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              <text> I was at home working on my computer, when i got a phone call from my husbend at work, he asked me what was i doing and i said to him i was working in my computer, and he said to turn on the tv and i said to him why? and he said to me that New York was being attack. and i said to him you got to be joking and he said no look at the News. and belive me when i turned on thr tv I said oh may god what's Happening. at first it did't hit me but then i keeped on seeing the news and I thought of all of the people that were in the world trade center, but i could not belive what i was seeing then i Thought of my Sister and my Brother-in-law adn the kids. I tried calling and i could not get through i thought that something was wrong with my phone so therefore i tried calling on my cell phone still i can't get through, i was very worried because i could not get through. at the same time i was getting ready to go to work, but i was very nervice thinking of my Family in new york. then i thought of calling my Brother in New Jersey He was not home so i left a message to call me back soon and to let him know of what was going on in New York. i left him my number at work, i wen't to work, but still i could not Consintrat on my work, i i told my Supervicer that i was worried because my family was in New York and i could not get in touch with them, so she told me to go home and to keep on calling my family, so i did, and in the after noon my brother called to let me know that our Sister and husbend and kids were alright. and my first words were Thank God there alright. then I prayed for all the other family members and loveones to be safe.</text>
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              <text>I had a breakfast meeting with a client scheduled for 9:00am at Windows On The World.  I arrived(as I always do for meetings) about a half hour early. I was about 6 blocks away and trekked off for the walk to WOW...I decided along the way to stop off at a newspaper stand and buy the daily news and a pack of gum.  I took my time and was looking at some magazines first because I had plenty of time to get to my meeting and still be early.  Somewhere in the area of 8:45am I heard what sounded to me more like a bomb had just gone off(my head was NEVER thinking plane crash) but then I looked up and saw that one of the towers was on fire. I assumed the bomb that I thought I heard had gone off up there.  But immediately everyone around me had there eyes trained on the building and I heard some people say that a plane had crashed into the building.  Well, I couldn't believe it but still I didn't think it was more than an accidental crash at that point.  Little did I know that all hell was about to break loose...After another few minutes I saw people in the street and heard one say that they saw someone jump out of a window.  I thought to myself how crazy that was and I couldn't fathom it.  I decided right there and then that going to WOW was probably not a good idea so I attemted to call my boss on my cell phone but I couldn't get thru and thought that my phone was just out of
range. For some reason, I didn't exactly want to leave either and I watched along with everyone else for a awhile.  Then the second plane soon hit and we ALL just took off in different directions trying to get the heck out of there.  Within minutes there was black smoke everywhere. I ran as far as I could before getting out of breath and ended up in a small diner/resturant with about 13 other people that were next to me.  I couldn't believe any of it or how surreal it was.  I was concerned with 2 things: Letting my mom know I was okay(she had only lost her husband, my stepfather the month before) and my sister and 2 friends who all worked in the WTC.  Luckily and thankfully, everyone was eventually accounted for and okay.
I can only think of one thing to end my story on: Always remember!</text>
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              <text>   My fiance (@ the time) &amp; I are native New Yorkers.  I'm from the Bronx &amp; he's from Queens.  We're both cops here in VA.  I work for Arlington &amp; he used to be a SWAT team memeber @ the Pentagon. I'm a cop in Arlington.  
   I had asked him to take our daughter to school because I had a migraine &amp; wanted to try to get rid of it before I went to work that evening.  He was home still because his supervisor decided on 9/10 to let the team come in to work @ 1100 hrs-which was considered late for them.  
   Wnen he got back, he woke me.  Soon the phone rang &amp; it was a friend (another New Yorker) calling from MD telling him that the Pentagon had just been hit.  My finace thought he was joking &amp; told him to stop messing around.  His friend told him to turn on the TV &amp; told him the Twin Towers had been hit too.  When he turned on the TV, I was numb!  I forgot all about my migraine &amp; my fiance was panicing because he never got paged.  (Of course all communication was destroyed.)  He got dressed &amp; left &amp; I followed soon after.  Traffic was a mess.  I hit my hazards &amp; took the shoulder until it ran out.  Interstate 395N from the mixing bowl (I495 N/S, I95 NY, NJ, Baltimore) to DC was shut down, but the cop posted there let me thru when I showed him my shield.  
   By the time I got to work, I was told to hit the streets &amp; answer calls like I do everyday.  But 9/11 was NOT an "everyday" day.  I remember the streets being quiet, deserted, it had no life.  It seemed like even the bad guys took this particular day off too.  We hardly received any calls to run.  You could just feel the whole county's numbness. 
   A year later, I still don't watch the news like I used to.  Things have gotten "back to normal".  I thank God that I didn't lose my fiance that day.  He's now w/ another federal agency.  I pray for &amp; thank  ALL the heros of that day.  Not just cops, fire fighters, EMS workers, but the rescue dogs, Red Cross &amp; the Christian Church who came to give a hand; those who were in these buildings helping strangers &amp; friends get out safely even tho their lives were in danger too; those who were on PA's Flight 93 who took it upon themselves to take back our plane.  Everyone who played any kind of selfless part on 9/11. 
   Thank you for letting me tell my story.  GOD BLESS   </text>
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              <text>I am not one who is shocked or feels fear as most others do.  When I am faced with a situation, I see the cold, hard reality of it.  Emotions never play a part.  Part of this I contribute to warnings I receive.  Whenever something bad is about to happen, I feel terrible pain in my stomach/abdomen.  This pain always precedes my car breaking down, my relationship ending, and a hospitalization in the family to name a few, but it has also preceded the Oklahoma City bombing, the space shuttle disaster, and now September 11, 2001.

