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              <text>Four years prior to September 11th, 2001 I had stood at the top of the Twin Towers on a trip to NYC for my eighth birthday. Four years later I watched them tumble to the ground, taking thousands of American lives down with it. I was 12, and in my second week of seventh grade. I was in my gym class talking with some friends when an administrator for my school came on the intercom, her voice shaky and her tone serious. She told us that the World Trade Center had been hit by two airline planes and my hands covered my mouth in shock. The gym exploded in gasps and screams and oh my god. I didnt even hear her continue to say that the Pentagon had been hit as well. I was 12, I didnt even connect that the World Trade Center was the Two Towers. All I knew was that something big had happened, something that would change America forever. The bells rang like normal that day; I went from class to class like normal. I still didnt really understand. Then, I heard that the Pentagon had been hit. The Pentagon I knew. I knew my best friends mom worked at the Pentagon, I knew my dad had been going in to lead a bible study in the Pentagon on Tuesday mornings a few weeks prior, I could see the Pentagon in my mind. Thats when I began to get scared.

I remember walking home that day with my friend Lizzy.  We were silent. We didnt know what to say. We didnt know how to comfort each other.  We didnt know if we were allowed to be scared. We didnt know that America could be wounded. Our whole lives we had lived under this belief that America was invincible. In one day, in one moment our view had completely changed for the rest of our lives. America was still our home but now it had become more.  The pledge wasnt just the pledge. Our flag wasnt just our flag. They were symbols of everything that we held dear. It was the first day I realized everything that I valued in being an American citizen.

I went home, threw my backpack on the ground and watched the news with my mom and my three brothers around a small TV in my living room. My dad, being a Pastor at a local church had been off comforting families and seeing how he could help the congregation. I wanted him there so bad. I wanted him to hug me and tell it was going to be ok and I wanted to feel safe with him. 

I couldnt cry though. I watched the news and saw the images but I couldnt cry. I heard the stories I saw the pictures, but I couldnt cry. The next morning school had been cancelled for a day of remembrance and I decided to take a walk outside and process everything that had happened the day before. I walked to the corner of my colt-a-sac and looked down the street. Thats when I stared crying. Someone in the night had gone and tied a red, white and blue ribbon on every tree by the side of the road. It was the greatest image of I have of those days. That picture of patriotism and unification. 

We became that class of September 11th. We became grown up on that day.
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              <text>I was getting ready to go to work, and my husband was still asleep in bed when the phone rang.  I heard him say "oh my god, oh my god, Michele, turn on the tv, there's been a plane crash."

Normally we don't listen to television or the radio in the morning, so we had no idea what was going on. Before I could turn on the television, the only thought was that my mom was flying that day for business, and that her plane had crashed.  I know I said "oh god, I hope my mom is okay," and my husband said "that was your mother."  

At that point in time I was so relieved, and very confused.  I couldn't imagine why I would care that there had been a plane crash. While any plane crash is tragic, unless you have a personal connection to someone on the plane, or related the crash, it's hard to get that concerned.  

As I turned on the television, I was so utterly amazed at the news coverage.  The second tower of the World Trade Center had just been hit, and the image on the television just kept playing over, and over again. It was inconceivable that this was not an accident.  

Almost as soon as it started to sink in that this was intentional, another plane crashed into the Pentagon in Washington, DC.  

I have never felt the shock and horror that I was beginning to feel after watching the images on TV.  

When the fourth plane crashed on the ground, I really began to wonder when it was going to stop.  It just seemed to keep going on, and on, and on.  I wondered how many other planes were going to crash that day.   It seemed like there were many rumors being spread by the news media, and that potentially there were many planes in the air that could also be crashing that day.

I spend most of the rest of the day in bed, crying, and trying to keep my two small children calm and distracted.  I really didn't want them to know yet what was going on, since they were only 2 or 3 1/2 at the time.  We kept our older son home from preschool that day.

Over the next few days, the preschool received several bomb threats.  It's a jewish school, and it seems that many anti-semites were using the terrorist attacks as an opportunity to express their hatred. It was terrifying to let my children leave my side.

As soon as the stock market opened up on September 17th, I bought United Airlines stock.  I wanted to show my support of the airlines, and U.S. economy.  This was my very first stock purchase.

