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              <text>I was in school.We were sent home early and when I got home nobody was there.Alot of my cousins and aunts and uncles were in or near d.c. and baltimore so i was extremely concerned for them. I didn't loose anybody but for thoses who did all I can say is that GOD knows.</text>
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              <text>I was talking to a friend in Long Island, NY when the phone call was interupted.  When my friend came back on the phone, said turn your tv on, at that moment I saw the WTC in fire and smoke, only moments later to see the other plane crash into the other tower.  I screamed, cryed and wanted to rush to New York to be there to help, but, was so much in shock just fell to my chair and cryed.  Told my friend would have to go.  Did not speak with them for a week later when connections where back.  September 11,2001 will always be in my mind and my heart for the people lost and for a day of wake up to the american people.
This was something that could of and should of been avoided, and we allowed it.  So, I have some anger,for that day.  But, one year later still feel helpless, and being able to protect my country.
thank you
Sally E.</text>
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              <text>My name is Shirlean and although I didn't loose anyone close, I feel the lose as if they were all dear friends.  My heart goes out to all the families and friends of victims of 9/11.

A girlfriend and I had gotten up very early to go to the beach to look for shark teeth, a popular hobby down here.  We had spent about 3 hours just walking and looking, oblivious to the whole world. 

When we got back to the RV park, we noticed that several of our friends seemed to be tense and sad.  This is when we learned of the devastating events of the day.  Our day went from joking and fun to absolute disbelief.  The rest of the day I was glued to the TV and watching the reruns of the planes hitting the towers.  

It shook me to my soul and all I wanted to do was hold on to my family.  I called my daughter and Mother in Kentucky and we talked for what seemed to be hours.  We all cried together and asked why anyone would want to kill so many innocent men, women and children.  The children....our future, who will never feel the warmth of the sun on their faces or see a beautiful sunset.  It touched my very soul and made me grateful for my family. 

The only comfort I have, is that I know they, the mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters and friends, are all in a better place now and are safe and never have to feel the hate of terrorism again.</text>
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              <text>I was sleeping when my mom came upstairs to my room, she was crying and was so pale, i asked her what was wrong, and she said alot of things i couldnt understand at first, she was shaking and crying so hard, i didnt have a clue what she was talking about...i hugged her and wouldnt let go, and i turned the tv on in my bedroom, my sister was a nurse in manhattan and we could not get ahold of her, for hours and hours that day we spent calling everyone we knew in new york, not knowing is the worst. but finally we recieved a call from her boyfriend at the time he is a Dr at one of the hospitals there as well. he had finally gotten through to us on one of the hosp. phones, he told us that we wouldnt believe all the damage that has been done, that we wont be able to talk to her for along time, no one can talk to anyone, the phones are down and he lost her for awhile couldnt find where she was then that he had found her, i dont even know how to begin to explain that day correctly i can not find the words, to describe the chaos and the fear, to express my sadness for all of those that did not make it, and to express how grateful i am that my sister did make it. It is now 5 years later and i feel all of those emotions still as strong within me as that horrific day...and the war and the terrorists i just dont understand why people have to be so hurtful so full of spite and vengence. will the war ever really end? i fear it will not, because after 5 years it seems to me that we have gotten no where still, that we are running in circles chasing our tail so to speak, and still we are losing the ones we love and hold so dear. may everyone that was lost on 9/11 and all of our troops that were unable to come home, rest in peace, and know that i at least thank you for all that you have done from the bottom of my heart. </text>
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GOD BLESS AMERICA WE WILL SURVIVE.
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              <text>     At the time of the attacks, I was 3 months pregnant with my first child.  I worked at a jewelry store, and I was in my car on the way to work when over the radio I heard that a plane had hit the WTC.  Thinking "What a horrible accident!" -- I changed the radio station to try and find out more information.  The second station was broadcasting that a second explosion had happened, possibly a second plane, and it was at that exact moment that I knew it was no accident.  When I reached the store, the other girls and I were glued to the radio.  That's when we heard about the Pentagon, and I immediately called my mother.  She was crying, and I was fighting tears.  Then, we noticed other stores in mall were closing, and found out that a plane had gone done in the Somerset area [which is probably between 50-100 miles away].  We were so scared and uncertain of what was happening!  We hurried and closed up shop.
     It wasn't until I got home that I saw the horrific images of the plane crashes and the towers collapsing!!  I stood in amazement at what I was seeing!!  I remember thinking "What kind of world I am bringing a child into?"  In the meantime, I begged my husband to come home [but he couldn't], so I remained on the phone with my mother and aunt -- nobody saying anything but needing to be in touch somehow!  
     Today, one year later, I still get a feeling in the pit of my stomach when I hear a fire siren!  I used to enjoy the sounds of planes going overhead in the summer, and now I find myself watching them out of the corner of my eye -- just in case!  I have never had such a frightening or sickening feeling in my entire life as I had that day and the days to follow. Now, I pray my daughter never has to feel the sheer horror that was that day!  God bless us and keep us in these times of difficulty!