I was staying at father's home that September, waiting for my new house to be ready to move into.  The evening of September 10, the stomach pains started.  The pain kept me awake most of the night.  Normally, I would have been up before the first plane crashed into the tower, bue due to lack of sleep, I had slept in.  

My dad woke me up as soon as he heard the news.  He came running into my room framtic, calling my name.  He said, "Jennye, you need to wake up and watch this!  They've crashed a plane into the World Trade Center!"  He turned on my TV and stood there, watching. 

Being half asleep, his words made no sense to me.  I asked him, "Now, why would anybody want to do that?"  His reply, "I don't know, but they did.  You really need to see this."  He went back into his room where his sister was on the phone.  She had called him to tell him of the tragedy.

I looked at my TV, but in my still not quite awake stage, the images made no sense.  In my mind, I had the idea of a King Kong remake.  After I woke up, I sat in front of my televison, I saw the smoke billowing out of the tower, the people running in wild mayham to get to safety, but I couldn't hear the screams, or the announcers' commentary.

For the first time in my life, I was shocked.  I was speechless.  I had only one image, knowledge of only one plane being crashed, but the pain in my gut told me it was far from over.  

The pain grew more intense, and I doubled over.  When I composed myself, I sat back up to see the second tower had been hit.  Yet, still, the pain was there.

I had to work in just a couple of hours, so I got ready to face my day.  I came out of the shower to more smoke and fire on the screen.  Only it wasn't the WTC this time.  It was the Pentagon.  Still, the pain had not subsided.

I went to work early knowing that my sister-my boss would need the help.  I watched the people come into the gas station with their faces striken with fear.  Each one had something to say, something they needed to say, and I proved to be a damn good listener because I was having a hard time forming words myself.

Later on, my sister was working outside, and I ran to her with the news.  A plane had crashed in Pennsylvania.  "What next?", she asked.  "What else is going to happen?  Where?"  I gave her the only comfort I could provide.  It was over.  The pain that had tormented me for almost 24 hours had finally eased.  I knew the plane in Pennsylvania was the last of the horror that Americans would be witnessing today.

With the pain, the shock and the speechlessness subsided as well, but I still never told my story.  The reality of what had happened had set in, quicker then it had for others I'm sure.  So many people, had the need to confide their fears in another, and I chose to be the confidant of everyone I came across for the next several weeks.

I did as so many Americans elsewhere did.  I went on with my life.  I went to work, took my daughter to school, went shopping, went to the movies...I enjoyed my life that was still ahead of me.

I also mourned for everyone who had lost theirs.  I cryed for the children, not only the ones who had lost loved ones on September 11, but for all the children who had lost a piece of their innocence that day from witnessing the evil in the world.

I gave money.  I didn't give near as much as others, but I gave more than I could afford.  Money didn't have the same value as before.

I wanted to give blood, but I couldn't.  Having been a donor for a while, I had given blood shortly before September 11, so it was too early to give again.  

Most importantly, I prayed.  I have never considered myself religious.  I haven't been to church in over 10 years, but prayer has always been in my life.  The weeks following September 11, I prayed harder and longer than ever before or since in my life.  If I was awake, I was praying.

And I set out to teach my daughter that there is evil in the world.  Evil of such magnitude that our imaginations can not begin to cmprehend it.  I also set out to teach her that there is love in the world.  Love of such magnitude that evil doesn't stand a chance.

                     
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              <text>I WAS HAVING A MEETING THAT MORNING AND MY HUSBAND WAS ON FLIGHT 93 COMING TO NEW YORK FOR MY GRADUATION. MY CELL PHONE KEPT GOING OFF DURING MY MEETING AND IT I COULDNT ANSWER IT. I FINALLY REMOVE MYSELF OUT THE MEETING, AND IT WAS A MESS FROM MY DAUGHTER'S SCHOOL THAT SHE WASNT FEELING WELL, AND TO COME TO THE SCHOOL TO CHECK ON HER. THAN MY CELL PHONE RING AGAIN, BUT THIS TIME IT WAS MY HUSBAND TELLING ME THAT HE DIDNT THINK HE WAS GOING TO MAKE IT, AND I WAS LIKE WHAT ARE U TALKING ABOUT, HE THAN STATED THAT SOME PEOPLE WERE HIJACKING THE PLANE.ACCOPMPANYING MY HUSBAND WAS MY BEST FRIEND WHO HAD NEVER FLOWN BEFORE, I HEARD HER IN THE BACKGROUND TELLING ME SHE LOVED ME AND TO TELL HER HUSBAND, DAUGHTER AND PARENTS THAT SHE LOVES THEM, BY THIS TIME MY BODY BECAME NUMB, AND THE LAST WORDS THAT MY HUSBAND TOLD ME WAS HE LOVED ME, AND HE LOVES ME SO MUCH AND CONGRATULATIONS ME ON THIS DAY, AND OH BY THE WAY TELL MYA THAT DADDY LOVES HER, AND I SAID I LOVE AND THATS WHEN THE PHONE WENT DEAD. ALL U CAN HEAR WAS HEARING PEOPLE SCREAMING AND THAN THE PHONE WENT DEAD. SEPTEMBER THE 11TH WAS MY OLDER SISTER'S BDAY, AND MY 9TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY. I LOST MY HUSBAND, BEST FRIEND, AND MY EXTENDED FAMILY. I WILL LIKE TO LEAVE THIS POEM THAT I WROTE ABOUT SEPT. 11TH.