Three weeks after September 11th, we got on an airplane to take a vacation to Florida.  It was very hard during the first few minutes of the flight.  I was utterly terrified that the plane was going to explode.  Nothing happened, and it was an uneventful flight, but I still feel frightened when I get on a plane.

Today it's exactly one year later, and I don't think I will ever get the images of those planes crashing into the twin towers out of my head.  I can play it over and over again.  This is an unbelievably vivid memory for me.

Today I am angry that this happened.  I am sad that so many innocent people died.  I feel sorry for the families that lost someone during these attacks.  I don't know that we will ever be the same.

At the same time, I now hate flying, because I feel like the security measures only harrass people, and don't really eliminate any threats.  I have gotten into arguements with police and national guardsmen over not wanting to be touched by strangers at security checkpoints, having them scare my children at the airport, and I have had my possessions stolen while going through security at the airport.

I am frustrated that Osama Bin-Laden is still at large, still funding terrorist groups.  I don't believe the U.S. government or the world governments are really doing anything to try and capture him, or to eliminate terrorism.

I also feel like this has been a great opportunity for the U.S. government to potentially take away some of our freedom.  We are just beginning to see it at the airport.  I think that more changes will come.

I don't like the world very much right now.  I'm still scared.</text>
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              <text>I was visiting my Sister-in-law in Texas.  We were taking my nephew to pre-school. The radio was on and I heard something about the World Trade Center being on fire.  I turned to my Sister-in-law and said, "Did you hear that?"  She answered with a "No."  So I said, "I think they just said the world Trade Center was on fire."   So we listened for a minute and the radio announcer said, "We just received news that the other tower has just been hit by a plane."  My Sister-in-law and I just looked at each other in disbelief.  We couldn't believe something so tradgic coud happen...in the United States.  

We rushed home to alert family and my Brother-in-law was  already watching the news.  It was all over the T.V., every station.  We all sat and watched the television in total shock and sadness.  

I just couldn't understand what kind of people would [like and want to] think up such an awful attack.  It was beyond my comprehension.  I am still saddened by the events of September 11, 2001.  However, since the tradgic events happened wether we wanted them to or not, I am very greatful that we live in a nation of strong, compassionate people.  I am amazed with how the people of the United States reacted to these great triumphs and hardships.  The United States will always be strong because of this.  Stand tall Lady Liberty, we are behind you!
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              <text>I was working in the psyical plant at the prison, I was just released from my cell and was reporting to work as the first tower was hit. The TV screens where lit up, yet the sound was turned off. As I exited the block I looked up at the TV and shook my head thinking that another country was being bombed or some thing. Going through the safety checks points and finally ariving at work my boss told me what had happened and for the first time in my life I really felt scared wondering just what would happen to our country, the women and men, kids and familys involed.
How ould our President respond to it all. Could we rebuild after such a loss.
Looking back now after a year, there has been many changes in a lot of lives, as well as our country and how we come together as one nation under God.
I would like to once again thank every one involved with the rescue and clean up of 9-11-01.
May God's Blessings be with you and your familys, may Gods Blessings be with the familys that lost loved ones that day.
Thank You and God Bless!
PS I was released on 6-3-02, and by the grace of God life starts over for me and is a blessing every day.

