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I had a 9 O'Clock class that day in Intro
 American Government. I had not seen the news
 before entering class and heard about the airline crash
as I came out of class. I immediately tried to find out more info on
 online, but the lines were jammed. Finally, I went out and
bought a radio so everyone in the dept. could hear what was
happening. 

Like everyone else, I was stunned and the rest of the day
 was spent watching the events on tv ond talking through 
the events with friends. The deliberate, single-mindedness
of the act struck us all as hard as the number of deaths.
There was no goal to the destruction-no hostages to release,
no policy to change, no specific act to protest. People
died because they were in a building which was a symbol of
America to fanatics.

The university held multi-faith candle-light vigils and a
 series of symposiums on Islam, Terrorism, and American
 policies to help people deal with the event. The aftershocks
are still occuring, but the initial question remains
unanswered: What kind of mind plans and condones such an
unprovoked attack on innocent people because they are
different.</text>
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              <text>I had slept over at a friend's house the night previous to the 9-11 tragedy.  My roomate actually called me at my friends that morning and left a message on the answering machine that we had been "attacked."  When I got in my car to go home and get ready for work, I quickly turned on the radio to NPR.  I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  I immediately knew that this was the beginning of something that wouldn't be resolved quickly or easily.  They had set up televisions throughout the hospital I work in, and people stared in disbelief at the images they were seeing.  The obvious questions were asked, and unfortunateley there were no obvious answers.  A year later I still feel like I am searching for the words to describe how I feel about the events that day.  I yearn for a way to put them into a personal as well as historical perspective.  Perhaps that day represents an "end of innocence" for Americans, however, the renaissance of patriotism engendered by that day shows that we have emerged more resolute and convinced that our values are worthy and just.  There is one last thing I would like to express: historians of the future will examine this day and attempt to bear out causes and effects, but let them take notice that we didn't back down and that we found strength in adversity.  </text>
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              <text>I am a Southern California native, but on the morning of September 11, 2001 I was in Henderson, Nevada on a business trip.  Lucky for me I was staying with my Mother and Father in law with my 3 month old son.  I was just getting ready to get up for work when the phone rang.  It was my husband, "Are you watching the T.V.?" he asked.  I hardly ever turn the T.V. on in the morning because I get too distracted and always run late. He told me that planes had hit the World Trade Center in New York and one also hit the Pentagon.  Of course like many other Americans, I was in shock.  The first person I thought of was my Uncle who works on Wall Street.  I have only been in Manhattan once, so I just couldn't picture where exactly his office was, but praying that it wasn't the WTC.  After several frantic attempts on calling him, there was nothing when the call would go through.  It was just an eerie silence or sometimes a busy signal.  Miracously my husband had his pager number which was an 800 number, so it wasn't dialing directly into Manhattan.  I paged him, waiting anxiously, he called back within 2 minutes.  I couldn't even speak when I heard his voice, finally I said, "I have never been so happy to talk to you!!"  He cried.  He said he could see the smoke and the top of the WTC towers from his building.  They were told to stay put.  He said he would call back when he could.  I called all my family to tell them I had spoken with him and they were just as relieved as myself.  He called back about an hour later and said that they were evacuating, he wouldn't know when he could talk to me next, but that he would be okay.  
When my son woke up I hugged him so close.  It truly made me realize how special he is and how lucky I was to have flown in the night before.  I missed my husband desperately that day, we must have talked a hundred times.  Since the airports were closed we decided he would drive to Henderson to pick us up and we would drive home on the weekend.  I was lucky to have picked up a rental car the night before because by Tuesday afternoon they were all gone!
About 5 hours later my Uncle called me back and said he just got home.  He walked home from Wall Street to Brooklyn.  He said it was an eerie long walk.  Not many people talking just staring and sobbing in disbelief.

All I can say is that a year later it still seems like it happened yesterday.  I pray that it never happens again and that our country always stay as united as we are now.  WE ARE THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA! </text>
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              <text>About 9 a.m. I  had my picture in picture on my webtv, probably of the weather channel and in came an email from my Israeli pen pal asking what was going on here. I switched to CNN and saw the first of the towers on fire, called everyone I could think of and listened to the musings of possible radar problems as the second plane hit right on my screen.  I knew something very big was up then. 