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              <text>The most important thing that was on everybody's mind before the attacks was securing the beer suplly for the TC-1 lock down. The same typhoon that wrecked havoc on the island 5 days before had turned around an almost full 180 degrees and was threatening the island once again. Unfortunately, the typhoon brought more devastating news than broken trees and flipped cars. I had just gotten off the phone with my Japanese girlfriend, explaining to her that even though work was cancelled tomorrow, I was very tired and I was going to bed. Lights were off, my dormitory room door was locked, and my T.V. stayed as silent as it did for the past two hours. I did not have any idea of the chaos that was being broadcasted on both the AFN channel and the local Jap-station. If I had my way, eight hours would have past till I realized what had happened. My "lucky break" came five minutes later after I had closed my eyes in attempt to fall asleep. My girlfriend called, demanding that I turned on the T.V. I naturally objected, citing the importance of a military man's sleep. A second later, I grew enough brains to ask her why. Her response is etched in my memory forever; "You're not going to believe me if I told you." Turning on the T.V., I saw what many around the world was seeing: a fire had broken out on the WTC. I don't know why but I assumed everybody made it out and now this is the horror that the news was trying to embelish for their own self-fish, award-winnig reasons. I walked outside of my room and down the hallway, noticing that it was unusually quiet, even in someplace as isolated as the top floor of my building. I ventured down to where I had friends down on the second floor but nobody was around. I then went to see if our units newbee was asleep in his room on the third floor. He was wide awake and asked me immediately if I saw what happened to the WTC. I told him that it was just another building fire. He told me I was grieviously wrong and showed me on his t.v. what everyone else was now seeing; both towers in smoke. He told me that the second tower was hit right before everyone's eyes. Everything I had learned in anti-terrorism class became my intuitive consciousness and I was in search of my deployable communications team sleeping in the dorm to tell them they need to get their deployable packs ready just in case we were needed at a moments notice. Other things I ended up doing that night was preparing the dormitory for anti-terrorist measures and trying to contact anybody (family, friends, coworkers, etc... to either explain the situation or to find out more. We never went into TC-1, complete lock down of the base due to typhoon conditions, but we stayed in Threatcon Delta for what seemed the longest time. On top of that, all AF personnel on Okinawa were not allowed to go anywhere for five months. Although it was hard, my girlfriend stayed true to me and waited. We eventually got married.
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              <text>Some time in 1987 and also in 1989, I have visited the WTC. I remember touching the building, to feel how it is to be close to a skyscraper and what kind of structure it is.

In tne 1987 visit, I was having my first camera with me - Asahi Pentax K1000 with a 80-200mm Zoom lense and with my American friend I went to the top most floor - to the observation deck.

I took photos of uptown and downtown - whenever I look at them I get a surreal feeling of the perspectives. I also have a photo of a side view of one of the towers; the reflection of an adjacent building from its windows.

More than not seeing the building anymore, I just cannot imagine the plight of the people who were in that building on that fateful day. I just feel very sad for them; not having a way out of it; away from the scorching heat and for many mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters, not to mention kids who lost their loved ones. Same for the people who were in those airplanes.

It taught me one lesson - how fragile our life is and how mindful wwe should be about the clear and present danger to life, every minute of it we live.

I hope those people as well as the fire fighters would never face such a death, if they would ever have another life.

I would be more than happy to share my pictures in digital form with anyone. I would have no problem donating those photos of the WTC buildings to a museum or to the US Library of Congress.

I guess when I visited the WTC on both those occasions, I thought of the day I would bring my wife and kids to New York City and show them twin towers. Now that it will not happen, I would be happy to let go of those photos.

May those souls rest in eternal peace.

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              <text>Poems

Baby Steps

So I guess now I have to turn off the TV and stop checking CNN.com every hour. 
There?s got to be a way to stop walking around with my breath held while still watching for something out of the ordinary.

It?s time to go Christmas shopping and to see movies.
But some parts of the movies have been erased, and others that haven?t wake up this huge ache.