David H Hart
639 NE 81st Ave
Portland, Oregon
          97213
503-381-2875</text>
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              <text>Talking about absolutely nothing. Then the mobile rang.A text message said a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. We put on the television and my world changed we saw the second plane crash into the tower.The world to me will never be the same.WHY!WHY!WHY!Cant we move on to the great dreams of mankind!Conquer poverty hunger explore the universe!Or will it remain a shallow dream of mankind forever!!!!!  DEREK WOODMAN</text>
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              <text> On September 11, 2001, I died. Not in the literal sense. I was thousands of miles away from the tragedy that unfolded in the skies of the Northeast, supposedly safe in my home in Oregon. The Boeing 767s crashing into the World Trade Center, however, were as real on my television as if I had been there. When the towers fell, leaving shells of dust like giant ghostly tombstones for the three thousand who died, my soul also died. I watched my entire life crumble away with those buildings.
Just three weeks later, while I still grappled with my shattered internal world, my daughter, Kes, was born. The moment of her birth was like none I had experienced before. The amount of emotion, the feeling of strong connection, was something I couldn?t have imagined. That little blue-eyed face staring up at me was burned in my mind with the same intensity as the giant fireballs that emerged from the World Trade Center towers. I wanted to cry. What kind of world had she been born into? The debris that rained down from the buildings were like tears, as if the towers mourned the loss of so many, and the sad state of a species that could bring such destruction upon itself. Yet here was this little gem in my arms. I was supposed to be overjoyed. I was. But it was tainted with a powerful melancholy. And a newfound purpose. She would get the best I could offer. The best possible shot at life in a world full of potential for disaster. I sometimes wonder what I would have done if Kes hadn?t been conceived. I try not to think about it too much. She gave me a strength, a purpose, at a time when I was lost, seeking out the pieces that would start a foundation for a new me.
	My wife, Sil, a wonderful person who endured an 18-hour labor to produce that gift of Kes, was a D.C. brat. Apparently growing up in the center of U.S. politics prepared her for the kind of disaster that unfolded on that sunny day in September. She was not affected by the events of 9-11 as badly as I. She showed incredible strength. As I sat in a daze staring up at a sky empty of planes, she continued to work, to live. She didn?t change. And I did. Instantly there was distance between us. I couldn?t understand how anyone could witness such a terrible act without being so badly hurt as I. But then, we?re different people. She didn?t spend much of her time worrying about things like the Fermi Paradox, technological singularity, and disasters great and small, like I did. Science fiction had been a significant piece of who I was for most of my life. I had conceived of flying vehicles being used as deadly missiles against high-rises and had even drawn such ideas over a decade before such fantasy became reality. Having one of my fears realized was an incredible shock. I no longer feel the need to look into the future. On 9-11 science fiction died with the rest of my soul.
	I?ve just outlined what could have been a great science fiction story. From the jets, the high rises, a security system that was avoided and even the television and satellites that made witnessing the horror possible, there?s the basis of technology having a strong affect on my life. From the collapse of my soul, the start of its reconstruction, the birth of my daughter and the alteration of my relationship with Sil, we have a powerful set of emotions. But this story is real. And I haven?t lived long enough to know where this tale is going to lead. 
	What I do know is that, instead of spending so much time trying to live in a future that looks pretty bleak and writing stories about it, I?ve now become dedicated to the present. Live life. See the world. Show Kes all the wonders that are out there. Make sure she has a shot at something grand before some unexpected event takes everything away. Reconnect with Sil, reconnect with the basis of who I am.
This is the new me born of the ashes of 9-11.
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              <text>This is with great sadness and pleasure to be able to write a little something of where I was and how I dealt with a very sad day in our great nation's history, September 11, 2001. I am a police officer. On that morning, I was driving to work in Hermosa Beach,CA. It was about 5:50 a.m. PST. I was listening to the radio and heard a little something about a plane crashing into one of the Twin Towers. Not knowing the magnitude of what had happened I continued my route to work not thinking too much of the crash, maybe because I have never been to New York, I don't know. When I got to work, the TV was on in the briefing room and I learned of the horror that had actually taken place. Not until I saw live the second plane crash I truly realized that this was bad, real bad. As many Americans felt, I was in shock for the rest of that day. While I contacted the citizens of Hermosa Beach and coworkers throughout the day, the conversations were very similar. The disbelief, the wondering, the sadness, the sincere remorse for the victims, their families, and to my fallen comrades in law enforcement and all the emergency personnel.
