is now in the hands of the folks in charge of the World Trade Center Memorial, in case they wish to attempt to locate its owner or find a home for it.

On Thursday, coming back into Manhattan loaded with supplies, I had another extraordinary experience...

As the first shades of dusk began to fall, I was waved through a checkpoint manned by national guardsmen with automatic weapons... I proceeded westward, crossing the Brooklyn Bridge, which was eerily empty - an army Humvee was the only other vehicle on the darkened bridge, which normally bustles with heavy traffic at the end of any given day. As I headed into a lower Manhattan that was devoid of any electricity or lights, I could not reconcile the familiar sight of the World Trade Center's towering domination of New York's skyline with the empty space that now silently and tragically existed before me. I asked God to please wake me from this nightmare... And I believe He answered me... again.

I looked beyond the tower's absence and noticed the sky. It was the deepest, calmest, bluest blue I have ever seen. Words cannot fully describe just how blue and inspiring it was. I now know what it feels like to experience every human emotion at the same time, at its most intense level.

The signs I saw have given me strength to get through the extreme sadness and anger I am still dealing with, as I know many of you are, too. Though I will never forgive the evil ones who perpetrated this crime against humanity, and will never forget the unimaginable death and destruction I witnessed at our nation's darkest hour, I was glad to be of service to some of America's finest and bravest men and women. Thanks to America's true heroes... Those who are willing to make the ultimate sacrifice so others may live, and be free. Sometimes they don't make it back home. May God Bless those lost on 9/11, and their loved ones, and our emergency personnel, and our troops... I dedicate this story to them.

PEACE, And God Bless America.
Todd Shea, January 5, 2002


I BELIEVE
By Daniel R. Panitz &amp; Todd Shea

As I walk through this canyon of sorrow
I cry for countless stolen tomorrows
In this graveyard of a million hopes and dreams
I can feel thousands of souls all around me

I search for truth and light in these streets of death
For a sign from God at this man-made gate to hell
When a beam of light illuminates the dark
And a vision of mother and child fills my eyes and my heart

A picture of a statue lying in the ashes of hate
A message of hope and faith to give me strength
Untouched in this destruction... not a scratch
And laid down in the dust by the Lord's gentle hand

I believe one day God will set us free
And these wandering souls will find eternal peace
I believe one day the world will find its destiny
And many thousand silenced voices
Are with me as I sing? I believe

When the blackest night gave way to the dawn
The morning sun revealed so many reasons to carry on
Upon devastation hill, among the pain and loss
In the twisted steel there stands a perfect cross

While our heroes search for our fallen sisters and brothers
Risking life to bring home a child, husband or wife, father or mother
A peace came over me that I had never known
As I realized I've never walked alone

For I looked beyond the empty spaces in the city skyline
And the ones who reigns in love gave me yet another sign
The bluest sky my eyes ever gazed upon
Fluorescent, deep and unmistakably from God

I believe one day God will set us free
And these wandering souls will find eternal peace
I believe one day the world will find its destiny
And many thousand silenced voices
Will be with us as we sing? I believe

Through the fires born of evil intention
Thousands of souls make their ascension.
Leaving behind a world that grieves for them
Saying good bye to loved ones, until they meet again

?2001 Human Service Entertainment, Inc.


A POEM, WRITTEN ON 9/11
The Evil One Will Never Win
(Dedicated Those Lost)
By Daniel R. Panitz &amp; Todd Shea

Our nation's horizon has been changed forever
And millions cry for the fallen ones
In deepest grief we mourn together
An unspeakable act we prayed would never come to be
Has now been so viciously perpetrated on our great country

The Demon cast a sinister shadow of terror and deception
And carved a path of destruction, with twisted, sick intention
This Monster believes he's won, by striking at our hearts
But he will never tear our souls apart

This ploy to destroy the fiber of our faith
And choke the breath out of peaceful days
In the end, will be yet another failure for the disciples of hate
All they've accomplished is today's sadness
They've done nothing to help their causes with this madness

The time has come to vanquish the evil beings
Who aim to murder mankind's hope
For they've now tied the end of their own rope
Never again will we hesitate
Never will we allow evil to be the master of our fate