I can't forget the eeriness up here on the Upper West Side the next day.  No traffic and pedestrians going about quite dazed at what had happened to our town.  Of course just then, we weren't sure what might happen next.

It so happens I saw and spoke to Fr. Mychal Judge for the first time in quite a while just outside the 9th avenue seminary the Friday before he perished.  I was back to the same corner the next week after he died with nothing but the fighter jets circling ominously.</text>
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              <text>That day started as any normal working day for me. I work for BAE Systems, a major defense manufacturer. Sometime about nine a co-worker came up to me and told me a plane had struck the one of the World Trade buildings. I did not make too much of it, thinking it was just a small plane off course. He then told me that the another plane had struck the second tower.
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I got home that night grateful to be with my wife and two young sons and with a deep sense of regret and sadness for all the families who had lost loved ones.
I later found out that a prior co-worker of mine, Dipti Patel, perished that terrible day. We started working at BAE Systems(then called Loral Fairchild)the exact same day(November 5, 1989).
Since the I have been down to the site of the World Trade Center twice. The first time was in February and I stood there on Church street with my mouth open for about 10 minutes. What a vast empty space-what happened to those two beautiful buildings and surrounding concourse?
I passed the site again this past May as part of the NYC 5 Borough Bike Tour and found my feelings being directed more toward rage and anger toward the demonic, satanic cowards responsible for this heinous crime.  
I want to urge everyone to read "Last Man Down" by Joe Piciotto. It was because of the brave, heroic men like him that so many people were rescued that day.     </text>
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              <text>I was in the locker room of the local YMCA,getting ready for my morning workout, and a man called everyone over to the television.  I watched CNN as the second plane hit the South Tower, and decided I'd better head home and wait for the call.  I was trained as a critical incident counselor, working for an international crisis response organization and volunteering for the Red Cross, and I spent much of the next three months counseling families and survivors.

The people of New York didn't feel what the terrorists wanted them to feel.  The predominant emotion I found in New York in the months after 9/11 was not fear or even anger.  I found only a profound grief, and deep compassion for those who were still in the buildings when they came tumbling down.  I found love.</text>
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              <text>I am a reporter for the Daily American in Somerset.

Three years ago, a series of tornadoes damaged our county and caused three deaths. I thought we'd never face a greater disaster. I was wrong.

I was on another assignment when United Airlines Flight 93 crashed. When I heard about it, I returned to the Daily American office.

Editor Jim Oliver assigned me to go to the emergency management office of the courthouse. We later heard that the families of those killed in the crash would be going to Seven Springs Resort. I went to the resort in case any wanted to make statements to the press.

A family room was reserved for them. Staff put up banners and drawings made by local schools. We were told when the families came, they took photographs and wrote down the comments because they were so touched.

A media room was set up. More than 30 television stations and newspapers from the U.S., Canada and England were there. The first family member I heard was Gorden Felt, the brother of passenger Edward Felt. I was deeply moved.

When I went to a press conference near the crash site, I was surprised at how it looked. It didn't look like a crash site, it looked like a mine reclamation site. The family and public memorials were very touching.

Since then, I have done numerous stories, interviewing emergency responders, psychologists and others who have worked with the families. They all said the families wanted to give their thanks to the local people.

That is also what they said when they were here for the six month anniversary. One mother said the people responded like "a herd of angels."

People have said they are sad that our beautiful county is now associated with such a tragic event. But one psychiatrist told me one of the mothers said, "This is my son's final resting place ? how beautiful it is."

I am now covering the stories about the plans for the crash memorial and the one to honor volunteers who helped at the scene. The passengers and crew of Flight 93 will always be remembered here. We are honored to be entrusted with that memory.

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              <text>At the time, I was living at West and Horatio St.  Its just under 2 miles directly north of the WTC/WFC complex so it was very easy to see from where I lived.

My wife had already left for class over at NYU Law.  I was still in bed, half asleep listening to the Howard Stern show.  Since I was barely awake, I only heard bits and pieces of the show, but I remember opening my eyes when Gary Dell'abate (bababooey) said, "Why does this always happen to the World Trade Center?" It was the way he said it - suggesting that something NEW had happened - that made me wake up.

I turned on my TV and saw both towers burning.  I went to find my video camera, but the batteries were not charged.  Instead, I grabbed my dog, my Nikon 35mm SLR and my digital camera and headed outside.