This past year has been different for me and my family. There is a sense of closeness that has not been felt in long time. I have received more thank you's on-duty than all of my career thus far. Now, on this day, the one year anniversary, I am reliving that terrible day. Not nearly with as much pain and sorrow, but with true appreciation for where I am in life, my dear family, wife and children, and the job that I do as a police officer. However, I feel a little guilty that I have a lot to be appreciative of and it took this tragedy to remind me of it. Very important, though, I am reminded of the great country we live in and I can only hope the victims of 9/11 enjoyed life in America before it was cut short. They will never be forgotten, all 2,801 of them.
Sincerely,
One of many thankful and proud Americans
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I arrived at school, and I heard all the talk. Another plane had crashed. The pentagon was hit. The towers had collapsed.
My friends and I joked about going and killing Osama and the Taliban with grenades, at the time al Quaeda didn't have any meaning to me, which contributed to my lack of sense of reality.
But the next day, when I had thought it over and understood what had happened, I was actually worried about what has going to happen next. I wondered what else would be hit, how this could happen, if the Texas Capital would be hit. 
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              <text>I was stoping by the JAG (Judge Advocate Generals) Office at the Maryland State Headquarts for the Army National Guard, getting ready to go to school at the University of Baltimore.  I had finished a morning workout and just got back from a shower when my NCOIC (SFC Sexton) came in, in a hurry, turned the radio right on, and told us of what had just happened.  I was shocked.  First thinking it was an accident and then, after hearing the second plane hit, thinking this was an act of hatred and or terrorism.  I stood and listened, very distrubed, but decided to walk to school.  When I got to school, I saw all of the blank emotionless stares on the faces of the students an faculty.  When I got to my first class all that could be talked about was what was going on.  The professor tried to teach what was on the sylibus, but with minimal success.  Then minds of everyone were on the attack.  After class I walked down to the student lounge (along with everybody else).  Once I had heard that the Pentagon had been hit, I through my backpack on and ran back to the JAG Office at the Fifth Regiment Armory (Baltimore, Maryland).  I dropped everything, got caught up with everything that the Maryland Army National Guard was doing and tried to jump right in.  By that time the MDARNG EOC (Emergency Operation Center) had already been set up and running.  A group of MP's (Military Police) had already been put together and was on thier way down to the Pentagon.  Maryland was the very first State to respond and be on scene anywhere!  I stayed in the JAG office answering questions and dealing with other things to be delt with.  The day seemed to go on and on and on.  There was no T.V. in the office so the only thing I had was my imagination and the intranet with pictures.  I did not get to see actual vidio footage until 2330 hrs 2400 that night at my fiances house.  The days and weeks following that were full of tension and the quesion of when will I be shipped off.  The day after the attack I was working at the EOC.  It was an exciting time to be in the military.  I actually held the origanal document that Govenor Glendening had singed for the State of Emergency.  I had gone to Fort Dix in NJ two days after it to haddle some issues there and to the Pentagon the week-end after.  My life was flying by the seat of my pants.  It was going where ever I was told to go. The normal life which I had had before that (30 hrs/week in retail and full time college with a good amount of off time)came to a quick end.  There was one weekend when I was on force protection (Armory Guard) when I had a total of 5 hours of rest from Friday morning through Monday night.  This so called easy life of what I used to have, had come to a halt.  I am still full time with the Army National Guard and loving it.  I can honestly say that I am more than willing to go over seas.  In my months working full time in the military I have learned many things (some classified) and other interesting facts.  My father is a FireAlarm 1 for Baltimore County, Maryland, USA.  He is a firefighter and a paramedic.  I have never seen him act the ways I have seen him do, ever in my life.  I never new how emotional he was until 11 Sep 01.  My father is also Honorguard 1 for the county and had gone up to NY City to do some funerals for the Fire and Police since the 11th and was actually at ground zero.  The pictures which he brought back were emence.  I started to tear up all over again when I saw them.  My father was also one of the luck firefighters to shake the hand of President George Bush during the national Fallen Heros Day in Maryland where the National Memorial is (and there is a picture of that too).  As you can see my life has changed dramatically, but not nearly as dramaticly as those who were directly affected by the attack on 11 Sep 01.  "Lest us Never Forget"