Though our lives will never be the same
This nation will never be any devil's domain
Never again will we allow the beast to send its serpents by air, land, or sea
Our brave forces of justice shall remain a constant sentry
We will stand together as one,
With Liberty And Justice for all under the Sun

This 911 date is recorded in infamy
As now these cowards join the shameful ranks
Of all who've tried to bring down democracy.
With their lies and deeds of hypocrisy
This evil deed will not succeed
Our children will live their lives
And this nation will survive
For we will never give in to the Stalins
the Hitlers, the Pol Pots, McVeighs and bin Ladens

Today the world cries out 911
And stands against this crime as one
For those who hate will one day be vanquished for all time
By Kingdome come, Thy will be done
On Earth as it is in Heaven
Let the healing begin
For the evil one will never win

?2001 Human Service Entertainment, Inc.



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              <text>   I have no personally tragic story from 9/11.  I lost no loved ones in either of the towers.  None of my friends were any of the brave men and women on the plane that crashed in PA.  And I don't know anybody who works at the Pentagon.  I know people who's boyfriends or girlfriends or husbands or cousins, etc. died, God rest there souls, but I have no direct loss.  However, I am still hit by the disgust I felt at 9am on Tuesday Sept 11th 2001.  I worked as a server at an IHOP at the time, and had to be at work at 9:00.  So I was walking to work when the first plane hit.  After I arrived and dressed myself for the shift, an co-worker tells me "A plane crashed into one of the WTC towers," and of-course... I didn't believe him.  So he pulls his phone out to show me the news update on his phone to prove ONE plane had hit when the update got UPDATED and we found out about the second plane.  
   There were a lot of customers in the restaraunt at this time and no one had any idea what was going on, they just saw all of the servers bunched up in the smoking section trying to make a paperclip work as an antenae on a TV.  I told what customers I got over the next few minutes,  and they either left or joined the servers around the TV just in time for the UPDATE of the Pentagon attack.  
   I stepped outside to have cigarette a few moments later and in a 5 minute perod saw a half dozen jets and 4 choppers fly just overhead.  Of course, all of us were speculating and saying we were at war and were under attack, but after seeing the attacks on TV and our military move into action and patroling the air so quickly, there was no doubt in my mind that life as Americans knew it was about to change forever.
   I later found out that my father was supposed to be in the Pentagon doing some electrical construction at 930, but was stuck in rush hour traffic and saw the whole thing go down from a bridge a few blocks away.
   I thought it was amazing how we, as Americans, pulled together  in the face of terror and horror and united as one.... For about six months.  If only we could have kept it up.  You see, our global unity ended with the dropping of the first bomb and the first rounds shot off by any soldier. Americans were back to being Americans... Tougher than anyone else. And to prove it, we'll bomb the hell out of you.  And when people see these kinds of actions by our leaders, of course they're gonna say things like "F--kin Towel heads" and tell people to get the hell out of "OUR COUNTRY", as if we didn't migrate here in hopes of a better life to at some point.  
   Humanity is all about what happened after the attacks of 9/11/01. Now if we could just remember how we felt on September 12th, 2001, and try to have that same sense of Patriotism and Humanity, then and only then, will we be able to say UNITED WE STAND.  
   Thank you for reading my rant.  Never Forget..........
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              <text>I remember wanting to reach out and hold all my loved one close....never let them go.....Then I remembered that God was holding me at that very moment...Also, I relized what was really important....TODAY!!
Live one day at a time and make it a MASTERPEICE, DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF...Light switch just went off in my head...although I had heard those sayings befor,I really did'nt know what they ment until 9-11.
Ant it good to be alive and be in the USA..
Thank you for ALL you do...I'M GRATEFUL:)</text>
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              <text>It was such a beautiful morning, I was in a good mood traveling to work.  I worked for a large Financial Services Firm and had just kicked off our campus recruiting season.  The night before we had our first campus presentation at Rutgers University.  I remember the sky opened up and it poured like crazy!  Regardless the presentation to the students was successful, and it motivated me to charge ahead with this new season.  The week prior and the week of the 11th I had meetings scheduled with our management team in preparation for their roles at the different campus events.  September 6th was the last time I trudged through WTC to 222 Broadway for one of those meetings.  I had intended to return to 222 on 9/11 in the am, but thought since the first presentation was the night before, and knew it would be a long day, I postponed it to 9/13.  Had I not, I would have been stepping off the PATH train into the WTC at a time of utter chaos.  Instead I was driving to the Light Rail in Jersey City, when I noticed smoke pouring out of the WTC after the first plane hit.  I wasn't quite sure what I was looking at, but proceeded to park and get on the train that would take me to 101 Hudson St. directly across the river from WTC.  In the process I called me husband (NYPD OFFICER) who was at home thank GOD, to see if anything was on the news, but nothing yet;  then there was breaking news, but we still couldn't comprehend what was happening, so I told him I'd call him later.  As we rode the train, we all were staring out the window at the WTC.  A few times the train stopped, we got off then back on. Finally the train wouldn't go any further, and we walked the rest of the way to our building.  I then saw both towers burning, and people running.  I went into my building, and saw from the window the towers burning.  An image that was so horrific I've blocked it from my mind.  I was scared then, called my husband and left the building.  I eventually made it to my car, turned around and saw the first tower fall, or so I thought.  Then I drove like a mad woman to get home to my husband, not knowing when I'd be able to see him, only to get stuck in Bayonne because the bridge was closed.  I pleaded with him on the phone not to go into the city, but he had other concerns as he hadn't heard from his brother (also NYPD) who was working downtown.
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              <text>It started out as a beautiful day. That morning I dropped my children off at school and went to my sisters to have coffee with her. She was on her way dropping her children off to school. We met at her house and she said that the radio announced a plane hit the world trade center, I then called my husbands cell phone to locate him because he took the path train to work. The cell phones and telephones were not working. We were concerned because our younger brother worked there. Within minutes our sister-in-law called to ask if we heard from our brother. We said no. He worked on the 93rd floor of tower one, but was at a meeting on 98th.We knew he didn't get out. My husband on the other hand was in the Battery Tunnel. They approached the Manhattan side and saw a lot of smoke coming into the tunnel, he ran for his life back to Brooklyn. He said it looked like something from Independence Day (the movie). He made it home Thank God. I feel my brother was in there with him helping him get out safely. I pray to God that my brother did not suffer. He left behind a wife three children all of young age. His son will never know him he was nly a year old. His other two are little girls one is 7 yrs and the other is 5yrs. And agian I pray to God that he did not suffer. God Bless America.</text>
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              <text>One Day 