I really should start saving and eating better.
How do I do that without feeling a vague sense of silliness? 
Should I eat, drink and be merry or move on responsibly? 

I feel guilty moving on.
I feel unsafe moving on.
I have to move on.

So I will take an unsteady step forward, not forgetting to look over my shouler.

11/9/01

?

Weightless

For nine weeks I?ve been seeing things as "before" and "after." 
A music video, scene from a movie, hit song, favorite book, day trip ? they all happened before.
Everyone there is somehow removed now from what?s happening here.
I?ve felt this strange wisdom, as if I?ve been aged and hardened, always accompanied by a little ache.

But today I saw a Chicago Cubs bumper sticker.
I thought: the Cubs ? Chicago ? our summer vacation ? fun.
Without the weight or the longing, just remembering with a smile.
Yeah. That was fun.

11/15/01

?

Breaking Point

There is only so much any of us can take, and now there?s been a loss at home.
My friends have been wounded.

Sometimes now I look up at the gray skies and see the grief blanketing us. 
I can feel it smothering. 
But other days I feel the warmth of all of us who are left behind, bound by experience, huddled together, closer than ever.

11/15/01

?

Take-Off

Through the window I saw the tarmac slowly begin to move.
Up and down the aisles, people grew silent as we ambled down the runway.
Then the engines roared, drowning out most of my thoughts.

As we picked up the pace, as the wheels contracted,
I clenched my fists while releasing the fear.
I will fear no evil.
I thought it and prayed it as the sky grew close and all we knew below vanished.

11/20/01

?

?

The Unforgettable Days

I opened a new calendar today and began flipping through the pages.
My eyes scanned the Mondays and the holidays, the full moons, my birthday. 
Many days are just days that will meld into a fuzzy recollection.
May 17 or August 5, who are you, really? 

Over time our empty days grow more defined.
For each of us they take on different shapes, like snowflakes.
December 16 is 9 days before Christmas, or the day I was born, or the day your husband died.

Some days are for all of us. 
We eat turkey.
We light sparklers.
We mourn and remember.

Turning through the crisp pages, I pause at September 11.
It?s no longer just a day. 
If only it was still my November 3 or February 20. 

But life brings this promise.
Three years ago October 17 became my wedding anniversary.
And with the birth of my children, I will adopt other sweet, unforgettable days.

12/11/01

?

Grief ("Sweet Caroline" and the Red Sox Game)

Like a tap on the shoulder, it makes you stop.
Maybe it?s a movie or the first snowfall. 
Maybe it?s Christmas or a familiar smile.
Something makes you turn around and remember.

You may feel a punch that doubles you forward; sucks away your breath.
Other times it?s just a whisper: 
Remember that? Remember when? 
These few vivid seconds are a secret time in your mind.

But then, before someone asks you what is wrong, you shake yourself back. 
You blink quickly or swallow. 
You shudder just slightly at this wakened sadness, a little awed that everything is still so clear. 
And the memory slumbers again somewhere, to be roused by the faintest smell ? or notes of song ? or touch. 

1/8/02

?

Boston

The evening smelled alive; city mixed with spring. 
At City Hall, they?d taken down the giant American flag, and the melted candles and crinkled poems clustered at the bottom of light poles. 
We ambled across the cobblestone, seeking the source of a clear, strong voice and exotic drums. 
A teenage boy shouted "Go Patriots!" His girlfriends ducked their heads and giggled.
I couldn?t stop looking up at the night and lights of skyscrapers and almost-full moon.

On the subway we sat across from a husband and wife and their three children. 
The father and two sons found seats; mother and daughter stood, losing their balance with every lurch forward, laughing. 
The woman caught her husband?s eye and smiled.
When the kids weren?t looking I saw her whisper "I love you." 

1/29/02

?

New York

The third time isn?t as shocking. 
Not when the streets are busy again, the rubble is almost gone and the smell is very faint, just a hint -- but lingering.
In front of the church there are still layers upon layers of flowers and notes and teddy bears, slightly yellowed, curled at the edges, dampening in the mist.
The first time, there were tears; next a spreading numbness. 
Today I only watch others see it for the first time. 
I understand now how the police officers in front of barricades can laugh, and the people who come out after working in that pit chat aimlessly with friends or grab a bite to eat. 

We stand in a long line for the ferry, shivering in the rain. 
We all have to go through metal detectors and have our bags searched.
"I?m sorry folks," says the park ranger. "This is how it is now." But he?s smiling, joking around with the crowd.