WILLIAM T. PETRY
SPC, MDARNG
Paralegal</text>
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              <text>As I work in a hospital blood bank, my first reaction was to get to work.  The phone calls from people wishing to be donors started to pour in.  We didn't have a lot of time to think about what may or maynot have been happening to our country because we were trying to assess how to handle the influx of donors.  We needed a plan of action.

People came from all over the hospital to help us with phone calls and scheduling.  As tragic as the day was, the next few days reminded all of us that, although there is evil in the world, most people are very good and very caring.  When a need arises, people really do want to help each other.

The same scenario was playing out across the country.  People worked around the clock.  The sad part was that we had so many blood products collected and ready for use, but there was no need.  In New York, there were no patients.  There were the people who escaped and there were the dead.

As a country, we had more blood products available that month than we had a use for.  Many donors became discouraged, even angry, when they heard that units of blood expired and were discarded.  We should never feel this way about the outpouring of human kindness on 9-11.  For those of us who are healthy, blood is a renewable resource.  We were there to give in a time of crisis.  We should be proud.  We should be thankful. </text>
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              <text>In my sketchbook where I always draw little airplane dsigns I wrote that night:

"Today I heard about a assault in the WTC in Nw York (USA). Somebody told us at work that 10 000 people could be death. My boss told "they are overdoing the story, no airplane has 10 000 people in it". I heard the story on the radio. Two airplanes crashed on the building. When I heard that ... my heart skipped a beat.
I am sitting now in my car on my way to evening school in a trafficjam. I am calm from the outside, but inside questions and sorrow are racing through my head. Sorrow for the tall loss of lives due to the assault. Sorrow for the fact that 2 AIRPLANES caused the disaster. Questions about how it will change the airplaneindustry (travel, building them, designing them)

What will it be? A WW3 or a far-away-from-my-bed-show? Whatever ... it will be big.

F**K, I am trying to promote the small aviation and then ... this happens."

The page ends with a small drawing of myself, head on a table, hands on top of my head. A dark cloud above my head.</text>
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                    While we were all sitting in class that fateful day waiting to be able to understand what our chemistry teacher was talking about we heard the crackle of the school P.A. system. ?? Teachers please excuse the interruption?? Dr. Deu stands there rolls her eyes and says something about rude administrators. ?? As you al may have already heard, we have just gotten wind that a plane has just hit the pentagon and two more have hit the world train center in New York City. There have been no reports of injuries as of this moment but we will keep you updated. Please go one as if today is a normal day.??  
            Yeah Right. September eleventh will never be remembered as a normal day so of course we did not treat it as such.  My first reaction was; what? No one injured? They must be crazy or misinformed, but maybe I was in shock and did not hear the announcement correctly. I also said to myself and those in my work group; that was not an accident. And we all mouthed one word. Terrorists. 
Dr. Due was intent on following orders so we continued on our lesson. However, we obviously got nothing out of it she finally quit and let us watch TV. We turned it on just as the south tower fell. 
          Because of the fact that my school is located about twenty minutes from our nations capital many of the students have or had parents who worked in or around the pentagon. Because of this, our school allowed us to call our parents to see if every thing was all right. During this escapade my fellow students and I sat around and talked and just said over and over, wow all those people. 
           All day we spent watching the news, in every class, even at lunch. There was an eerie silence in the hallways. People silently weeping and others just standing, thinking, hugging or seething. 
                  Once I reached home I searched my house trying to find my parents. The night before I had had an argument with my mother and left the house for school not even saying good-bye. However, when I found her we just looked at each other, smiled, hugged, and then cried. All those people.  All those families, fathers, mothers, kids, and friends. 
              Like every other family in the country, the TV was kept on all evening and throughout the night.
             The next day we had no school due to the national emergency or something. SO I spent the day in personal meditation and bible reading. This is what helped me to get throughout that day, that week, that month. This year. The scripture I focused on was Revelation 21:3,4 ??And God will wipe every tear form their eyes and death will be no more, neither will morning nor outcry nor pain be anymore, the former things have passed away. And also the scripture where Jesus says to the robber, ??You will be with me in paradise.?? Remembering these things helped me to calm all the anger and sadness, I felt and I was able to console others. Being one of Jehovah??s Witness, I found that my speaking with people that week was a very enlightening and encouraging experience. Talking about the bible seemed to be just what people wanted. For a short time anyway, people were confused and needed help wherever they could find it. Or maybe just someone to talk with. All those people...
	Though every thing is back to normal now, I will never forget how people came together no matter who they were.  It is a wonderful preview for what will be upon us in the future.
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              <text>I cant believe i can recall this horrific tradgedy almost 4 years on but thi is what i remember and how i am now.