We all became one. 
One body in grief,
One color in the human race.
One day on September 11, 2001.

The day I realized we didn't own an American Flag. 
Lives we will never forget. 
Moms, dads, sons, brothers, sisters
taken too soon, 
One day on September 11, 2001.

I say a prayer now when I board a flight.
I say a prayer for our nation
I am more aware of my freedom. 
I am so proud I am an American. 
One day on September 11, 2002. 
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              <text>it was the hardin simmons president inaugeration.  we were to get free chapel credit if we went.  when i get there at 10 o'clock, they start praying for the people in new york and their families.  i had no idea what we were praying for.  i sat through the whole cerimonies and did't think about it again.  latter that day i went to get my oil changed.  there was a crowd around the samll tv.on the screen there was a reporter with a lot of smoke behind him.  then i knew.  i was in shock.  speechless.  about a minute after i saw that my mom called me from snyder.  she asked how i was doing.  i said i just found out.  she talked to me for awhile, and then told me to go get gas.  it was $5 a gallon in lubbock and on its way is what she said.  latter i had to go to practice.  on the golf course i was not able to concentrate.  the events keep flashing through my head.  my college experience will forever be altered and remebered for this.  9-11 will go down in the history books, but more importantly in will go down in the hearts and the mind of the world as the "attack on america"</text>
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              <text>I had dropped off my son, Matthew, at middle school and was heading to work @ 8:30 AM.  Because we had been talking, I had turned off the car radio.

I work in a garden center, and we were in the process of opening the store at 8:50 AM, when the manager came in to the store and said he had heard on the radio that a plane had hit the WTC in New York.  We turned on the TV in the store (usually used for showing demo videos to customers) and were watching NBC's coverage of the "accident", when we saw the second plane hit the second tower.  At that time I think we all began to believe that these were deliberate acts of violence.