IF I KNEW
IF I KNEW IT WOULD BE THE LAST TIME
THAT I'D SEE YOU FALL ASLEEP
I WOULD TUCK YOU IN MORE TIGHTLY
AND PRAY THE LORD, YOUR SOUL TO KEEP

IF I KNEW IT WOULD BE THE LAST TIME
THAT I SEE YOU WALK OUT THE DOOR,
I WOULD GIVE YOU A HUG AND A KISS
AMD CALL YOU BACK  FOR ONE MORE

IF I KNEW IT WOULD BE THE LAST TIME
I'D HEAR YOUR VOICE LIFTED UP IN PRAISE,
I WOULD VIDEO TAPE EACH ACTION AND WORD
SO I COULD PLAY THEM BACK DAY AFTER DAY

IF I KNEW IT WOULD BE THE LAST TIME
I COULD SPARE AN EXTRA MINUTE
TO STOP AND SAY "I LOVE YOU"
INSTEAD OF ASSUMING YOU WOULD KNOW I DO

IF I KNEW IT WOULD BE THE LAST TIME
I WOULD BE THERE TO SHARE YOUR DAY
WELL IM SURE YOU'LL HAVE SO MANY MORE,
SO I CAN LET JUST THIS ONE SLIP AWAY

FOR SURELY THERE'S ALWAYS TOMORROW
TO MAKE UP FOR AN OVERSIGHT
AND WE ALWAYS GET A SECOND CHANCE
TO MAKE EVERYTHING JUST RIGHT

THERE WILL ALWAYS NE ANOTHER DAY
TO SAY "I LOVE YOU"
AND CERTAINLY THERE'S ANOTHER CHANCE
TO SAY OUR" ANYTHING I CAN DO?"

BUT JUST IN CASE I MIGHT BE WRONG
AND TODAY IS ALL I GET
I'D LIKE TO SAY HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU
AND I HOPE WE NEVER FORGET

TOMORROW IS NOT PROMISED TO ANYONE,
YOUNG OR OLD ALIKE,
AND TODAY MAY BE THE LAST CHANCE
YOU GET TO HOLD YOUR LOVED ONE TIGHT

SO IF YOU'RE WAITING FOR TOMORROW
WHY NOT DO IT TODAY?
FOR IF TOMORROW NEVER COMES
YOU'LL SURELY DO IT TODAY

THAT YOU DIDN'T TAKE THAT EXTRA TIME
FOR A SMILE,A HUG, OR A KISS
AND YOU WERE TOO BUSY TO GRANT SOMEONE
WHAT TURNED OUT TO BE THEIR ONE LAST WISH

SO HOLD YOUR LOVED ONES CLOSE TODAY,
AND WHISPER IN THEIR EAR,
TELL THEM HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM
AND THAT YOU'LL ALWAYS HOLD THEM DEAR

TAKE TIME OUT TO SAY "IM SORRY"
"PLEASE FORGIVE ME," "THANK YOU," OR "IT'S OKAY"
AND IF TOMORROW NEVER COMES
YOU'LL HAVE NO REGRETS ABOUT TODAY
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              <text>On the morning of September 11, 2001 I was in a taxicab enroute to a training session for work.  Normally, I drive to work from Vienna, VA to Riverdale, MD.  This day, I took the Metro and then a cab.  The cab driver was grumpy after I told him that I wanted to take the cab from Pennsylvania Ave NW downtown to Wisconsin Ave NW uptown in Tenleytown.  I believe he was interested in only downtown fares.  The cab driver was listening to National Public Radio's Morning Edition program.  The newscaster broke into the normal programming to say that it is believed that a commuter plane crashed into one of the two towers of the World Trade Center.  I gave the cab driver a generous tip and I was on my way.

An older woman then stopped me in the street and told me that a second plane had hit the other tower of the World Trade Center.  I proceeded to my training session and I apoligized for being a few minutes late.  I then shared what I heard.  Within seconds, I made almost everyone get upset.  I then told my peers that I couldn't confirm whether what I heard was true.  I really didn't want to make anyone cry.

Within minutes, we got confirmation that the planes were hit.  Next, we heard that there were more planes unaccounted for and rumors started flying that more buildings were hit.  Unfortunately, we found out the Pentagon was hit.  We were then told that we had to leave.  Luckily, I was able to get in touch with an old friend who lived nearby and I arranged to stay with him.  I also called my Dad and broke the news to him.  I was lucky I could talk to him.  Many of my peers were frustrated when their phones did not work.

I walked with the training coordinator down Wisconsin Avenue to my friend's apartment in the Chancery across from the Nationa Cathedral.  We watched TV and watched history unfold.  Hours later, we got some food at a nearby cafe.  Wisconin Ave was empty.  There were no cars on the road and absence of sound was eery.  My old friend drove me to the Metro station and I rode the train home.  When the train left the tunnel enrout to Vienna, I got a phone call from my friend Francois in Paris.  He was crying.  He was glad that I was alive.  When I got home, I got a phone call from my friend Adriana in Porte Alegre, Brazil.  She was happy that I was ok and felt very sad for the people in New York.  In July 2001, I took Adriana to New York City.  When I checked my E-mail, I had three frantic E-mails from an old girlfriend in Japan.  She wanted to know if I was ok. 