I had just got to my brothewrs house 4 miles away for a cup of tea and a chat when his phone called, it was our mum, she urged us to put on the televivion on bbc1. we did this and i remember as we did it was the time that the 2nd plane hit WTC1. We both sat there staring in a transe at the television. Then panic set in , i remembered someone i work with telling me that his sister worked in WTC1, there was nothing i could do as i didnt have his number to ring him on the phone. I decided that i would head home as (and this sounds silly) it was the usa that the attack had happened , it may be a coordinated attack on all western countries. So i set off home .

(the sister of my friend was ok )

Thats all i recall from that day but this is the problem now...

I still get extremely upset over any mention of 911 and it has affected my abbility to sleep properly ever since. I hope some day that i can get over what happened , but at the moment the images have stayed with me.

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              <text>On the morining of September 11, 2001, I was finishing a job of evaluating research proposals for state funded breast cancer money.  I was gettting a taxi to go to the airport in Albany, NY to pick up a car I had reserved with my colleague and she told me did I hear that a plane had crashed into Tower 1. I said no and no way. I thought it was asamll private of commuter plane which had maybe losts its radar or something. No she said its a big commerical airline. By the time we got to the airport a second plane had crashed and we knew something terrible was happening. All the way down we stopped at he rest stops and when we got to rest stop one,there was a big tv set in the ceiling with about 75 people staring as the buildings toppled or rather collapsed floor by floor like a sea of pancake cement dust. We heard the screaning and pandomonium on screen and just stared and stared. We knew what we saw but I couldn't quite beieve it. My friend was saying who she knew in the buidlings and who might have dies (and by, the way that turned out to be true).  We rushed down on the NY Thruway. She has a sick husband who just can not be leaft alone long and I had cats and job to go to. But while worrying about the bridges being opened to get from Upstate NY to Long Island, I knew in my heart that I would attempt to work for the Red Cross in some aspect of the job, because for years I have gone out to other places to help people and I just kept saying, but this is NY I have to contribute. We were luckily able to buzz over the Bewbridge-Beacon Bridge a little north west of Katonah NY.  and drove down the 684 to the Huctinson River Parkway. It was erie with no traffice and when we got to the Throgs Neck Bridge separating the Bronx from Queens, Long Island, we saw police on the giant toll plaza waving us through the toll gates which were all open.
No one paid the toll as they would not allow anyone to slow down or stop. The suspected that the bridges might be rigged or that someone might have a car bomb, hence no tolls (very strange) and no stopping. As we came to the Long Island protion of the Corss Island Parkway and drove south it was dead quiet, though we received what continuous news there was via radio, as we drove home.  As we came to the Southern State Parkway I knoew there was some serious and terrible business goning on as the state and city police were out and carrying weapons I have on ly seen in Brazil and other developing countries; machine guns, and they woeren't kidding aroiund. They were looking for suspects and they want'ed no troupbe from the likes of us. All that night I received reports of people who knew people who were missing and I received questions about what to do about it. Some of my friends know that I am a Red Cross Disaster Mental health Specialist and a National Instructor of Disaster mental Health and that I know a little bit about the Red Cross goes about its business. I knew from my past RC work that they would have their fingers on the pulse and operation of the missiong persons systems, whatever that would be and I volunteered to take four names of missing people into the Red Cross in Greater new York to see if I could access the resources.  When I got ij on the evening of September 12 at around 6;30PM, There were some very tired mental health staff and the Mental Health Job Officer lookinfg for an exkperienced person to take the vening shift and intrerface with the 24 hour fundtions we had up and running. They saw mw and asked and I said yes, which led me to a remarkable, difficult, emotional and compelling next five weeks of Red Cross Action.  I was able to connect with missing persons and connect back to those friends who were worried about the four missing people in their lives. Sadly, each on e fo the four is gone!  There are so many sotries like that with this Trader Center thing.  I worked almost a round the clocl helping to give full birth to the delivery of Mental Health Services in a national disaster for the Red Cross.  Once something this enormous is launced we know it is only a matter of time before the headquarters for the work moves to full-tine staffing and the resouces set up in the field (most of them at least) will be running wxtremely long hours if not round the clock.  I worked at Red Cross Head quarters for the first 21/2 weeks helping to trouble shoot and to staff the may 24 hour services Red Cross was now and in the future going to provide for 9-11 persons affected and the staff helping them.  Them ost compelling story I have from that time at headquarters was when on Freiday September 21, the officer agreed that I should leave headquarters for a field experience. What a field experience it was, too. I was assigned to work as a "Tech", on a boat leaving from the Marine Firefighters Station at the Brooklyn Navy Yard and travel by boat with chaplians and other Red Cross Mental Health staff to take about 50 family members to grouind Zero to see the devastation and to memorialize and honor their loved ones.  We left the Navey yard and sailed under the Brooklyn Bridge around the Western side of manhattan and landed near the now metallic dessert of the Twin Trade Towers. There we met the new Fire Chaplain who would be filling the shoes of their dear and beloved Michael Judge who died with fire men in the building collapse. We were walked to the site, which was aweful and horrific and all lit up like a terrible hollywood movie set.  There were canine body retreivers climbing over towering infernos of the former Trade Towers. It was a mass grave and had the smell and terror of my mental image of say, London after the Blitz. The odors and sounds were horrifying and the feeling that there were 6000 souls or remians ( at that time we still hadn't been given accurate figures of the number actually missing or dead)  of shortly-before living,  vibrant people was so sad. The Fire Chaplain spoke, so movingly, with such regard for the lost and for their familiy members that I was moved to internal tears.  He was spiritual without being overwhelming or overly dramatic, he was real, yet kind and very sympathetic and I think the fire familiy members receivd his good intentions.