On the boat I look across the murky water to the city.
The towers were right there. 
I think, but I?m not quite sure. 
It?s as if someone neatly sheared the skyline. Everything is even now.

Later eating pizza the waitress snaps at me. 
I?m stung and then warmed. 
Isn?t that the old New York? 

Oh, these strange ups and downs. This temperature-taking.
Just to get the stamp of approval to move forward. 
Just to lift the weight of remembering off my shoulders.

1/28/02

?

Recovery

The star-spangled billboard from Big Y, the one that said "God Bless America," now reads, "The Very Best Fish and Chips."
And that hastily hung message -- magic markers on a sheet -- the one that dangled from the overpass on 291, the one that said: "We must not forgive. We will not forget" is gone.

I see so many flags with tattered edges.
I hear car horns honking and people losing their tempers in the checkout line.

In the mornings, instead of checking CNN, I brush my teeth and admire the sunrise.

Each day it seems I surpass my previous record. Sometimes sweet, full minutes, and then hours go by, before I remember to remember.

Feb 2002

?

Breathing

The world is still here.

A pale robin's-egg sky and snow frosting tree branches
City lights and bridges, buds, and joggers on wet sidewalks

Music drifting and lines etched in faces
Giggles
Paper cuts
Stinging cheeks when you've cried too long

The warmth of memory, like baked bread
Even the hollow parts that shred my insides, but testify I am alive.

3/21/02

?

Spring, 2002

Blood and baseball
Earth shaking
People clawing through the ruins
Grasping the familiar

Dust lingering
Window cleaning
Scrubbing away all that clings
Leaving only the raw, exposed parts

New warmth
More light
Exposing what is absent
Illuminating that which remains

3/28/02

?

April and September

Both times:
Wet grass
Sun sparkles
Chilly climbing in the car
Heat blast
Coffee beans
Curling hands around the cup

Sipping
Steering
Seeing spring open eyes
and summer die

4/12/02
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My friend and I enjoyed the live music and talked about the good times, and as I was due to go home the following day, the singer dedicated 'Leaving on a jet plane' to me, which was quite emotionally charging for me. 

We shared a taxi to my hotel, and the radio was on in the cab in Mandarin. My friend suddenly went to pieces and as I only understood an aircraft type and the name 'San Francisco', I assumed that there was a plane crash at SFO. He said that it was a plane crash and was worried about a loved one who he knew was in the USA at the time.

Back in the hotel, I wanted to find out more. On looking at CNN, I was puzzled. I was expecting a plane wreck in SFO but I saw a city with a building covered in smoke and partly obscured with dust. Then I spotted the 'America Under Attack' caption and then I starting realising that I knew the building. It looked like the World Trade Center, but, hang on... where is the other tower? Then I saw a replay of WTC2 falling. I felt sick, frozen and shaking and I just couldn't believe it. I then saw WTC1 falling (I will never forget the image of that mast coming down vertically), then I heard about the Pentagon, then I heard about the fact that there were four aircraft involved. I was very scared as I didn't know if there was going to be more to come and that I was to be flying home the following day.

The friend who I was with, the night before, came to the airport to see me off with a hug. I boarded my aircraft for the long and boring flight home. I later found out that my friend's soulmate was not involved.

In April 2001, I visited WTC2 and found the views there amazing and the sheer scale of the structures were awe enspiring. Something that is gone and I will never see again.

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              <text>the only statement i could possibly make.what a horendous reason to have anniversary.
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            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="55">
            <name>Copyright</name>
            <description>Whether the contributor holds copyright to this item.</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="194536">
                <text>yes</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="56">
            <name>Source</name>
            <description>The source of this item.</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="194537">
                <text>born-digital</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="57">
            <name>Media Type</name>
            <description>The media type of this item.</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="194538">
                <text>story</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="59">
            <name>Created by Author</name>
            <description>Whether the author created this item.</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="194539">
                <text>yes</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="60">
            <name>Described by Author</name>
            <description>Whether the description of this item was submitted by the author.</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="194540">
                <text>no</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="61">
            <name>Date Entered</name>
            <description>The date this item was entered into the archive.</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="194541">
                <text>2002-09-11</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
          <element elementId="62">
            <name>IP Address</name>
            <description>The IP address of the device used to submit the item.</description>
            <elementTextContainer>
              <elementText elementTextId="194542">
                <text>205.188.209.38</text>
              </elementText>
            </elementTextContainer>
          </element>
        </elementContainer>
      </elementSet>
    </elementSetContainer>
  </item>
</itemContainer>