When I arrived, a huge crowd had gathered near our apartment along West st.  I could see them all facing the same way, but I couldn't see the towers yet, because our apartment was in the way.  It was one of many surreal images I would remember from that day.  As I rounded the corner, the towers came into view.  It was very strange indeed to see something on TV, and the walk outside my building and see it with my own eyes.

I started taking pictures - out of habit.  I certainly did not mean to be disrespectful.

I heard a collective groan come up from the crowd.  I saw something falling away from the towers.  Briefly, I thought that perhaps the "siding" of the buildings had been loosened by the fire and was coming off.  It didn't take long before I realized that the dust cloud was too big for just siding, and I had just seen the south tower come down.

I stood there, stunned thinking, "It is going to be very strange to see the skyline with only one of the twin towers standing."  I had absolutely no idea that the North Tower would eventually come down as well.

I went back inside, dropped off the dog and came back out with my video camera that had now charged sufficiently to get off a few shots.

My first, and very naive, thought was that now that the south tower had collapsed, they fire department would now be able to concentrate on saving the north tower.  Obviously I had no clue how bad things were down there.

I had only been out for about two minutes when I heard another, now louder groan.  I pointed my camera south and watched as North Tower slowly dissolved into a mushroom shaped cloud of debris.  Instinctively, I turned around and pointed my camera at the faces of the people around me.  Their mouths gaped open and there was a look of fear in their eyes.  A girl behind me yelled "Now they're is no more f-ing twin towers!"  Her voice was filled with anger, fear and disbelief.  A man walked by me and yelled "This is an f-ing war, you mother f-ers."  I think he was mostly angry.

There was a low rumbling sound that I began to hear.  I looked up and saw a pair of F-15's streaking high over head.  I noticed my hands were shaking as it started to dawn on me the sheer impact of the moment.  I'm a huge aviation buff, and I've been to many air shows, and seen military aircraft training many times.  Here above me, were two F-15's not performing and not training.  They were there to protect me and the other people around me from any other threats that could be headed our way.

The collapse of the North Tower had a greater impact on me because it was much more visable.  The North tower masked most of the South Tower from where I was, and the North Tower was much closer.  I felt absolutley sick, as I realized that I had just watched thousands of people die.  I know I had never watched anyone die before that.

I went back inside, and my normally cheerful doorman looked green.  He said, "I just feel sick."

The rest of the day, I was glued to the TV, just hoping and praying that they would find thousands of people alive in an "air-pocket" somewhere.  Later that night, it really bothered me that there was a possibility that someone might have survived the collapse, but were dying in the rubble somewhere with no way to call for help.