"Dear Mike,

I can't believe what happened to NYC and D.C.
Are you all right?
I hope all your family and your friends are safe.
Let me know if there is anything I can do for you.
Take good care!

Love,
Mai"

"Mike,

I have been worried abot you a lot.
Please e-mail me if you are all right.

Mai"

"Mike,

I am sooooooo relieved now.
I am happy that you and your family are safe.
I hope Eric is all right, too.
I almost cried when I got your e-mail.
I have so many things that I want to write, but am confused and don't 
know
what to write.
I am just happy to hear that you are safe.
I have belie
I know how you feel, but everything will be fine soon.
I still can't believe this is happening, though.
I am always here for you!
Let me know if you need anything.
I will e-mail you soon.
I will e-mail you more often, too.
I am sorry that I haven't e-mail you back for a while.
Please take good care.
I hope you can sleep well.

Love,
Mai"


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Struggle to get home&#13;
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              <text>At the time I could not afford a tv yet so I was getting ready to go to class in my dorm room as usual without even a clue as to what was happening.  My phone rang and my cousin (who also was attending WSU) called me and asked me how far away from the World Trade Center did my sister work.  I replied that I thought it was a couple of blocks or more and asked why she was asking.  And her exact words were, "Because they are gone."  I asked her to clarify and she told me that two planes had run into the buildings and I pretty much hung up on her and called my parents.  The told me that my sister was physically ok but that she had seen alot of it happen and that she was really freaked out.  After calling my cousin to let her know that my sister was ok, I left my room and went to watch the tv that was in the common room but I could only watch it for so long.  All over campus professors and staff members pulled tvs outside of the buildings so that people could watch what was happening.  That is how I heard about the Pentagon.  I went to all my classes that day.  Being a philosophy major we spoke about it alot in my classes, especially my ethics class. When I got home I checked my email and my sister had emailed my whole family a play by play as the whole thing unfolded until she left her office to walk to a safe place.  I still have those emails to this day.  I am very thankful that my sister is ok.  </text>
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              <text>Poems

Falling Up

I saw a maple drenched in gold.
The wind was tickling its inside, wrestling loose a great batch leaves.
They lingered for a moment in mid-air, dancing round and around, and then drifted upward, reminding me of souls.

9/30/01

?

Life Cereal

The other morning I looked down at my Life cereal and for a moment every piece looked like a broken bit of building ? a pile of flooded rubble.
And ? dear God ? this one half-bitten piece reminded me of that one edge of building still left standing.
It was the same crooked, jagged shape.
I swear 
I?m not crazy.

9/30/01

?

Now

I thought I?d moved on or at least put up the shields.
But then we were driving ? outside was dying ?
While Guns ?N Roses sang "Knockin? on Heaven?s Door." 
This white autumn light filtered through the clouds and shrouded the hills.
Through the fog for a moment I saw everything.
Life stabbed me.

"This is how it is now," was all I could think.
This is how it is.
As the concrete ran beside me and the trees flew by.

10/29/01

?

Looking Up

We spotted the low-flying, single engine plane at the same time.
"Terrorists," Chris said matter-of-factly a moment later.
I already thought that, I replied.
Beat you to it.
Then I wondered: is this the new normal?

The new absurd.
Not just the fear, but how effortlessly we?ve accepted it.

10/29/01

?

At the Anthrax Update

The strangeness of it struck me about halfway through the meeting.

Here we were, ears pricked and pens poised, hanging onto every morsel of fact, as Dr. Rauch, the "bioterrorism expert" taught us about inhalation anthrax, smallpox vaccine, and the threat to our nation?s water and food supply. 

I looked over at John Whittaker, manager of the Mail Room. 
One day we had screamed over the phone over which of us was responsible for ordering envelopes. 

That seems so long ago, don?t you think, John? I asked him silently. 
He was busy taking mental notes on how to protect his staff from strange white powder.

Does anyone think this is crazy? I wanted to call out. 
Does anyone else think this is a very long, bizarre dream? 

On the other side of the room, I heard a familiar voice. I looked over and saw her.
"This keeps me awake at night," she was saying. "I?m scared health care is next. I?m afraid to come to work here. Are we safe?"

The last time we?d talked, I?d been sitting on the exam room table, shivering in a gown. Her son was going to play in a golf tournament. She had laughed at my hypochondria. 

Chris, Chris, Chris. Is that you? I wondered. 
You can?t be afraid. I?m the one who?s always afraid. Say you?re not scared.
This can?t be, that I want to walk across the room and console you.

None of this can be, but yet, it seems to be
Even though I?m looking for the cameras, waiting for the scene to end, once someone calls "cut!" 

10/31/01

?

The Fireman

It?s Halloween. Cold and rainy.
There?s a helicopter overhead.
Maybe it?s nothing.
Down the street this house flies three American flags over their graveyard, webs and skeletons.
A little boy dressed like a fireman sloshes through wet leaves and tries to beat the dark.

10/31/01

?

The Video

There was nothing to be afraid of, really.
So why was my heart pounding as I pushed the flimsy tape into my VCR?
Why fear a removed moment? 

