story1229.xml

story1229.xml

born-digital

story

yes

no

2002-08-19

I don't exactly remember the time that the phone rang, but it was my boyfriend calling to ask me if I had watched the news yet, being that I don't watch the news, ever, I thought to myself "this must be serious". I asked what happened, and he told me that a plane had just flew into Tower 1. I was in complete disbelief, and turned on the TV, only to find out that it was true. As I sat up in bed, awake even before my alarm had gone off, I couldn't believe my eyes. I got out of bed to go tell my roommate but her mom had just called her to let her know, so she was already watching it. Then came the plane that crashed into Tower 2, the Pentagon, and then the 3rd that crashed on it's way to DC.... rumors of car bombings... that they were on there way to LA... They... the unnamed and unknown. My fear increased when my boyfriend, who travels constantly, told me that he was on his way back to LA. Thankfully he was only in Oceanside, but none the less, I wanted him to stay there. All we (LA) were getting was that we were on alert and that we could be hit next. He assured me that he would stay for the next few hours. I tried to call work to find out if we were even going to be open that day, but of course making phone call was impossible, as phone lines were busy for the next 2 days. At the time I was an Analyst for a Fixed Income firm in Pasadena, which meant a 30 minute drive from the San Fernando Valley. One I didn't want to make in fear of what was to come. I finally got a hold of someone in the office only to tell me that the firm would be open, and that I would be required to come in. So I did. Because no one really knew the impact of what had happened that morning, the news had not fully hit the radio stations here, so I was left with a very quiet drive into Pasadena. What I was left with were the images that I saw over and over and over and over again. Ones that till this day, I can close my eyes and see. Ones that I will never be able to erase from my mind, as long as I live. I finally arrived at work and was not prepared for the news. Both towers had collapsed. Had I fully understood how those 4 simple words would change my world as I knew it to be... I only know now. The trading desk had every TV turned to the news... sitting at my desk, completely numb trying to process what the hell was going on. Who did this... and why? What gave someone that right to take all those peoples lifes... Then the phone rang, it was my roommate. She reminded me that our friend Mike worked in Tower 1 and that our other friend Dave worked in Tower 2. At that point I lost it. I called my boyfriend and couldn't get a hold of him, left him a message to call me back... I needed him. He called me back to console me and let me know that he was on his way home. After that I couldn't pull it together. An hour after I got to work, they sent us home. I don't know how I drove myself home that day. I don't remember anything. I do remember sitting on the couch watching the same thing over and over again. And crying because of all those people that I watched jump to their death... can you imagine being so terrified that you were going to die, that you jump out of a window that is over 100 stories up? I can't... but they did. I remember listening to the radio on the way home everyday, 98.7. Their parent station was Clear Channel Communication that was based out of NYC. Everyday for weeks they would keep us updated as to the latest developments, and everyday I drove home in tears. I was blessed enough to have all my family here on the west coast, I didn't lose anyone, including my friends. They were lucky enough to survive, but there were thousands that didn't. I cried for those thousands everyday. I didn't need to know them, all I needed to know was that they were mothers and fathers. Brothers and sisters... aunts and uncles, grandparents. I'm 27, and I just made my first trip to NYC this last June. My boyfriend asked me to think of the places that I wanted to visit the most... Ground Zero, I told him, nothing else I felt I needed to see. So, he took me. And I cried again. As I said before, I didn't need to live there, or lose a loved one to feel this loss, or to feel this anger inside. All I need to be is an American.