The only thing that made me feel any better occurred the next day.  Hundreds of people had gathered at West and Christopher street to cheer for the fire trucks, police cars, ambulances - even the fedex trucks.  You could just feel that people wanted to do anything they could to help.  The faces of the rescue workers were overwhelmed with emotion as they passed the crowd.  On that first day, I don't think they were expecting it, and they were really overcome with gratitude.</text>
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              <text>   On the morning of September 11th, I didn't go to school because I had to get my eyes checked. On the way to Boston, my mother turned on the radio. They said that two airplanes have just crashed into the Twin Towers. I wasn't even listening to the radio until my mother said "OH MY GOD!" Then that got me to start listening to the radio. They said it again. I thought that the station was just trying to play some sick joke. My mother changed the station, but every station was talking about it. It was a huge reality check for me. After that we heard that a plane crashed into the Pentagon!
   Sirens where going off in Boston. All telephones lines where busy, and everyone was worried. It was just like a scene from a movie. We where trying to get to a T.V as soon as possible. We went to my mother's friend's house. My mother turned on the T.V and we saw the plane crash into one on the Twin Towers. It was horrible.
   I think that my life has changed since Sept. 11th.Iam even more proud to be an American. Before 9-11 being an American was just plain normal. But the tragedy that occurred on 9-11 made people raise their flags higher, and not take for granted for what life is. It made people enjoy being an American.
   What should be remembered about 9-11 is what it brought to us. We became a true nation after 9-11. We should remember how the fire fighters gave and risked and gave their own lives for the sake of innocent people. We should remember how Osma bin Laden gave us so much pain, but made our nation so much better.
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              <text>I REMEMBER THAT I HAD AWAKEN AT 7:30AM TO GET MY BABY GIRL (THEN ONLY 22DAYS OLD) HER BOTTLE. WHEN I TURN ON THE TELEVISION TO WATCH THE NEWS.
AT AROUND 8:30AM I REMEBER THAT I HAD THIS VERY STRANGE FEELING LIKE SOMETHING BAD WAS GOING TO HAPPEN. I TOLD MY HUSBAND AND HE SAID THAT IT PROBABLY WAS JUST NERVES BECAUSE OF THE NEW BABY.
THEN AT 8:47AM I SAW ON THE NEWS ABOUT THE PLANE CRASHING INTO THE WORLD TRADE CENTER. I JUST FROZE. THEN I STARTED TO CALL MY UNCLE THAT WORKS THERE.  THANK GOD THAT HE WAS LATE TO WORK THAT FATEFUL DAY.  HE MISSED THE CRASH BY 5 MINUTES. THEN I WAS JUST DEVASTED BY ALL THE PEOPLE. IT WAS LIKE A NIGHTMARE. I THOUGHT IT WAS LIKE A MOVIE. AND THAT THEY WOULD SAY IT WAS A JOKE. BUT THE TRUTH WAS THAT IT WAS A REAL REALITY THAT OUR PEOPLE OF NEW YORK WERE REALLY LIVING.
I JUST HOPE THAT FOR ALL THE PEOPLE WHO LOST THEIR LOVED ONES. THAT THEY KNOW THAT KNOW THAT THEY ARE NOT ALONE.
REMEMBER THAT THEY WILL ALWAYS HAVE A VERY SPECIAL PLACE IN OUR HEARTS AND IN OUR NATION.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL AMERICA
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              <text>When the first plane hit, I was just getting out of my history class. I hadn't realized what had happen as I passed through the cafetria that had the televisions on.  As I was sitting in my next class, one of the other students came running in telling us that a plane had just crashed into the Pentagon. No one knew what to say or do. Our teacher didn't know whether to try and continue teaching, trying to help keep us calm or let us go adding to the chaos that was starting. Here in Richmond, people and businesses started closing. There were rumors flying around that there might still be more planes and one might hit the reserve here in the city. Everyone was rushing home or to wherever their families were. Others were trying to call family members to see if they were alright. It was then when I had heard about the other three planes that crashed as well. Later, that day as I saw the pictures on the television, I was in total shock. I couldn't believe all those people were in those buidlings or on those planes and how anyone that was human could be that cruel. For hours, my boyfriend, Bryan, and I sat on the couch watching the firefighters, policemen, volunteers, and everyone else trying to still save whoever they could. I let my son watching cartoons knowing that he wasn't old enough to understand what was going on, but he knew that we were upset. It was the darkest day in the United States. I think everyone in the country felt an enormous sadness come over their hearts and lives as this tradgedy effected us all. My heart just went out to those that lost someone on this day that was in their lives. Even today one year later, it is still so painful. We started watching a rememberence special on television. I couldn't help, but cry as I watched the events all over again. All those faces and names that were lost for no reason. I think on this day everyone lost someone. Whether it was a brother, sister, husband, son, or friend, we all lost a fellow American. </text>
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              <text>     That day, I went to school as a normal person waiting for the school day to be over. When I came home, I was different person and no longer wanted to survive only the school day, but the days. following September 11th, at school. I did not know something was wrong until lunch.