Before it all happened on September 11, early that morning Chris had been on some floor of the hospital filming residents for me. 
And now seven weeks later we?d finally found the tape. 

The footage was amazingly mundane ?
Two woman and one man, standing over charts, talking. Five mere minutes of tape.
Yet I watched with absolute fascination 
I watched like I was God.

You don?t know what?s going to happen,
You don?t know what going to happen. 

Seeing them laughing and sipping coffee, this sadness crushed me.
I wanted to go back.
I wanted to warn them. 
I wanted to scream or shake them or just whisper please.
Enjoy every one of these last weightless little moments.

10/31/01

?

Game Seven 

There?s this voice in my head screaming "What are you doing!?" 
It?s the bottom of the ninth and I?m biting my nails, praying the Yankees win.
This goes against 26 years of ingrained tradition, against everything that flows in my blood. 

Am I really doing this? 
I feel as if it?s someone else watching and hoping against hope for them,
Someone very different than the person who almost bought a Yankees suck T-shirt at
Fenway Park last May. 

Oh. 
It is me. 

11/7/01

?

Quabbin Reservoir

You can?t come in, the sign tells us. 
You can?t walk beneath the ancient maples, down this winding road to the green of a town that died long ago.

My dad first took me here when I was small. 
I?ve walked back several times over the years, drinking in the silence and beauty, slightly haunted at the site of cellar holes and empty paths. 

But now we can?t come in. 
They have to protect the water.
I stare beyond the gates for a moment, shivering in the breeze.
Then we drive away.

11/14/01

?

All Over Again

A plane fell out of the sky again the other day. 

It?s amazing how you can resolve to let go of something, how you can be so close to letting it grow fuzzy in your mind rather than reliving the details, when you get jolted back in a matter of seconds.

My racing heart and the blaring television and smoke pouring from the New York sky ?
All over again.

The only thing that?s missing is surprise.

11/14/01 

?

The Ticker

"Did they always have the ticker?" Dan asked as we stared at CNN.
News tidbits danced across the blue strip at the bottom. 
I followed them until I grew dizzy.
Dan mouthed as he read.
"I don?t know," I answered, gazing at the screen.
Neither of us could remember.

11/21/01

?

Wondering 

It?s gray and misting outside and I feel a little sad.
I?m wondering if they?re out there, whoever they are, just waiting.
Are they waiting for us to start living again? 

I was reading this article awhile ago. 
A New York police officer was weeping, asking 
"How could they do this to our beautiful city?"

That?s what I?m feeling, thinking about the faceless "they." 
How could they do this to my country? 
I?m not the type to clench my fists in defiance and vow that the American spirit will not be crushed.
Let?s be real. We?re broken.
I know we will get better. I just wonder about the scar.

11/29/01

?

Fog

In the thick fog the city has disappeared. 
Is this how it is for New York?
People keep looking, saying, I know this was the spot, but already the memory is murky. 

The fog is one thing, but to search on a stunningly clear day and to still see nothing ?what is that like? 
I can?t understand, so I stand and squint in the mist and try to imagine. 

11/30/01

?

Today

This morning the Today show began with more news of war deaths and bombs and searches for evil men. 
At Ground Zero, above the rubble, they lit a Christmas tree and then a menorah. 
On the screen, a red-cheeked baby girl who lost her dad looked up at the lights.
Behind her, men in yarmulkes sang songs that resonated in the still, cold night.

I tried not to cry as I buttoned my coat to leave.
At the news desk Ann Curry shuffled her papers and looked to Katie Couric.
"The news is just so sad today," she said. 
Stepping out into the morning, I felt warmed somehow. 
I think it was ust knowing someone else understood. 

12/10/01

?

Where We Were September 10

I don?t believe in ghosts, but I feel them as my feet pad down this softly-lit hallway: shades of an earlier me.
Laughter lingers in the corners, along with all that ceased when this hallway was christened: "where I spent the afternoon before."
This ordinary place is doomed in my mind: never a mere transition to another room, but rather, another life.

?

What I Made 

Watching the Yankees in the World Series on Classic Sports, 
I play a secret, silent game.
If I let now fade into the background, if I turn up the volume and have the murmur of the crowd surround me, then I?ve brought the city to life again.
And I can recapture that blissful, simple joy of only worrying the ball will not be caught, or leave the park.

I attach myself to this distant October evening.
I close my eyes and feel: the crack of the bat and the nip in the air; people hoping, the towers standing watch, and the sweet smell of dying leaves.

?

Road Trip

When the war began, we were driving in western Kentucky on a Sunday morning.
Home was a thousand miles away.
Even the light seemed a stranger, the way it softened the edges of everything; the way it poured across the fields.

We listened to the radio, leaning unconsciously forward, closer to the crackles.
Strange thoughts tumbled around in my mind.
I longed for the ocean. I could see us on the map; too much land on either side.
Were we trapped? Running away from or to something?

I kept stopping inside to check if everything was real, because I could, in the background, hear my own voice:
"Mom, you know I had this dream?
And we were driving in the middle of Kentucky for some reason.
All of this crazy stuff was going on.
We were bombing someone. 
I think it was the end of the world."

But no, there was the cool of window glass as my cheek pressed against it, and the sour taste of orange juice on my tongue, and the crumpled up newspapers under my sneakers.
We were really here.