The employees took turns watching the TV coverage, alternating between shock and grief.  How could this be happening in our country?

Then we heard about the third plane hitting the Pentagon.
One of my sisters works in Alexandria, VA, and I knew her husband worked for the Justice Dept., but I didn't know where his office was located.

I called my husband, who was in a meeting and had not heard about the attacks.  I could barely talk through my fear and my tears.  I had a huge knot in my stomach and swallowing was difficult.  After hanging up the phone, I immediately tried to call my sister at home, but I couldn't get through.
I called my mother in Stephens City, VA, to see if she had heard from my sister, but she hadn't.  She promised to call me as soon as she did hear anything.

We continued to watch the news coverage, and soon heard the report of a plane crashing in PA.  Initial reports were confusing, with some stations claiming the plane had been shot down to prevent it from reaching Washington, DC.

At this point I looked for a quiet place to be alone and I began to pray.  I prayed for the safety of my sister and her husband, for the people in the buildings hit, and the people on the planes.  I prayed for the families across this country who were waiting, like me, to hear from family members or friends.  

The rest of the day was one of shock as the estimated death toll increased, as the images were replayed, and as I tried to hide my worries about my sister.  I couldn't tear myself away from the TV or radio coverage.

My sister and her husband were safe, although they had a difficult time getting home to their children.  The friends I knew who had relatives in NY or DC also reported good news.  But I will never forget the hours of not knowing, nor the fear I felt for days afterwards.  The sound of a low-flying plane still makes my heart stop as I search the sky.  And my heart continues to ache for the families and friends of the thousands who died that day.  I pray that their pain is eased by the knowledge that so many people continue to pray for them.</text>
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              <text>I remember September 11th 2001 like it was yesterday, it was a Tuesday morning, and I had a class at 10:30am.  Like any other college student, I liked to sleep as late as I could, then hurry to campus at the last possible moment so that I wouldn?t be late. So I was a little upset when the loud ring from the telephone interrupted my REM cycles.  I somehow made it to the phone, still wishing I were back in bed.  The man on the phone asked for my roommate, it was his dad.  I told him he was asleep, but that I guess I could wake him up, still a little confused as to why my roommate?s dad needed to talk to him at 9 in the morning. The man on the other end seemed distraught; I asked him what was the matter.  He asked me if I knew that one of the World Trade Towers had just been bombed.  Still, in partially a sleepy mood, this did not register with me. I knocked on my roommate?s door and after waking him up, he impatiently said to come into his room and I told him the news and he took the phone and spoke with his dad.  I then turned on the TV; sure enough I was bombarded with news on every channel highlighting this morning?s events. I stayed glued to the TV as I watched what replays they had of the day unfold in front of my eyes.  As I was watching, I saw the plane crash into the second tower. It was so scary. I had no idea who was behind this or what would posses someone to do this.  For some strange reason, I did not think this was going to turn out to be as big of a deal that it really is.  I mean the Towers had been attacked before and there was the Oklahoma City bombing, but I never expected what happened on September 11th to escalate to what it is like today. I headed off to campus to make it to Geography class, as I drove I heard fire trucks continuously in the distance. I tried to call my mom, dad, and grandparents, but my cell phone was not getting any service.  Two minutes into Geography, my professor cancelled class because her husband worked in the Pentagon and she could not get in touch with him (turns out he was fine).  I was so scared; here I was no less than twenty miles away from the Pentagon, and not able to get in touch with my family.  I quickly found the TV?s in the Johnson Center and sat for hours with the rest of the concerned student body as we watched the replays and latest updates on ?The Attack on America?.  I was most scared because my dad was traveling that day and he was supposed to be on a business flight out of Boston that morning at 7 am, and I didn?t know where he was, if his plane had to make an emergency stop, or if he was even ok (he was fine, his plane was forced to land somewhere in Florida).  I left campus and came back to my apartment where I finally got in touch with my family and I sat and watched the television for seriously the next ten hours.  I was educated about this bin Laden guy, possible theories, and strange coincidences (911= 09/11). I remember September 11th 2001 like it was yesterday, and I will always remember that day for as long as I live, for it was the day that changed the way that I, and every other American and nationality live.</text>
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              <text>we were siting just on any normal day so we thought, as to our surprise. we could not fathum what happened, all we could do at that terible moment in time was look at each other and cry, for all those families lost due to someone else and the ignorance of their decisions on that day. I contuinally pray for all the families that have suffered through this ordeal. I as an American am angry for all of this ignorance that there is so much hate in our society today and not enough peace. I just hope and pray that our children which are our future, can learn from other peoples ignorance and also refelct on it. There's always going to be ignorant people in our society, but, hopefully we as people not just Americans can learn from the stupidy of others.
                                        Thank you;
                                       Sincerely;
                                             Ann Harding
                                         Proud to be an AMERICAN:</text>
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              <text>What I feel badly about is that I have no connection to anyone that suffered the loss of a friend a wife a husband or anyone. 
  the sorrow i feel is for the familys that are left..so many for so many cultures..so many 
What i do know is this..any god does not forgive murders
  any god loves emrasses anyone that condones love no matter what religion
what i do know is this...i take strenght in the familys from the gaza srip to the gettos of the bronks to thechildren of ireland to the hindus and shieks to every mother and father of a child  to any grandparent to every grandchild....keep your love alive..dont let hate infect
what i do know is this
  we as parents and grandparents are responsible for our childrens behavior
My love to all that have lost
           dave
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              <text>It was 8:00 A.M and instead of parking my car at the office to get into a car with my then fiance to start our journey into the city, we were just leaving the house.