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     On the ride home, I listened to everyone discussing the day's events. Nothing prepared me for the flick of the remote when I sat on the sofa in my den. For a long time, I sat speechless and pinned to the television. The building was there this morning, now it's a pile of rubble. It was entirely hard to imagine the terror on those people's faces, trapped on those airplanes and in those buildings. I thought the world was crumbling in. The nights following the tradgedy, I was half expecting to see an airplane fly right through my window. It was scary! Why and how could anyone be so mean and cruel to kill so many people?
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              <text>It was right at 6:00 a.m. when I awoke to my alarm.  I was about to begin a new job at a gas station that day.  My schedule was to meet my new boss at 8 a.m. and begin work at 10 a.m.  After awaking, I heard something about the world trade center on the radio.  Being half asleep still, it didn't really register that something had happened.  After getting out of my bed, I went and turned on the television.  They were showing an aerial shot from a helicopter quite a ways away from the towers.  I kept watching as they were trying to figure out what had happened.  By the time I had awakened, the 2nd plane had hit.  So I'm watching along and when the first tower fell, they did not know what happened.  I couldn't watch much of it because I had to meet my boss at 8.  Well when I got there he had not heard about it.  I was briefed then went back home to watch more of the story on tv.  When I got to work, things were ok.  Then about an hour later, people were coming in like gas was gonna run out, which it did before the end of the day.  People thought gas prices were going to go up because they heard it on the radio.  Well gas was high because it was just after Labor Day.  It stayed about the same for several weeks before it started dramatically dropping.  Well during the day it was busy all day.  It only slowed down for one minute where we had only 2 cars at the station.  Then it picked up again and was very busy past the time they let me go at 7 p.m.  Cars were everywhere and it was not only at the station I was working at.</text>
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              <text>My whole class and I were in chemistry.  Our teacher had just finished with her lesson and we were using the last 15 minutes or so to start our homework.  She got a call on her cell phone from I assume a freind that lived out of state.  He may have even lived in New York.  He called her telling her that a plane had just crashed into one of the twin towers at New York.  She had the biggest look of shock on her face.  I remember that she had to go outside of the classroom to talk to him and when she came back in she told us what had happened.  At the time, no one knew that it had been an act of terrorism, and I honestly didnt' think much of it.  The bell rang and so I went down into the commons.  Everyone was talking about it. At my next period we talked about what had happened and the t.v was on so we watched the news.  By this time two planes had crashed.  All we did all day in all of my classes was talk about the planes and watch the news, even though we weren't suppose to.  I remember after school I had to go to driver's ed and drive and observe.  We drove by the Camp Mabry military base and there were soldiers covering every entrance.  After going home that day, our t.v. was on the entire night and my whole family watched it. </text>
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              <text>	Senior year had just started.  I had finally made it.  I had just started my second full day of school.  First period went along as it usually did and second period was no different except for a few rumors that were circulating throughout the class.  A friend turned to me and said, ?Sam, did you know a plane hit the Empire State Building??  ?Get out of here! I can?t believe that!  Well, at least it wasn?t the World Trade Center?? At least it wasn?t the World Trade Center.  Little did I know those words would be echoing in my head for a very long time after that.  I did not really pay attention to the rumors.  I figured if they were true, I would have known already.  After about five minutes I was called out of my Psychology class as a notice was brought to my teacher.  I heard an announcement being made that something had happened, but I was not able to make out what she had said.   ?It?s probably just something about tryouts for a team,? I thought, ?but why didn?t they use the intercom to announce it?  Weird.?  
	I walked down the hall into my ?aunt?s? office wondering why she had sent for me.  She was a close friend of the family, so close that I considered her to be a part of my family. When I saw her, she looked upon me frantically.  I knew something had to be wrong.  She began throwing questions at me, ?Did your mother go to work today??  ?Yeah, why??  ?Did she leave on time?? ?Not sure, why??  ?What about your dad? And Maryann? Did they go to work??  ?I don?t know.  Dee, what?s going on??  Now she started speaking in a low voice that escalated as she continued.  ?Sam, two planes hit the World Trade Center this morning.  They are on fire right now.  Please Remember! Did your mom leave for work on time?  Tell me she didn?t!?  My emotions came flying at me all at once.  I collapsed onto the couch and started crying.  My mother, father, and stepmother were there.  How could this happen?  
	I ran to use the phone in the Phys. Ed. office.  I called my mom?s cell phone? Voicemail.  I called my dad?s cell phone?Voicemail.  I called my stepmother?s cell phone? Voicemail again.  Panic flew right through me.  I called my grandparents and heard them crying.  ?Your mom is fine.  She just called.  We don?t know about anyone else.?  All I could do was wait and panic, panic and wait.  I constantly called my dad?s cell phone because it is always on.  I never got an answer.  While doing all of this, I watched the World Trade Center ablaze.  Then I found out that the Pentagon was hit.  At least it wasn?t the World Trade Center boomed back through my head.  I could not believe it.  How could I have such horrible luck? It was bad enough having my mother in the 1993 bombing, now this?  I wanted to go to another room and look out the window so I could see first hand what was happening, but my aunt would not let me witness something so terrible.  