What to do then?
I busied myself looking for road signs.
I marveled at bizarre jungle vines growing along the endless strip of highway.
And when we stopped briefly at a gas station, something mildly funny sent me into hysterics.
I let myself laugh more than the moment deserved.
I teetered on the edge of that thin line between laughter and tears, chasing away the strangeness, chasing away the fear.

4/9/02

?
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              <text>I was a 5th year senior at James Madison University on September 11, 2001.  In preparation for student teaching, we all had to come back for a few weeks of classes before entering the classroom.  I remember exactly where we were, exactly what we were doing...we were in Roop Hall, in SPED 402.  The class started at 8 am, and lasted until 10:30.  Every day we took a break at around the same time.   That day, we took a break a little before 9 o'clock.  There was one girl who always called her mother during our break.  She went to call her mom while the rest of us went to get snacks and take restroom breaks.  She ran into the room like she was on fire...she was in tears and yelled to us that a plane had flown into the WTC.  Of course, we didn't believe her.  How could something like that happen to us???  We are a strong and powerful nation!!  Our SPED teacher let us out of class immediately, and I would swear that almost every education student was in the education library watching the coverage.  Within a few minutes, we found out about the 2nd plane and the plane that had hit the Pentagon.

My heart almost stopped when I heard about the Pentagon.  My aunt works for the Pentagon, and I felt panic and fear run through me.  I cried for what felt like an eternity.  It wasn't until a few hours later that I found out she was okay.  We still had one more class to go to that day.  That professor wasn't as nice as the other one.  He still held class, and expected us to pay attention and still work well.  Girls cried in the classroom, guys sat quietly.  No one felt like being there.  We wanted to be at home, or at least with friends watching the coverage.  

Even after class I still had to go to work.  I worked in the main dining hall on campus.  I arrived to work with red, white, and blue ribbons on hand.  We passed them out to all of the staff, and even gave them to some of the students as they came in.  It was overwhelming to see the patriotism that hadn't been on our campus before.  We held a candlelight vigil that night, and many students donated blood to the local hospital.  So many students donated that we exhausted their supply of bags!!!

That was me on 9/11/01.  It was an unforgettable day...I'll always remember where I was and who I was with.  In fact, one of the guys in my  class is teaching at the same school as me, he's in the next room!</text>
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     On September 11th 2001 2 planes crashed into the Twin Towers &amp; The Pentagon. It killed many people including the passengers aboard. Alot lost ther mothers &amp; fathers during this tragic terrorist attack.

      I feel sad for all the childreb that lost so much or so litlle of their family. Many FireFighters &amp; Police men also lost their lives trying to save the innocent people that were at stake on September 11th of 2001. This was an attack that we never saw coming nor ready to happen at all.

    A rough year has passed on since the tragic terrorist attack and we think we are prepared for this if it does happen again or attempted to. We have improved airline security and will be ready incase they decide too.

                  Let's Just Hope They Don't !
            
                                                   Jason Weigand
                                                                               
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              <text>Tuesday, September 11th began brilliant and clear as we watched the sun rise from the American Airlines terminal, over Boston?s Logan Airport.  Our flight was due to take off at 7:00 am.  We were about to board a flight to San Juan, Puerto Rico with a connection to Aruba for our 28th visit to the island.  
Sitting in the waiting area trying to wake up with a cup of coffee, we watched as a ?red eye? flight arrived from Los Angeles at the next gate to the one from which our flight would leave.  About 40 people disembarked from that flight and disappeared into the crowd.  It was at that time that we noticed that the same aircraft would be turning around and heading back to Los Angeles at 7:45 am and would be known as American Airlines Flight #11.  
We sat and watched as the waiting area began to fill with people waiting to depart on both the San Juan and Los Angeles flights.  We noticed people gathering in the same waiting area who would board Flight #11 but did not pay much attention to their faces, except for two individuals.  
One was a young woman in a wheelchair apparently traveling alone, assisted by an airline attendant.  She had an obvious injury to her ankle and had a small carry-on bag and a pair of crutches.  The attendant wheeled her to a stop near the gate and helped her into a regular chair. The young woman gave a polite and very sweet ?Thank you? to the attendant.  I paused to look at her for a few moments wondering if I should offer to help her with her things, but decided against it since she seemed to be handling things well.  
A few minutes later, a young gentleman, very American looking, strolled over to where we were sitting, and took a seat next to me in the waiting area.  He looked directly into my eyes but didn?t say anything.  I didn?t think too much of it.  (Later that same day, my husband and I would remark that this young man acted somewhat suspicious and walked into the waiting area with absolutely nothing in his hands?no baggage of any kind, briefcase, notebook, bags or paperwork.)  
Within a few minutes, our flight was being called to begin boarding and we walked down the jetway never to look back again.  We thought no more of this period of time, for it was just like any other time waiting to board an airplane for any other trip we have been on.