See our intention was be in the city at 9:00 AM so that we could be at city hall as it opened to get our marriage license for our wedding on Sept 29th. 

Something kept us in bed that morning about 1/2 hour longer than we wanted. Tired? Lazy? Whatever it was, it was the difference. As we pulled near my office to drop off my car, which would have meant another 1/2 hour ride to the PATH and then the 15 minute train ride into the city. I was in the car and I heard the news on the radio. It was impossible to understand the levity of the situation. As I arrived at the office and began to try to understand what had happened and what alternate plans we should make to get into the city, the second plane hit and I knew this was bad. 

Shock, fear, sadness and anger all overtook my being as horror reigned down on the city. I was suppose to be there. My sister works in Mid-town and now the main focus was making sure she was out of the city OK. 

It was a day marked by so many emotions. A day and evening spent with close friends. A week shaped by phone calls, news of friends lost and miraculous stories bigger than ours. A month shaped by a wedding that was planned in SOHO and guests scheduled to stay downtown now needing to be rebooked and moved, but how it did not seem important. 

For us it worked out. We are safe, our wedding went on and every day life moves forward. It's impossible to forget all of those who do not have that opportunity. </text>
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Premonitions/Coincidence/Fate&#13;
&#13;
NY:3&#13;
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              <text>I had just moved to Florida about two weeks prior to the attacks to do the College Program with Walt Disney World.  I still was a little hesitant about being away from home (which is in Wisconsin) and to awake to the terrorist attacks on the U.S. just made that feeling worse.  My roomate and I were sleeping when her boyfriend called to tell us the news.  We immediately turned on the TV and just sat there and stared as the second plane had hit the towers.  Then it was the Pentagon and the Pennsylvania field.  It just didn't seem like it was going to stop and it didn't.  We got several phone calls from our bosses and other Disney personnel that Walt Disney World was going to close the parks.  We were astounded because this was the second time in history that Disney shut down.  We weren't sure what the cause of this was, but there were several rumors about Walt Disney being on the hit list.  We were scared.  I was scared.  I had family in New York that worked right by the towers.  I called home to tell them I was okay and to see if they had heard anything from my cousin.  Not a word and I just started to imagine the worse.  By this time the towers had fell and more and more tears came running down my cheeks.  I was numb, but knew that since I worked in one of Disney's resorts I would have to go to work and deal with the thousand of people and their questions.  What would I say to them?  How do I help them cope and keep them busy so they aren't thinking about the US being under attack?  It was a difficult time at work, but we all made it through.  We turned to complete strangers to look for comfort and to have our who,what, why questions answered.  However, those questions couldn't be answered.  I remember going home after work and trying to cope with what happened.  You would think it was a dream....a bad dream!
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