	All I was able to do was watch the news.  I watched the replay of the planes hitting the buildings over and over again.  I watched as the towers burned.  I watched as the place where my parents had worked for years come crashing down without any warning, bringing tears to sting my eyes.  I called my grandparents again.  ?We don?t know.  We haven?t heard from your mom since the towers collapsed.  We don?t know if she?s OK.?  Just hearing their voices cracking made me break down again.  As I frantically called everyone?s cell phones again, I remembered my father had a beeper.  I knew the phone lines might have been down, but his beeper might work.  I beeped him with the school number and, ironically, 911, so he knew to call me back immediately; that it was an emergency.  After about an hour or more of waiting the phone finally rang, and, this time, it was for me.  ?Sam, It?s me.  We?re OK.  I?m at your father?s house right now.  Everyone is fine.?  I started crying at just the sound of my mother?s voice.  When I had seen the towers collapse, I felt like there was no hope.  Somehow, someway, I was blessed that day and no one was physically hurt.  Emotionally, we all suffered a great deal.  As I handed the phone to Dee, I ran out of the school.  My father?s house was just a block away, so I got there rather quickly.  I ran up the stairs, threw my things down, and hugged my parents.  I did not want to let go.  Eventually, after we all stopped crying, we sat and watched the horrific events over and over again on the news, and they told me about what had happened to them.  Small miracles can happen everyday, and this particular day a miracle saved the lives of three people closest to me.  My parents and I then went back to my house and met with my grandparents and my brother.  I am so thankful that everyone is still here today.  My mother, father, and stepmother all were miraculously late for work on that dreadful day: September 11, 2001.  </text>
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              <text>I was engaging in the American Dream when our little corner of the world came crashing down in New York, Washington and Pennsylvania.  My husband and I were in the process of buying our dream home after moving to Kentucky from Maryland.  I prayed.  I prayed like I had not prayed in years for the lives of all those innocent people and for the safety of all those heroic people who rushed to those terrible scenes of devastation to help in rescue attempts.  Acts of courage and strength showed the rest of the world that even in our worst hour, Americans join together to stand united as one.</text>
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        I recently had been struggling with the whole September 11th year as the anniversary approached, it produced no less than an immensity of uncoordinated and
uncontrollable emotion and insight.  I had hoped that concealing myself
from that day would leave me blinded to the horrific realizations I might
acquire upon standing up to confront that day.  I have
been mourning September 11.  It has been quite traumatizing and difficult
to say the least, very strenuous, a tremendous struggle.  Around the
world, people commemorated the fallen, bereaved the lost, and offered
their compassion and sympathies to the USA, my country.  And on behalf of
us Americans, I want to say thank you everyone else, we are so
grateful for your support and encouragment through these volatile times,
the world really is a terrific place with an innumerable number of
beautiful and understanding individuals.  We have truly defeated and
overcome these lost and humanity deprived terrorists when we have
forgiven them for their deplorable atrocities.  Our undeterable goodness
and enduring freedom shall certainly never succumb to their consuming
hatred and destructive evil.  Let each of us, attain vindication not
through retribution, rather through contributing to and establishing in
the world, that which these lost souls seek to eliminate; peace, unity,
and accord with one another, throughout the entirety of the world.  As
horrific as these terrorists have proven themselves to be, we still owe
this uplifting positivity to ourselves, our families, and our nations,
more so than these fallen individuals deserve our spite and vengeance. 
Repay your enemies not with that which makes them your enemy, but with
that which they do not possess and contain, in order that they may no
longer remain your enemy, and the world shall no longer stand in the
shadow of darkness and despair.  This ideology can be implemented in any
situation of conflict that requires resolution.  Our forgiveness should
not be restrained and based upon whether or not someone asks for it; all
the more compelling forgiveness will be when we forgive those who do not
desire it, and even more so who do not believe they even have anything to
be forgiven for.  Forgiveness is as much for the forgiver as it is for
the forgiven, it symbolizes a completion in a sense, an achievement, and
the forgiveness you eventually acquire for someone is well worth the
battle and struggle you endure to get there.  God Bless the families of
the lost and fallen, they will never be forgotten, but rather embedded in
our minds and found resonating throughout our hearts until our own lives
reach their final culmination.  For they are our inspiration and hope,