By 11 am that same day, we landed at San Juan, Puerto Rico, ready to change planes and continue on our trip to Aruba. We disembarked questioning why there had been no usual announcement of where to meet our connecting flight, so we checked the monitors for information.  The monitors indicated that all flights into and out of San Juan airport had been cancelled.  
We thought this strange and walked to the American Airlines service desk to ask for information on when our flight would be departing.  We stood in line for 45 minutes with several people ahead of us who were trying to arrange connecting flights to their destinations. We found it strange that the ticket agents weren?t able to help many passengers with their flights.  
Others around us started calling their offices, homes, etc. to notify people of their flight changes. Word started circulating that there had been some kind of airplane disaster involving the World Trade Center in New York. We were hearing all kinds of stories and rumors.  Aircraft had crashed into the Pentagon, the US Treasury Building or Camp David, the President?s Summer Retreat. My husband and I both could not believe what we were hearing!  What was going on here???  What was happening???  
We frantically dug our cell phone out of our carryon luggage and tried calling one of our daughters back in NH but to no avail.  Alas only an answering machine! I left a message just to say we were safe and where we were at that moment. We continued to wait in line at the airline?s service desk when a supervisor announced that the San Juan airport was being closed and evacuated. Everyone was given a list of hotels in the area with their appropriate phone numbers.  We were to call a hotel, reserve a room, pick up our luggage, and leave the airport immediately!  The airport was now closed and we could no longer ask any further questions.  
We were all very scared! We did not know what to expect next.  Everyone was directed outside the terminal where taxis were waiting.  There was another hour of waiting for a taxi to take us to a hotel. Each taxi was filled with people according to the location of the hotel where they had made reservations.  Although most people didn?t really know what was going on, thousands were being moved out of the airport in a relatively organized fashion. 
Through all of these events going on, the airport never disclosed to any of us what was happening in the United States at that moment.   When we arrived at our hotel, we were told that the hotel would be charging ?distress rates? instead of the usual nightly rates because of this horrendous disaster going on and the number of people stranded in San Juan.  No one knew when the airport would be opened again.  No one knew when we could continue on to our previously appointed destination.  
As soon as my husband and I were in our room, we turned on the television to CNN and realized that the U.S. had been attacked by terrorists and that hundreds if not thousands of people had been killed.  What was going to happen next?  Where were these terrorists going to strike next?  We continued to watch the news broadcasts while we dialed each of our six daughters at home to let them know where we were and that we were safe, at least for now.  
We didn?t know how long we would be stranded in San Juan and did not know many more details at the time. We were stunned, shocked and damn scared!!!  This could not be happening to the United States, a country where we all took for granted that wars just did not happen here. 
 It was now Tuesday evening and we called the airport for updates on our flight while watching those horrible and ugly events that had occurred that morning in NY, Washington and Pennsylvania. It was not until the next evening, Wednesday, that American Airlines finally confirmed that our flight to Aruba would be departing San Juan, Saturday afternoon, September 15th.  
My husband and I had to get out of the hotel room, get away from all those horrific events being replayed over and over on the TV and try and get on with our disrupted vacation. It was extremely depressing to watch!  
When we did finally venture out into town, we found there were a pair of armed police officers with bulletproof vests located on each street corner in the city. Security officers, police and military personnel were everywhere. Cars entering parking garages were being searched underneath for anything suspicious looking. Armed security personnel were in the Marriott Hotel lobby preventing anyone without a room card from entering the elevators.  
During our unexpected four day stay in San Juan, we stayed at two different hotels, ate at several restaurants, shopped in a number of stores and found everyone was extremely pleasant and went out of their way to help those who were stranded.  It was very helpful to know that people were coming together and helping one another.

When Saturday finally arrived, we were told to arrive at the airport at least 3 hours before our flight was to depart.  There would be increased security everywhere!!!  With thousands of other stranded travelers waiting to check in for various flights, the airport personnel seemed to be doing a good job at keeping the lines moving and we got through the check-in and security procedures in about 1-1/2 hours.  
Due to a shortage of airline crew, our flight was delayed by about three hours.  It was very nerve-wracking to actually board the plane that day after all that had happened in the previous few days, but we knew we had to get on with our lives.  Our worries were constantly being alleviated by airline personnel.  I insisted on shaking the pilot?s hand just to relieve some of the stress I was feeling at that moment about flying once again and was assured by him that we would arrive safely at our destination. When asked by the flight attendant if I cared for a cocktail or some sort of beverage, I immediately responded with a ?YES? just so I could calm my fears somewhat. We arrived in Aruba later that day and proceeded to continue with our vacation plans. 

During our stay in Aruba, people everywhere were very pleasant and went out of their way to help us.  The government of Aruba planned a beautiful memorial and prayer service for all Americans living and staying on the island. Many Aruban clergy offered prayers and words of encouragement.  A local Arabian choir sang America?s and Aruba?s National Anthems along with several familiar hymns.  A resource center for stranded visitors had been set up at the Sonesta Hotel offering free telephone and email services and other assistance.  Most hotels offered special rates for those stranded.  The Aruban people again showed their caring and friendly personalities to everyone in this difficult time.

We returned from Aruba on schedule with no further problems, but?Life would never be the same again.  It will never be the same again for anyone here in this country or I believe, in this entire world.

Will we fly again some day?  I believe we will, but we will never take these airline flights for granted again.  We will look more closely at our fellow passengers from now on and will try to be more aware of our surroundings.

Life will never be the same again for anyone in the United States or anywhere in this world.

GOD BLESS AMERICA!
Karen E. Booth
Hillsborough, NH

P.S.
It has now been one year since these tragic events happened.  During all this time we have learned that the young gentleman who sat next to me at Boston's Logan Airport and who had looked directly into my eyes was indeed, NOT a terrorist but instead was a victim of Flight #11.  I will never, ever forget that young's man's face for the rest of my life.