We stayed about 45 minutes, prayed meditatied and the loved ones were given time to "talk" with thier fallen members. I was speechless at the feelings it dreq out in me, of loneliness, of awe and grief and the anger I feel at our governments for not having better securit in place and whatever else was running through my mind. Silently, out of respect for those who were lost and lying in molecules, parts on in whole pieces at varying levels of the rubble, we walked back to the boat. We got in and started the long night ride back to the Navy Yard under the Bridge.  The night air was magnificent, perfect and the ride was visually awesome, perfect.  We chatted with family members and I handed out lots of white or brown funnsy. fluffy teddy bears to anyone who wanted one or tow or three for themselves, children and gradchidren. After all, these people had just lost sons. husbands, siblings fathers and I thought, what will become fo all these people who woke up, sent a member to work and now traveled throught this sacred and spritiual place created by a momventof revenge, hatred and violence. We returned to the fired house, and then were driven by two wonderful firefighters back to Brooklyn Headquarters, chatting all the way, carefully avioding any talk about what we had experienced that evening in that strange and compelling place. We left our tasks at headquarters at around 4:30 and it was now about 11:00PM. I was set to now work a twelve hour night shift having just worked about 10 evenings straight and then going to my day job during the daytime.  Nut, the officers on job told those of us who witnessed the memorial at Ground Zero that evening to go home and get some sleep. We were reminded that we Mental Health Staff needed to take care of ourselves as much as we supported and litened to those affected by the disaster and those who worked to delivery Red Cross Services. So. I got in my car and took the ride home to Long Island in utter spiritual silence. I did not shed a tear, but I wanted to.  I didn't tell friends what I heard and saw in the space and ceremony.  I didn't think any words I could imagine would conjure for any listener, the terrible, aweful feelings of the emptiness of that extremely busy place. </text>
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              <text>"No! Oh my God! Oh my God! We are going to war!" These were the first words spoken by me to my daughter, Holly, when she phoned and made me aware of the evil horror that was attacking our country. I began praying but mostly repeating ?please God help them out? over and over again. And as the rest of most of the world, I was in shock and disbelief that this was possible in our blessed USA. I spent most of the day emailing my family who were at work without TV keeping them up on the search for any survivors. I wanted to do something more to help but came up with nothing with being on the West Coast...so I made a simple big poster and placed it in my front window, "We are praying for our servicemen &amp; women, the firemen and the policemen and thank thanking them for risking their lives to save us." Since then I have made it a point to go out of my way to shake the hand of a policeman or a firemen and pray for our armed forces and our President. Each and every time I hear a siren I stop and pray for their safety and wisdom. For 22 years, I have flown our USA flag in front of my home because I have always believed it was a sign of freedom and I still have that belief ...only it is stronger in my heart and has gone far beyond my personal world. I thought I had so many problems until 9/11 - then I realized I had none of any importance to compare. May God Bless America and May God Bless Our World. </text>
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              <text>I was in my bed with my 14 month old asleep when the phone rang and woke me up.I will never forget that disturbing call,it was my sister telling me to go turn on my tv that our nation was under attack.Half asleep I was trying to process what she was saying while running to turn on the tv.Once I saw the first tower on fire I was in shock and was asking my sister what was going on!She said that she was not sure but a plane crashed into the tower and then the second one hit while we were talking.At that point in time I was 7 1/2 months pregnant with my third child.I just started crying and got my older son up and told him he was not