indicative of the strength we desire in a heartless and cruel world.
        Yes it has brought me down, I awoke at 6am on the 11th to watch
everything, i just wanted to be alone though, so i pretty much stayed to
myself all day, i dont want to become depressed, but I know that is the
only way I can feel it fully, yet still I resist it because as much as I
want to feel its intensity, I fear that same intensity and what it might
do to me even more so.  Believe it or not I still have not faced the
truth about the day, I conceal myself from it, yet feel it seeking me,
approaching me, and following me, and I am tired of being followed by the
insinuations of that day, so I let my emotions fall victim to its
clutches and gave myself up to letting it catch me, and it has devoured
me.  I was numb to it at first, you think about a small specific aspect
or fact concerning it all, and you think about it so much for so long
that you begin to struggle with it and it wrestles with you in a sense,
you get a brief glimpse inside the understanding of that particular
occurrence or thought and then it vanishes, as quickly as it came, and
you are left wondering about it all over again, trying to comprehend
meaning, its purpose, its relevance.  Its too enormous to get a handle on
alone, but when we all join hands with family and friends, together we
can reach all the way around it, encompass it and get a control on and
over it, thats why its so critical that we have a foundation to lean
upon.  And out of optimism I say that some of the most positive things
the world has ever known and conceived of have resulted from tragedies of
astronomical proportions, its just for us to determine in our hearts
whether or not the benefits are worth all the difficulty of getting to
them, because I firmly believe that as diminished as you find yourself
spiritually emotionally and psychologically because of a certain
something, is the equivalent of how exceedingly positive and productive
you will eventually become, its not something thats true or false, its
just based upon whether you believe in it or not, and I happen to believe
that you will reap the equivalent reversal of the pain, anger and loss
that you submit yourself to.  
        I listen to the stories of people, the victims, over and over
again, they are all different, you try to ascertain if they have overcome
that horrific day, and if so, how, we listen to them continuously to try
to find some sort of meaning or practical reasonsing to apply to our own
selves, and these stories will be told for the rest of our lives.  I make
no reservations to say that we will be listening to them and reading
about them for the same reasons then as we do right now, to try to
decipher their logic, which is nothing but obsolete, for it contains
nothing that logic possesses within itself.  You try to reach to its core
and uncover its truth, but its just inconceivable, its immersed in far
too much carnage and destruction, of lives, of moral, of faith, of
healing., I can accept that it happened, but the stories, the facts, the
people jumping, the men who bore children after they died, seeing the
faces of people in the windows moments before their lives would reach
their culmination and fulfillment, and I dont know what hurts more,
believing they have no idea that they are about to die, or seeing them
and knowing that they understand that they are about to die and perish in
those buildings, the people who almost got out but didnt, the people who
could have escaped but chose not to, the people who could have survived
but couldnt be found, its just awful, those are just a few things that
deeply penetrate your soul beyond all else, the stories, the realities,
and we will forever maintain within ourselves specific pictures that we
remember, an instance on that day that has found permanance in our soul,
penetrating so deeply, that the soul accepts it as part of its very own
being.  Personally speaking, I cannot tolerate the stories of those who
called home to speak with wives and husbands and children, mothers and
fathers, letting them know they were about to die, but that they loved
them and would miss them, too never forget about them, but to remember
them and understand that it must be there time to go, that it cant be
changed, that their death is imminent and insurmountable to prevention. 
I just cant imagine what those families must have endured.  Tragic. 
Abhorable tragedy.  Although, something so dramatic doesnt cause you to
wonder why people come out of these situations with a new found
understanding and perspective about themselves and the lives they lead. 
They, the victims, have to be instilled with resiliency and persistence
though dont they?  Or how then do they survive, how would they continue? 
Ii guess its something similar to the more difficult things are for you,
the higher you have to reach to find your way out, the further you have
to climb to alleviate the oppression upon your soul, and for that it is
all the more difficult, but also in a sense and simultaneously, the more
desperate you become to live and overcome all that attempts to encompass
your life, whereby you fight ferociously in order that you reject
succumbing to the evil that seeks to annihilate you.
        But we cant dwell on the cause, we need to come to a resolution
internally, as communities and families and nations, with it, and utilize
that which we obtain from that resolution to find solution and repair and
rejuvination, however i think we do understand why they did it and THATS
why no one can believe it.  They actually hated someone so much that they
could go so far as destory thousands of lives and millions of hearts. 
But again, the more deplorable the evil one, the more in need are they of
forgiveness and reconciliation.  
        Nevertheless, im improving now, it was hard last