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              <text>My husband, 18 month old daughter, niece and I were visiting San Francisco from Washington, DC to attend a wedding.  We had arrived in San Francisco several days prior to the wedding to explore Napa and Sonoma.  We had plans to visit a winery that Tuesday.  My husband awoke first and I came out of ouroom to find him kneeling in front of the TV shaking his head.  I asked him what was wrong and all he could say was that "they bombed the World Trade Center and the Pentagon".  I sat and watched the television in disbelief.  A sick feeling came over me and I needed to hold my daughter.  I went into our room, picked her up and kissed her sweet cheeks. After laying her down I remember breaking down and crying.  I could't stop the tears.  I opened up my Bible and prayed.  I knew that families were grieving deeply all over the country.   I asked God to comfort them and to bring me peace.  I felt overwhelmed with fear.  Fear for that day, fear for my country, fear for friends and family, but most of all,  fear for my daughter.  What would her future look like. I continued to pray and then made calls back East to find out if our friends and family were all safe.  I then began to see how very blessed we are and to thank God that he kept so many safe that day.  I can only imagine the grief of those who lost loved ones.  My prayers continue for them and I vow to never forget the sacrifices made for me, my family and especially our future.  The wedding went on and our friends are happily married in spite of the terrorist.  They may have hit us hard, but they can never take away our freedom,  dignity, and most of all our ability to love deeply.  God Bless America!  We are survivors.   </text>
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              <text>I still remember this day, junior year of high school. I was on my way over to my academy class in Chantilly. I remember hearing someone tell me ?A plane just hit the World Trade Center!? I didn?t know what to think at the time. Was it a joke? Did it really happen? Who did this? How much damage was done? Were people injured? Killed? I didn?t really have enough information. When I arrived at my class the television was already on and several students already watching. There were scenes of smoke and many other things. The World Trade Center was hit, then the Pentagon was hit, then the World Trade Center was hit again, all in what seemed like a very short period of time. That hour and a half went quickly and I was on my way back to Westfield High School. I had English next, with Mr. Butterfield. He told us ?A lot of what you see today is unedited and you will most likely not see again.? He was right. Several of the students remember seeing footage of people jumping out of the buildings trying to get to safety, it was disturbing to see. To be honest, I don?t remember what happened next period. I do remember the widespread feeling of anxiety and depression; it was all a little overwhelming. There were news stories on all day, on every channel, endless coverage of the event, seeing the same few seconds of footage over and over again. Remembering the feeling when the buildings eventually imploded. The day didn?t seem to end, nor did the widespread anxiety or depression. That is my memory of 9-11.

Arti.
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              <text>I was selling tickets for a Middle School Dance at in the school main corridor. A frantic teacher came by and said one of the World Trade Center tower's had been hit by a plane. I thought it had to be an eccentric, pilot who was disoriented in a small plane that had lost his bearings and mistakenly hit the tower. I learned later that it was a major airline that had been hijacked. Then I heard the second tower had been hit.  I left the school to go home and watch the news coverage at home. Not sure whether to leave my children in school or gather them up and take them home. I felt like chicken little and the sky might be falling. Or as if I was in an Orsen Wells narration. For certain, I knew the world as I had known it for 43 years would never be the same.

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              <text>I was in a staff meeting that morning when the wife of one of my associates called to tell him that a plane had hit one of the Trade Center Towers.  I immediately called my cousin, I knew that she had a television where she worked and would be watching.  I asked her what was going on, she told me what she knew, then as we were talking she started yelling "Oh my God, Oh my God" and when I asked her what was going on she told me that she had just watched, live, the second plane crash into the second tower, she was in tears.

From there we closed the office and went home.  All the way the radio stations were keeping me informed of what was going on, part way home the first tower collapsed, as I pulled in my driveway, the second tower collapsed.  I ran into the house, turned on the TV and watched in horror as they replayed everything, the burning tower, the second crash, the first, then second tower collapsing.  Sobbing, I called my husband, he told me he had been watching from work a well and had seen all.

While I continued to watch, I wondered how I was going to talk to my daughters about this horrific day, because I knew there would be lots of questions.  And there were. The school my children attend did a stellar job of handling this.  My youngest was in elementary school and they essentially did not say anything to them until later in the day that way they could come home and ask their parents questions and watch.  My oldest, who was a sophomore in high school, was amazingly mature about it, it seems they watched things unfold during classes and allowed the kids to ask all the questions they needed to, kind of a crisis management session.  But when they got home, they still had questions.  How do you explain to your 10 year old, why a country and people we have done nothing but help, thinks we are evil and wants us all dead?  How do you explain that there are 3000 people who will never be seen again? 

My family and I watched the coverage for almost a solid week, like everyone else in the country, hoping always hoping that one more person would be found alive but losing hope with each passing day. 

Eventually you come to grips with what happened and know that in many ways innocence has been lost, we have now become jaded. But we also pulled together as a nation as no one had ever thought we would and one year later that has not changed.  

God Bless this great nation in which we live and the people that help keep us safe.

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At first i believed this whole deal where a plain hit the building to be an accident. Within the hour when i saw a second plain run into the other twing tower i was in shock. I had never seen anything so horrifying. It was just so unreal. I couldnt believe that anyone would have the nerve to do such a thing to the United States. Later when i saw the buidlings crumble this whole thing just seemed impossible.

How could a small group of people do this to the most powerful nation in the world? Mostly i just felt vengence. I wanted to take out everyone responsible for killing my fellow americans. Although i couldnt do anything about it i will never forget the date 9/11.</text>
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