going to school and that I was staying home with them. I called my husband and asked if he knew what was going on he said he heard some of it but had know idea how bad things really were until I told him.He tried to reassure me that everything would be ok but I saw the images on tv and it was horrible and I felt like nothing was ok!I sat in front of the tv crying while I held my two kids and thanked God that I had my family to hold.I felt like everything that I knew of life had just been taken away.I tried not to cry for the sake of my children but it did not work I felt like a big part of me was lost and I just could not imagine how all of those families who lost people were feeling.i was really upset and very angry and confused on how poeple could be so ignorant to do such a horrific thing to another human being.It was definitley a life altering day that will stick with me for the rest of my life.I had a hard time dealing with this like so many others .I found my self worried about bringing a new life into this world,and I would just cry a night for a those who were lost and pray for them.I felt like locking up my family so they were with me all the time to know that they were safe,my husband kept telling me that we are safe and to have faith.Finally I agree with him I have realized that no one can take away our freedom no matter what happens.I still worry what is going to happen in the future knowing that realisticly it is out of our hands and we just have to keep the faith alive and hope for the best.I feel that we have united as a country and will stay that way!I pray for all the poeple that were lost and their friends and family and all the heros you will never be forgotten and all will live in our hearts foever!!!!!!!
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              <text>I had just turned 19 that summer. I was sleeping in that day because I wasn't scheduled to be into work until the afternoon. My mother was out of work on disability and had a tendency to wake up at the crack of dawn. For about an hour, the phone was ringing like crazy. I kept waking up mad wondering why someone could be calling this early in the morning in the middle of the week. I finally got out of bed and went downstairs to see what was going on and that's when my mother told me to look at the TV. At first I didn't believe it. I thought she was watching some movie. I asked her what it was and she told me that someone flew a plane into the World Trade Center. I still didn't believe it. Being that it was just the beginning of the "post 9/11 world", I automatically shot out a snide remark about how only an idiot can fly a plane into a building that big. "How do you not see it?" I said. And as I said it, the second plane flew into building 1. After that I was quiet. "Terrorism, they think" my mother said. Until that very second, I had never in my life thought about what terrorism actually was. To me, and every other person in my generation, terrorism was something that happened in third world countries. In school we were taught that "there will never be a battle fought on American soil, not in this day and age.". In 10 minutes everything I had ever learned, believed in and known was relinquished from reality. Here I am, almost 4 years later and I'm crying as I write this. The goosebumps all over my body and the chills going up and down my spine haven't eased the slightest. My stomach churns when I see pictures, my heart stops momentarily every time I hear a plane over head (and I do mean EVERY TIME!). I'm four years older than I was then, and none the wiser. I still don't understand this "terrorism", not that anyone in their right mind should. I'm still relearning life. The "new" way things are. nothing is taken for granted, and nothing goes unappreciated. My heart aches just as much as it did that day, the images are fresh in my mind and the tears flow just as freely. Us New Yorkers have a new bond, not one we brag and boast of but none the less, we all feel "it". "It" is different to each one of us, but yet we understand completely about the other's. Everyone seems a bit nicer, a bit more compassionate and a bit stronger. It seems like everyone has that same wrinkle on their forehead, that same frown-line. 50 years from now, it'll be me and my friends left. The only ones who will remember the "pre 9/11 life". The way things were.</text>
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