wednesday, i taped about 24 hours of video on four tapes, still uncertain
of the memories, pictures in our minds, specific and direct, that we will
never forget, embedded within us, and surrounded by our logic and
perception, if any may even be applied to such circumstances.  The
hardest things are recalling the many who spoke to loved ones for the
last time, knowing they would die, the fathers who bore children,...after
they were long since deceased, that which I eluded to previously.  You
think you obtain insight for a brief second, into the meaning and
relevance of it all, until it escapes you without notice, without
warrant, and you revert back to where you initially began, attempting to
ascertain the implications that consume it.  Strife must be permissable,
I think I would eventually feel a sense of strangulation if I continued
to avoid being embroiled by the cicumstances of that particular day.  
But I have no intention but to produce as much positivity as i can derive
from it, hopefully we will as a world be capable of being immeasurably
more productive and uplifting than the amount of such that day actually
stole from us all.  
        I spoke to this woman in a chat room who lost her fiance and
father in the towers that collapsed, i mean its difficult enough to
endure it all when you werent even present, though you still feel as if
you were a part of it, but contemplate what they must tolerate, the
feelings that must beckon them to just give up and let it overtake them,
suddenly your own struggles become severely diminished and profoundly
irrelevant in the midst of their deplorable suffering and immediately you
make every attempt by which to comfort them, reassure them, offer them
understanding and perspective. Its essential that they have as much
encouragment as feasible, in a sense we mourn because they mourn, and
when their mourning has reached its culmination, we can all overcome this
together, but until then, the thought of their daily struggle is almost
unbearable and inconceivable, but trying to assist her is therapeutic in
a sense, because you give more than your all to reassure them, you pour
your heart out to them because they are worth your very last bit of hope
and determination.  I hope to encounter others who were directly
affected, even as it prolongs my mourning, it makes it more tolerable
while focusing on another rather than yourself, its funny how when you
neglect your own needs during your greatest needs, that you find yourself
to actually be less in need.  
And to the families and friends that lost loved ones, I say this.  Permit me to provide you with a few words of encouragement, while conveying my support, though all of you, including your remarkable lost loved ones, are deserving of exceedingly more.  
	They were undoubtedly heroic individuals, not only to their children and familes, but to the world who never had the opportunity to know such profoundly wonderful humanity.  It's important to acknowledge that they were heroes, our heroes, but even more significant is to understand exactly what a hero signifies.  A hero symbolizes that which we wish we ourselves were, and one day hope to become, someone who provides inspiration and instills within us a resiliency to become better people and more productive human beings.  They reach into our souls and find a place there reserved for them alone, a place we can always look to in search of a revitalized solace and tranquility.  A place we can resort to in moments of despair, and utilize to acquire limitless strength and courage.  They alleviate our sorrow and establish within each of us a resonating sense of hope and promise.  And finally, a hero, your hero, is someone who can give to you, in their loss, everything they did while they were here, someone who holds the capacity to console you and be there with you, even when they are not.  Your father, mother, daughter, son, grandparents, friends, husbands and wives, have and will continue to possess the equivalent of these attributes, and undoubtedly exemplify them in their entirety.  Their unfortunate passing will never diminish the transcending presence and purpose they have in all of your lives, rather you will find it accentuated with time and, subsequently, fulfilling to have been blessed with the privilege of having them as not only a loved one, but a very best friend.  I anticipate that you will continue to live and progress forward through their extraordinary love, as they live and remain through your sincere memories and prayers.  
	Concluding, find satisfaction that your bereaved loved on, indicative of their nature, gave their lives, in some way or another, as an exemplary sacrifice to others, for there is nothing more noble and honorable contained in all the earth.  This cannot be reiterated nor emphasized adequately.  Never hesitate to remember that it is better to give your life for another, than to save your life for your own self.  These couragesous men and women, firefighters especially, not only believed in these words, they lived by them, and their deliberate actions of generosity and humbleness, along with the other victims that all saw the face of God that day, will serve to uplift and uphold millions of us for years to come.  They became, on that single fateful morning, what most people can never become during the entirety of their lives!  A hero, and that will be the most amazing memory each of them have left to you of themselves.  Let the smile they shine down upon you with, be a reflection of your own selves that you share with, and display to the world.  Let us now join together and overcome these atrocities, with undeterred peace and unparalleled love, for humanity and the world we call home.</text>
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I had just turn 13 on this terrible day(my birthday).
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